第7讲 汉语复合长句翻译(一)

汉语流水长句的翻译方 法（一）
1. 英汉长句的结构特点
• 汉语长句 • 流水句，竹节句 英语长句 树形句，葡萄句
流水句翻译步骤
• 在翻译汉语的流水句式时，首先析出命题， 之后将命题按照性质归类，然后判断命题 之间的逻辑关系（如总分、因果、推进、 转折等），再后选择合适的主谓结构作为 主干安排核心信息，并配以从句、独立结 构、介词结构等，安排次要信息，最后考 虑好句式的节奏、韵律。
where fog envelop halfway up the mountain and clear streams flow along the valleys. （郭建忠）
Compared version:
Fairy-like, Mt. Tianmu, with springs flowing over the rocks and fog streaming around the mountain sides, is densely forested and scarcely frequented. (inadequate，重心不对) Densely forested and scarcely frequented, Mt. Tianmu is like a fairy land. Springs flow over the rocks and fog stream around the mountain sides.（翻译为两句）
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(1) 壁立的岩石，静静流着的小河，风过处 便窃窃私语的树林，都成为了她的亲密邻居。 The companies she had were the steep cliffs, the gently flowing stream, and the trees that whispered in the wind.(the whispering trees upon the passing breeze.) 构句方式the companies she had were… 形合手段 and, that
• 这让我想起去年流传在网上的一个帖子，说专家称 “自行车是比汽车更大的污染”，原因居然是“因 为自行车太多，影响了城市的道路交通，机动车运 行缓慢，尾气排放量增加，城市空气污染加剧。 • 改译（因果关系） This reminds me of a popular topic on the internet in the past year. It said that some experts believed that “Bicycles caused more pollution than cars.” And the reason they gave actually was that “too many bicycles crowd the roads which slows down the vehicles, and as a result, more exhausts are emitted and the pollution goes worse.”
译文2
• The many (Many of the) young friends I know, though bright and diligent, excellent in their studies, are so poor in Chinese that even writing a smooth letter is above them. When asked why, they say they are not interested in Chinese. • 此译文译出了“我常见许多青年的朋友” 的真正意义。
• Nanhu Garden Residential Quarter, located in where the former Nanhu Airport was , Wuchang District, is developed by Wuhan Baoan Real Estate Eevelopment Co.Ltd, a branch of China Baoan Group, only a 10-minute walk from the city‟s downtown area. （强调开发公司，成为了 公司广告，不符合原文意图）
2.析出命题
• 将同类性质的命题归类，化繁为简，再决定 命题之间的逻辑关系，使思维清晰流畅。 • 弄清原文的词汇、句子表面之下的真正意义。
• 我常见许多青年的朋友，聪明用功，成 绩优异，而语文程度不足以达意，甚至 写一封信亦难得通顺，问其故则曰其兴 趣不在语文方面。（梁实秋《学问与趣 味》）
• 我常见许多青年的朋友，聪明用功，成绩优异， 而语文程度不足以达意，甚至写一封信亦难得 通顺，问其故则曰其兴趣不在语文方面。（梁 实秋《学问与趣味》） • 译文1 : I have come across a great many young friends, bright and diligent, excelling in studies as they are. However they are so weak in Chinese that they can not even write a smooth letter. When I asked them why, they said they were not interested in Chinese. （张培基 译）
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1) 卖的卖了；只靠着我 替人家做些针黹生活寻来的钱，如何供得 你读书?（吴敬梓 《儒林外史》）
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年岁不好，柴米又贵；这几件旧衣服和旧家伙， 当的当了，卖的卖了；只靠着我替人家做些针黹 生活寻来的钱，如何供得你读书?（吴敬梓 《儒林 外史》） Times are hard, and fuel and rice are expensive. The few old clothes and furniture we have are pawned or sold. We are living on what little money I make by doing some needlework. How can I pay for your schooling? (原文是一个没受过多少教育的贫苦的母亲说的话， 翻译过来，句式以简单清楚为好，措词也以平常 为上。切分后译成四个句子，简单清楚，干净漂 亮。)
总分关系
Mt. Tianmu is like a fairy land. It is densely forested and scarcely frequented, with springs flow over the rocks and fog streaming around the mountain sides.
背景-主题
• At a hard time when fuel and rice are expensive, and our old clothes and furniture have to be pawned or sold, how can I pay your schooling only by doing some needlework? • 此译文仅仅只是从语言方面进行的考虑， 不涉及风格问题，只是让形合的程度更高。
• 这种床垫工艺先进，结构新颖，造型美观，款式多 样，舒适大方，携带方便。 • This bed cushion is advanced in technology, novel in structure, beautiful in shape and various in patterns. It is comfortable to use and convenient to carry. • 宣传资料常常用多个四字格对产品或旅游项目等进 行介绍，给翻译制造了障碍。译文中，这个句子被 一分为二，前一句四个短语，后一句两个短语，这 样划分主要出于表达便利的需要。第一句是一个排 比结构，有较强的组句能力，而第二句是一般的非 对称的并列结构。
• 下面例子选自《武汉晚报》一篇名为《超 女何辜》的短文。 • 例：这让我想起去年流传在网上的一个帖 子，说专家称“自行车是比汽车更大的污 染”，原因居然是“因为自行车太多，影 响了城市的道路交通，机动车运行缓慢， 尾气排放量增加，城市空气污染加剧。”
• 例：这让我想起去年流传在网上的一个帖子，说专 家称“自行车是比汽车更大的污染”，原因居然是 “因为自行车太多，影响了城市的道路交通，机动 车运行缓慢，尾气排放量增加，城市空气污染加 剧。” • 讨论译文 • This reminds me about a post floating about on Internet last year, which claimed that bicycles were a bigger pollution than vehicles by experts and the reason was that “there are too many bicycles which affect the city transportation and reduce the speed of vehicles, hence the amount of emission increases and the air pollution in cities deteriorates”.
形合法
• • 1）切分法（division)： 切分的过程中，文体风格和逻辑关系都可能受到影 响或发生改变。
2）合并（combination) 形合法：流水句转化为树形句 形合法的具体方法： 1）使用连接词，关系词 2）将一部分流水分句转换成介词结构，分词结构， 从句结构，同位语结构等从属结构
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• 分析：分句不明晰，造成意思表达不清楚，结论与 原因混淆，语义重心模糊甚至转移。原因可能有二： • 1）对汉语的理解没有到位，原文是三层意思，分别 从背景——结论——原因，一层一层展开，但是以 上的译文都混淆或打乱了原文的层次。从此可见， 理解是翻译的基础，对汉语原文的理解同样重要。 • 2）译者理解了意思，但表达时缺乏层次的概念，照 着原文，一股脑地硬翻下去，待到山穷水尽时，打 个句号，再重新起句，完全没有整体和层次概念。 甚或依照原文一个句号，译文只用一个句子译下来 的学生不在少数。可问题是，原文用一个句子，逻 辑是清楚的，而译文用一个句子, 逻辑是混乱的，更 不用说句式和语法也经不起推敲。