生活大爆炸台词 第一季 13集
生活大爆炸字幕 TBBT the big bang theory S01E13
100:00:00,940 --> 00:00:03,380ew,more details about the new star trek film.200:00:03,730 --> 00:00:07,230there's going to be a scene depicting spock's birth.300:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,610i'd be more interested in the scene depicting spock's conception.400:00:12,060 --> 00:00:16,430oh please,for vulcans,mating,or if you will pon farr500:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,310the extremely private matter.600:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,290still i'd like to know the details.700:00:21,410 --> 00:00:24,440his mother was human his father was vulcan, that couldn’t just conceive.800:00:24,540 --> 00:00:25,730maybe they had to go to a clinic.900:00:26,070 --> 00:00:30,800imagine spock's dad in a little room with a little copy of pointy ears and shapely rears.1000:00:32,540 --> 00:00:35,290How come in Star Trek everyone's private parts are the same1100:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,890no alien lady have told captain kirk, hey get your thing out of my nose.1200:00:42,830 --> 00:00:44,940hi can you help me iwas writing an email1300:00:44,940 --> 00:00:46,300and the a key got stuck1400:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,310now it's just going aaaaaaaa1500:00:49,530 --> 00:00:50,730what did you spill on it?1600:00:51,000 --> 00:00:51,700nothing1700:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,530diet coke1800:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,570and yoghurt1900:00:57,330 --> 00:00:58,680a little nail polish2000:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,120i'll take a look at it2100:01:00,700 --> 00:01:03,340gentlemen, switching to local nerd news2200:01:03,860 --> 00:01:08,230fishman chan...2300:01:08,420 --> 00:01:09,660youre kidding, why not?2400:01:09,790 --> 00:01:14,490they formed a barber shop quatet and got a gig playing knott’s berry farm(诺氏果园，南加州一主题公园)2500:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,520wow, so in your world2600:01:18,050 --> 00:01:20,110youre like the cool guys2700:01:20,910 --> 00:01:22,330Recognize（答对了）2800:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,630this is our year2900:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,380entire Physics bowl will 'kneel before Zod'",3000:01:29,480 --> 00:01:29,810zod?3100:01:30,380 --> 00:01:32,900- Kryptonian villain, long story - good story3200:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,310- count me out - what? why?3300:01:39,590 --> 00:01:42,580you wanna use my intelligence in atawdrycompetitio 3400:01:43,310 --> 00:01:45,290will you ask picasso to paint picturnary3500:01:48,830 --> 00:01:48,830will you ask noah webster to play boggle?3600:01:50,180 --> 00:01:52,680will you ask jacques cousteauto play gold fish?3700:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,280c'mon, you need a 4 person team, we're four people.3800:01:57,380 --> 00:02:02,760by that reasoning, we should also play bridge, hold up a chuppah and enter the olympic bobsled competition.3900:02:03,730 --> 00:02:05,800tickets to that plz.4000:02:06,710 --> 00:02:10,450sheldon, what? do i need to quote spock's dying words to you?4100:02:10,550 --> 00:02:11,480no, dont.4200:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,050- the needs of the many4300:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,440outweigh the need of the few4400:02:16,590 --> 00:02:17,410or the one4500:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,580damn it, i'll do it.4600:02:21,830 --> 00:02:26,020<font color="#ffff00">-=/bbs=-proudly presents</font>4700:02:29,230 --> 00:02:35,330<font color="#ffff00">-=/bbs=-sync:咔肉肉</font>4800:02:39,060 --> 00:02:42,810<font color=#ffff00>the big bang theory season 1 episode 13</font>4900:02:46,470 --> 00:02:49,040ok, first physics bowl business5000:02:49,850 --> 00:02:51,960we need to truly kick-ass team name5100:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,230suggestions?5200:02:53,490 --> 00:02:56,280how about the perpetual motion squad?5300:02:57,230 --> 00:03:01,130it's beyond the laws of physics, plus a little heads-up for the ladies.5400:03:02,050 --> 00:03:06,790- the ladies? - perpetual motion suqad, we can go all night.5500:03:06,790 --> 00:03:08,360- i like it - i dont5600:03:09,140 --> 00:03:13,540teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidaing one's opponent.5700:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,650then we could be the bengal tigers ?5800:03:15,750 --> 00:03:16,540poor choice5900:03:16,540 --> 00:03:21,260graham for graham, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strengths of the army ant 6000:03:22,540 --> 00:03:26,880maybe so. But you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass6100:03:30,450 --> 00:03:32,390Let's put it to a vote.All those in favor...6200:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,300 point of order.6300:03:33,310 --> 00:03:36,130I move that any vote onteam names must be unanimous. 6400:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,910No man shoulbe forced to emblazon his chest with a bengal tiger6500:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,490 when common sense dictatesit should be an army ant.6600:03:42,500 --> 00:03:46,560Will the gentleman from the great state of denial yield for a question?6700:03:46,570 --> 00:03:47,700I will yield.6800:03:47,710 --> 00:03:50,820 After we go through the exerciseof an annoying series of votes,6900:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,460all of which the gentleman will lose, 7000:03:52,470 --> 00:03:54,910 does he then intend to threatento quit if he does not get his way?7100:03:54,910 --> 00:03:55,490He does.7200:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,710I move we are the armyants. All those in favor?00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:03,920Good afternoon, and welcome totoday's physics bowl practice round.7400:04:03,930 --> 00:04:09,200I'm penny, and I'll be your host because apparently I didn't have anything else to do on a satday afternoon, 7500:04:09,230 --> 00:04:12,550and isn't that just a little sad?7600:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,410Gentlemen, are you ready?7700:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,180- Yes- Of course7800:04:15,190 --> 00:04:16,420*******7900:04:16,430 --> 00:04:21,080You*******8000:04:21,090 --> 00:04:23,740He'll be okay once the womenare mixed into the crowd.8100:04:23,750 --> 00:04:27,210He only has a problem whenthey're one-on-one and smell nice.8200:04:27,220 --> 00:04:30,170Ah, thanks, raj. It's vanilla oil.8300:04:30,180 --> 00:04:33,610I was actually the one whonoticed. Okay, let's just start.00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:36,710 Okay, the first questionis on the topic of optics.8500:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,800 "What is the shortestlight pulse ever produced?"8600:04:39,820 --> 00:04:40,550 dr. Cooper.8700:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,340 And ofourse the answeris 130 attoseconds.8800:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,860 - That is correct.- I knew that, too.8900:04:46,310 --> 00:04:47,770 Good for you, sweetie.9000:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,940 Okay, next question: "What is the quantum mechanical effect 9100:04:50,970 --> 00:04:54,230 "used to encode dataon hard-disk drives?"9200:04:54,240 --> 00:04:54,830 howard?9300:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,520 And of course the answeris giant magnetoresistance.9400:04:57,530 --> 00:04:58,210 Right.9500:04:58,230 --> 00:04:59,850Hey, I buzzed in.9600:04:59,880 --> 00:05:03,030And I answered. It's called teamwork.9700:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,730Don't you think I should answerthe engineering questions?9800:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,160I am an engineer.9900:05:08,190 --> 00:05:12,780By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal. 10000:05:15,090 --> 00:05:17,990- Just ask another one.- Okay.10100:05:18,000 --> 00:05:23,230"What artificial satellite has seen glimpsesof einstein's predicted frame dragging?"10200:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,950and of course, it's gravity probe B.10300:05:25,970 --> 00:05:28,830Sheldon, you have tolet somebody else answer.10400:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,860Why?10500:05:29,870 --> 00:05:31,590Because it's polite.10600:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,810What do manners have to do with?10700:05:33,820 --> 00:05:35,840Itthis is war.10800:05:35,850 --> 00:05:40,710Were the romans polite when they salted the ground of carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again? 10900:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,590Leonard, you said I onlyhad to ask questions.11000:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,790The objective of the competitionis to give correct answers.11100:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,950If I know them, whyshouldn't I give them?11200:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,680Some of us might havethe correct answers, too.11300:05:53,690 --> 00:05:55,730Oh, please. You don't even have a phd.11400:05:55,740 --> 00:05:56,690All right, that's it!11500:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,950- Howard, sit down.- Okay.11600:06:00,370 --> 00:06:01,840Maybe we should take a little break.11700:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,660 Good idea. I need my wrist brace. 11800:06:03,670 --> 00:06:08,090All this button-pushing is aggravating my old nintendo injury. 11900:06:08,390 --> 00:06:09,590I agree.12000:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,110 What did he say?12100:06:11,120 --> 00:06:15,830He compared sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product12200:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,910one might use on summer's eve. 12300:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,810 Yeah, and the bag it came in.12400:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,750 Leonard, excellent. Iwant to show you something.12500:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,270Can it wait? I need to talk to you. 12600:06:31,280 --> 00:06:31,980Just look.12700:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,600I've designed the perfectuniforms for our team.12800:06:34,610 --> 00:06:37,360The colors are based on startrek: The original series.12900:06:37,370 --> 00:06:41,720The three of you will wear support red, and I will wear command gold.13000:06:42,790 --> 00:06:44,870Why do they say "aa"?13100:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,340Army ants.13200:06:47,350 --> 00:06:48,590Isn't that confusing?13300:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,130 "Aa" might mean somethingelse to certain people.13400:06:52,140 --> 00:06:56,220Why would a physics bowl teambe called anodized aluminum?13500:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,310No, I meant... never mind.13600:07:00,320 --> 00:07:05,880Hey, check it out, I gotyou a batman cookie jar.13700:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,660Oh, neat! What's the occasion?13800:07:08,670 --> 00:07:14,250Well, you're a friend, and you like batman and cookies, and you're off the team. 13900:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,600What?14000:07:18,610 --> 00:07:20,720Howard, raj and I justhad a team meeting.14100:07:20,740 --> 00:07:21,560No, you didn'T.14200:07:21,590 --> 00:07:23,480Yes, we did. I just came from there.14300:07:23,490 --> 00:07:25,420Okay, I don't knowwhere you just came from,14400:07:25,430 --> 00:07:28,830but it could not have have been a team meeting because I'm on the team and I wasn't there. 14500:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,580Ergo, the team did not meet.14600:07:31,590 --> 00:07:37,400Okay, let me try it this way: I was ata coffee klatch with a couple of friends,14700:07:37,410 --> 00:07:41,100and one thing led to another, andit turns out you're off the team.14800:07:42,110 --> 00:07:42,920Why?14900:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,480Because you're takingall the fun out of it.15000:07:45,490 --> 00:07:49,400I'm sorry, is the winner of the physicsbowl the team that has the most fun?15100:07:49,420 --> 00:07:54,780Okay, let me try it this way: You're annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore. 15200:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,570I see.15300:07:58,580 --> 00:08:04,930Well, at this point I should informyou that I intend to form my own team15400:08:04,940 --> 00:08:08,480and destroy the molecular bondsthat bind your very matter together15500:08:08,500 --> 00:08:12,490and reduce the resultingparticulate chaos to tears.15600:08:14,370 --> 00:08:16,790Thanks for the heads-up.15700:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,110You're welcome.15800:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,900- One more thing.- Yes?15900:08:20,910 --> 00:08:23,030It's on, bitch.16000:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,040So who'd he get to be on his team?16100:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,200He won't say.16200:08:34,210 --> 00:08:38,060He just smiles and eatsmacaroons out of his bat jar.16300:08:38,790 --> 00:08:40,800He's using psychological warfare.16400:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,640We must reply in kind.16500:08:42,650 --> 00:08:45,520I say we wait until helooks at us, then laugh like,16600:08:45,530 --> 00:08:49,950"yes, you are a smart and strong competitor,"but we are also smart and strong,16700:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,430and we have a reasonablechance of defeating you."16800:08:54,710 --> 00:08:58,210How exactly would that laugh go?16900:09:01,890 --> 00:09:02,980that sounds more like,17000:09:02,990 --> 00:09:08,010"we are a tall, thin woman who wantsto make a coat out of your dalmatians （斑点狗）." 17100:09:09,770 --> 00:09:13,350Guys, let's remember that sheldonis still our friend and my roommate.17200:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,160So?17300:09:15,170 --> 00:09:18,040So nothing. Let's destroy him.17400:09:18,450 --> 00:09:20,520 Gentlemen.17500:09:27,620 --> 00:09:30,330 okay, we're going to need astrong fourth for our team.17600:09:30,340 --> 00:09:34,310You know who is apparently very smart is the girl who played tv's blossom. 17700:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,990She got a phd. Inneuroscience or something.17800:09:38,000 --> 00:09:43,220Raj, we're not getting tv's blossomto join our physics bowl team.17900:09:44,030 --> 00:09:46,860How about the girlfrom the wonder years?18000:09:47,970 --> 00:09:52,490 Gentlemen, I believe I've foundthe solution to all our problems.18100:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,910We can't ask leslie winkle.18200:09:55,920 --> 00:09:56,850 Why?18300:09:56,860 --> 00:10:01,290Because you slept together, and when she was done with you she discarded you like last night's chutney? 18400:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,910Yes.18500:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,340Sometimes you've got totake one for the team.18600:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,410Yeah, sack up, dude.18700:10:12,970 --> 00:10:14,960Fine.18800:10:15,590 --> 00:10:18,320Here I go, taking one for the team...18900:10:18,330 --> 00:10:20,400in the sack.19000:10:22,650 --> 00:10:24,070Hey, leslie.19100:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,120Hi, guys.19200:10:25,130 --> 00:10:29,420So, leslie, I have a question foryou, and it might be a little awkward,19300:10:29,430 --> 00:10:31,780you know, given that I...19400:10:31,810 --> 00:10:34,240hit that thang. （=thing）19500:10:36,590 --> 00:10:38,890Leonard, there's no reasonto feel uncomfortable just19600:10:38,900 --> 00:10:44,290because we've seen each other's faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus.19700:10:45,630 --> 00:10:46,630There's not?19800:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,180Gee, 'cause it sure soundslike there should be.19900:10:50,190 --> 00:10:54,270Rest assured that any aspects of our sexual relationship regarding your preferences,20000:10:54,280 --> 00:10:59,320your idiosyncrasies, your performance are still protected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom. 20100:10:59,330 --> 00:11:03,980Th's all very comforting, but if it'sokay, I'd like to get on to my question now.20200:11:03,990 --> 00:11:05,090Proceed.20300:11:05,100 --> 00:11:08,530We are entering the physics bowl,and we need a fourth for our team.20400:11:08,540 --> 00:11:12,480No, thanks. I'm really busy with mylike-sign dilepton supersymmetry search.20500:11:12,490 --> 00:11:15,760Dilepton, shmylepton. We need you.20600:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,930Sorry.20700:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,930Well, we tried.20800:11:19,940 --> 00:11:24,450We'll just have to face sheldonmano y mano y mano a mano.20900:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,830Wait, you're going upagainst sheldon cooper?21000:11:26,840 --> 00:11:27,670Yes.21100:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,810That arrogant, misogynistic,east texas doorknob21200:11:30,820 --> 00:11:36,540that told me I should abandon my work withhigh-energy particles for laundry and childbearing? 21300:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,180She's in.21400:11:42,940 --> 00:11:44,760so, how do you feel?21500:11:44,770 --> 00:11:49,100Nice and loose? (严阵以待)Come toplay? (一鼓作气)Got your game face on?（士气如虹）21600:11:49,110 --> 00:11:52,370- Are you ready?- Yeah.21700:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,260You know, you don't haveto stay for the whole thing.21800:11:54,270 --> 00:11:57,750Oh, no, no. I want to.Sounds really interesting.21900:12:03,980 --> 00:12:04,900 Gentlemen.22000:12:04,910 --> 00:12:06,900- Sheldon.- Sheldon.22100:12:10,260 --> 00:12:12,140 sheldon.22200:12:13,550 --> 00:12:16,120I'm just gonna sit down.22300:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,100So, is that your team?22400:12:21,110 --> 00:12:22,760 Actually, I don't need a team.22500:12:22,770 --> 00:12:26,630I could easily defeat you single-handedly, but the rules require four.22600:12:26,650 --> 00:12:31,060So, may I introduce the third-floor janitor, the lady from the lunch room, 22700:12:31,070 --> 00:12:35,220and my spanish is not good--either her son or her butcher.22800:12:35,890 --> 00:12:37,220And what about your team?22900:12:37,230 --> 00:12:40,470What rat have you recruitedto the S.S.Sinking ship?23000:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,100 Leslie: Hello, sheldon.23100:12:45,270 --> 00:12:46,470Leslie winkle.23200:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,100Yeah, leslie winkle.23300:12:48,110 --> 00:12:52,180The answer to the question, "who made sheldon cooper cry like a little girl?" 23400:12:52,720 --> 00:12:57,350Yes, well, I'm polymerized tree sap,and you're an inorganic adhesive.23500:12:57,370 --> 00:13:01,010So whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, 23600:13:01,020 --> 00:13:04,450returns on its originaltrajectory and adheres to you.23700:13:07,490 --> 00:13:11,490Okay, if everyone couldplease take your seats.23800:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,360Here's your t-shirt.23900:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,840Pms?月经前不快症状（Pre-Menstrual Syndrome）24000:13:24,850 --> 00:13:27,110It's a couple days early...24100:13:27,120 --> 00:13:31,740no. It stands for"perpetual motion squad."24200:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,870Oh, right, of course.What was I thinking?24300:13:35,590 --> 00:13:40,590Good afternoon, everyone, andwelcome to this year's physics bowl!24400:13:42,130 --> 00:13:45,920Today's preliminary matchfeatures two great teams.24500:13:45,930 --> 00:13:51,020Aa versus...pms.24600:13:51,030 --> 00:13:51,950All night long, y'all!24700:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,630WE CAN GO ALL NIGHT24800:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,970Okay, well, let's jump right in.24900:13:58,980 --> 00:14:01,880First question for ten points:25000:14:01,890 --> 00:14:07,250"What is the iso-spin singletpartner of the pi-zero meson?"派零介子的同重旋单重配合物是什么？25100:14:07,590 --> 00:14:08,260pms?25200:14:08,270 --> 00:14:11,080- The eta meson.埃塔介子- Corect.25300:14:12,530 --> 00:14:14,440- Formal protest.- On what grounds?25400:14:14,450 --> 00:14:17,480The velcro on my wrist(我袖口的维可牢-尼龙搭扣粘住我衣服了）brace caught on my shirt.25500:14:17,850 --> 00:14:18,940Denied.25600:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,620All right, for ten points,25700:14:20,630 --> 00:14:26,220"what is the lightest element onearth with no stable isotope?" aa25800:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,440And of course, the answer is technetium.锝25900:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,520Terrific.next question:26000:14:31,530 --> 00:14:37,280"What is the force between two unchargedplates due to quantum vacuum fluctuations?"由于量子真空波动造成两块无电荷板间产生的力是什么？26100:14:37,290 --> 00:14:38,110Pms?26200:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,730Sheldon can suck on...the casimir effect.卡西米尔效应26300:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,510Correct.26400:14:46,870 --> 00:14:51,710How does a quantum computer（量子电脑如何分解大数）factor large numbers? Pms?26500:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,930- Shor’s algorithm.肖式算法- Correct!26600:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,1904.1855 times ten to theseventh ergs per calorie.4.185乘以10的7次方尔格（功的单位）每卡路里26700:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,440Prevost's theory of exchanges.普雷乌斯特交换定理26800:15:03,450 --> 00:15:05,830Lambda equals one over pi r squared N.兰马达（入）等于派 R平方分之一26900:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,840760 degrees celsius...27000:15:07,850 --> 00:15:11,590the approximate temperature ofthe young lady in the front row.27100:15:12,030 --> 00:15:15,250Mr. Wolowitz, this isyour second warning.27200:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,300A sigma particle.（西格玛粒子）27300:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,640 Yes, assuming the hypothetical planet has a mass greater than the earth. 27400:15:20,650 --> 00:15:22,550 Host: Correct.27500:15:27,220 --> 00:15:31,760 Ladies and gentlemen, I holdin my hand the final question.27600:15:31,770 --> 00:15:33,090The score now stands:27700:15:33,100 --> 00:15:38,640Aa 1,150, pms 1,175.27800:15:38,650 --> 00:15:42,110So, for 100 points and the match, 27900:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,770 please turn your attentionto the formula on the screens.28000:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,750 Solve the equation.28100:15:50,310 --> 00:15:52,930Holy crap.28200:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,020 What the hell is that?28300:15:55,030 --> 00:15:58,790 Looks like something theyfound on the ship at roswell.28400:15:58,810 --> 00:16:00,910 Come on. Think. Leslie?28500:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,640 Leonard, it's not gonna work if you rush me. You have to let me get there. 28600:16:03,650 --> 00:16:06,690You are never gonnalet that go, are you?28700:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,390Ten seconds.28800:16:11,940 --> 00:16:14,850 Pms?28900:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,620 Sorry, I panicked.29000:16:17,630 --> 00:16:19,990Then guess.29100:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,260 eight.....29200:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,730.429300:16:29,740 --> 00:16:32,160I'm sorry, that's incorrect.29400:16:32,170 --> 00:16:37,520Aa, if you can answercorrectly, the match is yours.29500:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,140He doesn't have it.29600:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,840He's got squat.29700:16:51,820 --> 00:16:54,770Aa, I need your answer.29800:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,350The answer is minus eight pi alpha.29900:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,450Hang on. Hang on a second.That's not our answer.30000:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,460What are you doing?30100:17:01,470 --> 00:17:05,340Answering question.Winning physics bowl.30200:17:06,180 --> 00:17:08,210How do you know anything about physics?30300:17:08,220 --> 00:17:13,410Here I am janitor. In formersoviet union, I am physicist.30400:17:13,420 --> 00:17:18,010Leningrad politechnika. Go polar bears.30500:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,470Well, that's a delightful little story, but our arrangement was that you sit here and not say anything-- 306I answer the questions.30700:17:25,730 --> 00:17:27,270You didn't answer question.30800:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,670Hey, look, now, maybe you have democracy now in your beloved russia, 30900:17:30,690 --> 00:17:34,850but on this physics bowlteam, I rule with an iron fist.31000:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,670Aa, I need your official answer.31100:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,840- Well, it's not what he said.- Then what is it?31200:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,010- I want a different question.- You can't have a different question. 31300:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,350- Formal protest.- Denied.31400:17:43,360 --> 00:17:47,470- Informal protest.- Denied.31500:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,880I need your official answer.31600:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,650No. I decline to provide one.317Well, that's too bad because theanswer your teammate gave was correct.31800:17:55,790 --> 00:17:58,590That's your opinion.31900:18:00,450 --> 00:18:03,380- All right, the winner of the match is...- hang on.32000:18:03,390 --> 00:18:08,090Sheldon, is proving that you are single-handedly smarter than everyone else so important32100:18:08,100 --> 00:18:12,990that you would rather lose byyourself than win as part of a team?32200:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,150I don't understand the question.32300:18:16,530 --> 00:18:17,590Go ahead.32400:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,180The winner is pms.32500:18:19,600 --> 00:18:25,720* We are the champions, my friends *32600:18:26,950 --> 00:18:32,910* and we'll keep onfighting till the end *32700:18:34,900 --> 00:18:38,590* we are the champions *32800:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,470。
生活大爆炸第一季集剧本中英文台词
14 down is... move your finger...Phylum; which makes 14 across "Port-au-Prince"
竖14是……你手挡住了……是门;所以说横14是“太子港”
see; "Papa Doc's capital idea"; that's "Port-au-Prince".
噢;好的;看来我是新邻居了..Penny..
-Leonard: Leonard. Sheldon.
Leonard Sheldon..
-Penny: hi.
嗨
-Sheldon: hi.
嗨
-Penny: hi.
嗨
-Leonard: hi.
嗨
-Leonard: Well; uh... oh; uh; welcome to the building.
你看;“Papa Doc提示了;所以是太子港..
-Woman: Can I help you
需要我帮忙嘛
-Leonard: Yes. Um... is this the high-IQ sperm bank
是的..这里是高智商精子库嘛
-Woman: If you have to ask; maybe you shouldn't be here.
-Sheldon: Are you still mad about the sperm bank
你还在为精子库的事生气吗
-Leonard: No.
没..
-Sheldon: You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs
The big bang theory生活大爆炸第一季经典台词(绝对经典)
s01e02 The Big Bran Hypothesis1.普通级词汇dolly：n. 小轮搬运车,手推车fulcrum：n.(杠杆的)支点,支轴vortex：n. 漩涡,旋风entropy：n. 熵transvestite：n. 易装癖者immaculate：adj. 无缺点的,无瑕疵的evening gown：n. (通常带有拖地长裙的)女夜礼服insomnia：n.失眠unorthodox：adj. 非传统的,异端的sinus：n. 鼻窦sleep apnea：睡眠时呼吸暂停otolaryngologist：n. 耳鼻喉科医师proctologist：n. 直肠科医师pelvis：n. 骨盘Intoxicating：adj. 醉人的,使人兴奋的dowels：n.木钉,暗销infrared repeater：n. 红外线中继器photocell：n. 光电池aquarium pump：n. 潜水泵drip tray：n. 除霜水盘sluice：n. 水闸overflow reservoir：n. 蓄水池,储液器heat sink：n. 散热片junkyard：n. 废品旧货栈oxyacetylene torch：n. 氧乙炔炬2.爆炸级词汇Lois Lane：超人前女友Green Lantern：绿灯侠Mandelbrot set of complex numbers：芒德勃罗（Beno?t Mandelbrot，1924-），波兰几何学家，分形理论创始人。
Mandelbrot 集又被称为“数学恐龙”，对每一个C，让z0=0代入迭代式：f(z) = z*z + C,经足够多次迭代后函数值不扩散，这样的C所组成的集合为M集。
M集被认为是数学上最为复杂、最美丽的集合之一。
Oppenheimer：奥本海默,1945年带领“曼哈顿计划”洛斯·阿拉莫斯实验室全体科学家成功研制出世界上第一枚原子弹3.爆炸级食品pad thai：泰式炒面Vienna sausages：维也纳香肠Honey Puffs：一种低纤维麦片Big Bran：一种含有糠麸的高纤维麦片4.精选语录Raj: Are there any chopsticks?Sheldon: You don't need chopsticks. This is Thai food.Leonard: Here we go.Sheldon: Thailand has had the fork since the latter half of the 19th century. Interestingly they don't put the fork in their mouth, they use it toput the food on a spoon, which then goes into their mouth.Leonard: Ask him for a napkin, I dare you.听谢博士讲泰国餐具Leonard: Penny, wait.Penny: Yeah?Leonard: Um... If you don't have any other plans, do you want to join us for Thai food and a Superman movie marathon? Penny: A marathon? Wow, how many Superman movies are there?Sheldon: You're kidding, right?Penny: Yeah, I do like the one where Lois Lane falls from the helicopter and Superman swooshes down and catches her. Which one was that?All guys: One.我只看过超人一Sheldon: You realize that scene was rife with scientific inaccuracy.Penny: Yes, I know, men can't fly.Sheldon: No, no. Let's assume that they can. Hmm. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour, hits them and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.Leonard: Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.Sheldon: In what space, sir? In what space? She's 2 feet above the ground. Yeah, frankly, if he really loved her, he'd let her hit the pavement. It'd be a more merciful death.钢铁手臂三段式Leonard: I guess we'll just bring it up ourselves.Sheldon: I hardly think so.Leonard: Why not?Sheldon: Well, we don't have a dolly or lifting belts or any measurable upper-body strength.Leonard: We don't need strength. We're physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a fulcrum and a lever and I can move the Earth. It's just a matter... I don't have this. I don't have this! I don't have this.Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud.阿基米德的后代们Leonard: I'm not surprised. A well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break in your neighbor's apartment andclean.Sheldon: Sarcasm?Leonard: You think?Sheldon: Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox, but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to Penny's quality of life.Leonard: You know what, you convinced me. Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet.Sheldon: You don't think that crosses a line?Leonard: Yes. For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?Sheldon: You have a sarcasm sign?Leonard: No, I do not have a sarcasm sign.讽刺？Leonard: Uh. Here's the thing: ,Penny, just as Oppenheimer came to regret his contributions to the first atomic bomb, so too I regret my participation in what was, at the very least, an error in judgment. The hallmark of the great human experiment is the willingness to recognize one's mistakes. Some mistakes, such as Madam Curie's discovery of radium, turned out to have great scientific potential, even though she would later die a slow, painful death from radiation poisoning. Another example, from the field of Ebola research...Leonard的科学道歉5.地道表达swoop down：猛扑下straighten up：整理,整顿get out of your hair：不打扰了，get in one's hair 打扰某人per se：本质上,本身1. 普通级词汇frosty：adj. 下霜的,严寒的,冷淡的goblin：n. 恶鬼,小妖精prehensile：adj. 能抓住的，可握住的goggle：n. 护目镜pheromones：n.外激素spittle：n. 口水,唾液arousal：n. 激励,鼓励,唤醒asthma：n. 哮喘feline：adj. 猫科的n. 猫,猫科动物calicos：n. 白棉布,印花布cuddly：adj. 抱着很舒服地chisel：n. 凿子crescent shaped：新月形的Colonoscopy：n. 结肠镜检查chafing：n. [医]皮炎concussion：n. 脑震荡2.爆炸级词汇Azeroth：魔兽世界（WOW）里的艾泽拉斯oxygen iodine laser：氧碘化学激光器Asimov's three laws of robotics：美国著名科幻作家阿西莫夫（Isaac Asimov，1920-1992）在其“机器人”系列科幻作品中，提出“机器人学三定律”，为机器人建立了一套行为规范和道德准则，从而演绎出一系列推理性和逻辑性极强的漂亮故事。
生活大爆炸_第一季_剧本台词_中英文对照1-12
第一季12集The Jerusalem Duality----(耶路撒冷对偶)-Sheldon：Here's the problem with teleportation. 我给你讲讲隐形传物的问题吧。
-Leonard：Lay it on me. 讲吧。
-Sheldon：Assuming a device could be invented 假设可以发明一种仪器，Which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location 在一个地方把一个个体的量子态识别确认后，And transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, 把排列模式传送到另一地方重新组装， You would not have actually transported the individual. 你实际上并没真把该个体传送走，You would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another. 而是在一个地方将他摧毁再在另一个地方重新做出一个他。
-Leonard：How about that？ 那又如何？-Sheldon：Personally, I would never use a transporter, 我本人永远不会使用传送机，Because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon. 因为原来的Sheldon必须被分解,才能再做出一个新的Sheldon。
-Leonard：Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement onthe old Sheldon那新的Sheldon比旧的有什么改进吗？ -Sheldon：No, he would be exactly the same. 没有，他们完全一模一样。
生活大爆炸经典台词
⽣活⼤爆炸经典台词⽣活⼤爆炸经典台词 1、谢尔顿：剪⼑剪布，布包⽯头，⽯头砸死蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死史波克，史波克打碎剪⼑，剪⼑剪死蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃掉布，布否定史波克，史波克使⽯头蒸发，当然，⽯头砸碎剪⼑。
2、谢尔顿：我很清楚⼈类的繁殖⽅式，既脏乱⼜不卫⽣，⽽且跟你做了三年邻居，听了太多不必要⼜响亮的呼唤声。
彭妮(Penny)：天呐。
谢尔顿：对，就是这句。
3、谢尔顿：你为什么哭? 彭妮：因为我很笨。
谢尔顿：没有理由去哭啊。
⼀个⼈哭泣是因为其感到伤⼼难过。
⽐如，我哭是因为别⼈很笨，这使我很伤⼼。
4、拉什(Raj)：我不喜欢⾍⼦，好不?他们让我焦虑不安。
希尔顿：有趣，你害怕昆⾍和⼥⼈。
瓢⾍会让你患上强直性昏厥的。
5、谢尔顿：⼀点误会?伽利略和教皇倒是有点误会…… 6、啊，万有引⼒，你这⽆良的婊⼦! 7、我不是神经病，我妈妈带我去检查过。
8、谢尔顿：我泡了茶。
莱昂纳德(Leonard)：我不想喝茶。
谢尔顿：我不是为你泡茶，这是我的茶。
莱昂纳德：那你为什么告诉我? 谢尔顿：这是⼀次会话的开端。
莱昂纳德：那是⼀个糟糕的会话开端。
谢尔顿：哦，是吗?我们正在会话啊，将死你! 9、莱昂纳德：你在彭妮家做什么? 谢尔顿：嗯，我们⽤餐，玩游戏，接着我在那度过了⼀夜。
哦，你⼀定很⾼兴知道，我现在已经深⼊理解“异性朋友”了。
10、谢尔顿：喂，彭妮，……我知道你现在因为原始的⽣理欲望⽽值得的同情，但是如果你在你之前有⼀个终⽣的错误决定，我怎么可能打断呢? 11、莱昂纳德：谢尔顿，看在上帝的.份上，我每次开⼝说话的时候必须举起讽刺牌吗? 谢尔顿(好奇地)：你有⼀块讽刺牌? 12、谢尔顿：你尽管去试，但是你永远不会抓到我!Bazinga! 13、谢尔顿：莱昂纳德，你也许是对的。
似乎彭妮背地⾥想让你以亲密、⾁欲的⽅式出现在她的⽣活中。
莱昂纳德：你真的这么认为? 谢尔顿：当然不。
即使我睡眠不⾜，我照样胜利完成了我的经典恶作剧。
生活大爆炸第一季
⽣活⼤爆炸第⼀季⼝语笔记Big Bang Theory S01E011.What’s the protocol for leaving?该怎么（跟她）说（我们）要⾛呢？2.boarding school寄宿学校3.We live across the hall.我们住在你隔壁。
4.I think we should be good neighbors and invite her over,make her feel welcome.我觉得我们应该做个好邻居，请她做客，让她觉得亲切。
5.We need to widen our circle.我们得扩⼤下我们的朋友圈⼦。
6.I find that when I’m undergoing stress,the good food and company can have a comforting effect.我发现当我⾝⼼俱疲时，美⾷和伙伴能让我感觉很舒坦。
7.I’m no expert,but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation,you might want to skip the reference to bowel movement.这⽅⾯我不在⾏，不过我相信如果是邀请别⼈吃午餐，你最好不要说肠运动的事。
8.In the winter,that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm，and yet not so close as to cause perspiration.In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there.It faces the television at an angle.That is neither direct,thus discouraging conversation,nor so far wide as to creat parallax distortion.I could go on,but I think I’ve made my piont.在冬天，这个位置离暖⽓⽐较近，所以⽐较暖和，但也不⾄于太近以⾄于引起出汗。
生活大爆炸第一季(THE-BIG-BANG-THEROY-S01E03)字幕中英文对照打印版
-Leonard：Oh, right, right, right, right.
噢，对，对。
-Howard：Stealing snail mail- - very old school. I like it.
偷窃信箱，很老套的方法，我喜欢。
-Leonard：Penny, the mailman, did it again... he... oh, sorry.
该死，我们快不行了!
-Sheldon：Good - bye, peasants!
再见了，土人们!
-Leonard：The bastard teleported!
那混蛋走了!
-Raj：He's selling the sword of Asaroth on ebay.
他在ebay上出售那把艾辛诺斯之刃。
-Leonard：Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands.
战士们，拔出你们的武器，法师们，举起你们的魔杖。
-Sheldon：Lock and load.
准备好了。
-Howard：Raj, blow the gates.
Raj，推开大门。
-Raj：Blowing the gates.
推开大门。
Control, shift... b!
Control，Shift...B!
Oh, my god, so many goblins!
天啊，那么多地精!
-Howard：Don't just stand there, slash and move, slash and move!
生活大爆炸经典语录
生活大爆炸经典语录导读：1、s：我不需要那些不如我的人对我的肯定。
2、酒精加上她一时糊涂总有可能让今晚成为浪漫之夜。
3、S：如果那该死的死亡放射线能用我就不会挨打了。
4、谢耳朵说：晚安。
如果今晚是世界末日，祝你好运！5、我向来帮助弱者。
又一次证明了我就是蝙蝠侠在世。
6、说出来可能也没人信，我可能不是当男朋友的料。
7、谢耳朵：啊，地心引力，汝乃没心没肺之婊-子。
8、如果胡来才是正确的方法的话，那我闭嘴。
9、谢耳朵：我才没疯呢，我妈带我检查过。
10、你太善良了，这个世界会把你啃得尸骨无存。
11、依我看，你的所有问题都可以通过多挣点钱来解决。
12、如果那该死的死亡放射线能用我就不会挨打了。
13、p：你在忙什么？s：没空说话，专注模式中。
14、你正在跟西半球仅有的能跟得上你这思维的三人之一在说话。
15、p对l：靠，你的化妆品比我还多，而且还比我用的都高级。
16、我承认那个球形鸡的笑话还蛮有趣的，但从那以后就急转直下。
17、h：sheldon，你要知道你并没有那么多朋友可以留给你来侮辱。
18、S：普通的测试甚至无法准确地测量我的智商。
我还能更珍稀一点儿吗？19、你知道球馆里的球有多脏吗？其程度不亚于去街角帮人做免费的直肠体检。
20、你干嘛无视你妹妹？Sheldon：我不是无视她，我是无视你们所有人。
21、H：他卡壳多久了？L：智商上有30小时了，情商嘛，29年了。
22、S：你知道我是个聪明绝顶的人。
要是我出错了，我能不知道吗？23、s：你正在跟西半球仅有的能跟得上你这思维的三人之一在说话。
24、s：你确定以你飞蛾扑火的性格，你不会被我这熊熊的烈火所吸引吗？25、s：我是“聪明人”？要被归为“聪明人”我得去掉60点智商才行。
26、s：我怎么才能让他们不喜欢我呢？l：邀请他们跟我们一起住。
27、不可能会好了。
改变总是不是好的。
人们说改变是好事，事实才不是。
28、已经过九点了，这时候的帕萨迪纳街头到处是喝醉的水手和野猫。
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13[Howard]: Ooh, new more details about the new Star Trek film. There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth. [Raj]: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.[Sheldon]: Oh, please. For Vulcans, mating, or, if you will, Pon farr... it's an extremely private matter.[Leonard]: Still, I'd like to know the details, his mother was human, his father was Vulcan, they couldn't just conceive. [Howard]: Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's Dad in a little room w ith a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears?[Raj]: How come on Star Trek everybody's private parts are the same? No alien lady ever told Captain Kirk“Hey, get your thing out of my nose”.[Penny]: Hi. Can you help me? I was writing an e-mail and the “a” key got stuck, now it's just going…a aaah. [Leonard]: What'd you spill on it?[Penny]: Nothing. Diet Coke. And yogurt. And a little nail polish.[Leonard]: I'll take a look at it.[Howard]: Gentlemen, switching to local nerd news, Fishman, Chen, Chaudur y and McNair aren't fielding a team in the university Physics Bowl this year.[Leonard]: You're kidding. Why not?[Howard]: They formed a barbershop quartet and got a gig playing Knott's Berry Farm.[Penny]: Wow, so in your world, you're like the cool guys.[Howard]: Recognize.[Leonard]: This is our year, with those guys out, the entire Physics Bowl will kneel before Zod.[Penny]: Zod?[Howard]: Kryptonian villain, long story.[Raj]: Good story.[Sheldon]: Count me out.[Leonard]: What? Why?[Sheldon]: You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition? Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary?Would you ask Noah to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?[Leonard]: Come on, you need a four-person team. We're four people.[Sheldon]: By that reasoning we should also play Bridge, hold up a chuppah and enter the Olympic bobsled competition. [Penny]: Ha-ha, tickets to that, please.[Leonard]: Sheldon, what? Do I need to quote Spock's dying words to you?[Sheldon]: No, don't.[Leonard]: “The needs of the many...outweigh the needs of the few...”[Sheldon]: “…Or the one”. Damn it, I'll do it.[Raj]: Okay, first order of Physics Bowl business, we need a truly kick-ass team name. Suggestions?[Howard]: How about the Perpetual Motion Squad? It's beyond the laws of physics, plus a little heads-up for the ladies. [Leonard]: The ladies?[Howard]: Perpetual Motion Squad... we can go all night.[Raj]: I like it.[Sheldon]: I don't. Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidating one's opponent.[Raj]: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.[Sheldon]: Poor choice. Gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.[Raj]: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.[Leonard]: Let's put it to a vote, all those in favor...[Sheldon]: Point of order, I move that any vote on team names must be unanimous, no man should be forced to emblazon his chest with a Bengal tiger when common sense dictates it should be an army ant.[Leonard]: Will the gentleman from the great State of denial yield for a question?[Sheldon]: I will yield.[Leonard]: After we go through the exercise of an annoying series of votes, all of which the gentleman will lose, does he then intend to threaten to quit if he does not get his way?[Sheldon]: He does.[Leonard]: I move we are the Army Ants, all those in favor?[Penny]: Good afternoon, and welcome to today's Physics Bowl practice round. I'm Penny, and I'll be your host be cause apparently I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon, and isn't that just a little sad? Gentlemen, are you ready?[Leonard]: Of course.[Penny]: It's none of my business, but isn't a guy who can't speak in front of women going to hold you back a little? [Leonard]: Oh, he'll be okay once the women are mixed into the crowd, he only has a problem when they're one-on-one and smell nice.[Penny]: Oh, thanks, Raj, It's vanilla oil.[Leonard]: I was actually the one who noticed. Okay, let's just start.[Penny]: Okay, the first question is on the topic of optics. What is the shortest light pulse ever produced? Dr. Cooper! [Sheldon]: And of course, the answer is 130 attoseconds.[Penny]: That is correct.[Leonard]: I knew that too.[Penny]: Good for you, sweetie. Okay, next question. What is the quantum-mechanical effect used to encode data on hard-disk drives? Howard![Sheldon]: And of course, the answer is giant magnetoresistance.[Howard]: Hey, I buzzed in.[Sheldon]: And I answered, it's called teamwork.[Howard]: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.[Sheldon]: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.[Leonard]: Just ask another one.[Penny]: Okay. What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of Einstein's predicted frame dragging?[Sheldon]: And of course, it's Gravity Probe B.[Leonard]: Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer.[Sheldon]: Why?[Penny]: Because it's polite.[Sheldon]: What do manners have to do with it? This is war! Were the Romans polite when they salted the ground of Carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again?[Penny]: Leonard, you said I only had to ask questions.[Sheldon]: The objective of the competition is to give correct answers, if I know them, why shouldn't I give them? [Howard]: Some of us might have the correct answers, too.[Sheldon]: Oh, please, you don't even have a Ph.D.[Howard]: All right, that's it.[Leonard]: Howard, sit down. Maybe we should take a little break.[Sheldon]: Good idea, I need my wrist brace, all this button-pushing is aggravating my old Nintendo injury. [Howard]: I agree.[Penny]: What did he say?[Raj]: He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve. [Sheldon]: Leonard, excellent, I wanna show you something.[Leonard]: Can it wait? I need to talk to you.[Sheldon]: Just look, I've designed the perfect uniforms for our team. The colors are based on Star Trek, the Original Series, the three of you will wear support red, and I will wear command gold.[Leonard]: Why do they say “AA”?[Sheldon]: Army Ants.[Leonard]: Isn't that confusing? AA might mean something else to certain people.[Sheldon]: Why would a Physics Bowl team be called Anodized Aluminum?[Leonard]: No, I meant... Never mind. Hey, check it out, I got you a Batman cookie jar.[Sheldon]: Oh, neat! What's the occasion?[Leonard]: Well, you're a friend, and you like Batman and cookies, and you're off the team.[Sheldon]: What?[Leonard]: Howard, Raj and I just had a team meeting.[Sheldon]: No, you didn't.[Leonard]: Y es, we did. I just came from there.[Sheldon]: Okay, I don't know where you just came from, but it couldn’t have been a team meeting because I wasn't there.Ergo, the team did not meet.[Leonard]: Okay, let me try it this way. I was at a coffee klatch with a couple of friends, and one thing led to another, and it turns out you're off the team.[Sheldon]: Why?[Leonard]: Because you're taking all the fun out of it.[Sheldon]: I'm sorry, is the winner of the Physics Bowl the team that has the most fun?[Leonard]: Okay, let me try it this way. You're annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore.[Sheldon]: I see. Well, at this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.[Leonard]: Thanks for the heads up.[Sheldon]: You're welcome. One more thing. It's on, bitch.[Howard]: So who did he get to be on his team?[Leonard]: He won't say. He just smiles and eats macaroons out of his Bat-Jar.[Raj]: He's using psychological warfare, we must reply in kind. I say we wait until he looks at us, then laugh like “Y es, you are a smart and strong competitor, but we are also smart and strong, and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you.[Leonard]: How exactly would that laugh go?[Raj]: Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee![Howard]: That sounds more like “We are a tall, thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians. [Leonard]: Guys, let's remember that Sheldon is still our friend and my roommate.[Howard]: So?[Leonard]: So nothing. Let's destroy him.[Howard]: Okay, we're going to need a strong fourth for our team.[Raj]: Y ou know who is apparently very smart is the girl who played TV's Blossom, she got a PhD in neuroscience or something.[Leonard]: Raj, we're not getting TV's Blossom to join our Physics Bowl team.[Raj]: How about the girl from The Wonder Y ears?[Howard]: Gentlemen, I believe I've found the solution to all our problems.[Leonard]: We can't ask Leslie Winkle.[Raj]: Why? Because you slept together, and when she was done with you she discarded you like last night's chutney? [Howard]: Sometimes you’ve got to take one for the team.[Raj]: Y eah. Sack up, dude.[Leonard]: Fine. Here I go, taking one for the team... in the sack. Hey, Leslie, I have a question for you, and it might be a little awkward, you know, given that I...[Leslie]: Leonard, there's no reason to feel uncomfortable just because we've seen each other's faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus.[Leonard]: There's not? Gee, cause it sure sounds like there should be.[Leslie]: Rest assured that any aspects of our sexual relationship regarding your preferences, your idiosyncrasies, your performance are still protected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom.[Leonard]: That's all very comforting, but if it's okay, I'd like to get on to my question now.[Leslie]: Proceed.[Leonard]: We are entering the Physics Bowl, and we need a fourth for our team.[Leslie]: No, thanks. I'm really busy with my like-sign dilepton supersymmetry search.[Howard]: Dilepton, shmylepton. We need you.[Leslie]: Sorry.[Howard]: Well, we tried, we'll just have to face Sheldon mano y mano y mano a mano.[Leslie]: Wait, you're going up against Sheldon Cooper? That arrogant, misogynistic, East Texas doorknob that told me I should abandon my work with high-energy particles for laundry and childbearing?[Leonard]: She's in.[Penny]: So, how do you feel? Nice and loose? Come to play? Got your game face on? Are you ready?[Leonard]: Y eah. Y ou know, you don't have to stay for the whole thing.[Penny]: Oh, no, no, I want to, sounds really interesting. I'm just gonna sit down.[Leonard]: So, is that your team?[Sheldon]: Actually, I don't need a team, I could easily defeat you single-handedly, but the rules require four, so may I introduce the third-floor janitor, the lady from the lunch room, and my Spanish is not good, either her son or her butcher. And what about your team? What rat have you recruited to the S.S. Sinking Ship?[Leslie]: Hello, Sheldon.[Sheldon]: Leslie Winkle.[Leslie]: Y eah, Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question “Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl”? [Sheldon]: Y es. Well, I'm polymerized tree sap, and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you. [Leslie]: Oh, ouch![Gablehauser]: Okay, if everyone could please take your seats.[Leonard]: Here's your T-shirt.[Leslie]: PMS? It's a couple days early.[Leonard]: No, it stands for Perpetual Motion Squad.[Leslie]: Oh, right, of course. What was I thinking?[Gablehauser]: Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to this year's Physics Bowl. Today's preliminary match features two great teams: AA versus... PMS.[Howard]: All night long, y'all.[Gablehauser]: Okay, well, let's jump right in, first question, for 10 points. What is the iso-spin singlet partner of the pi-zero meson? PMS![Leonard]: The eta meson.[Gablehauser]: Correct.[Sheldon]: Formal protest.[Gablehauser]: On what grounds?[Sheldon]: The Velcro on my wrist brace caught on my shirt.[Gablehauser]: Denied. All right, for 10 points. What is the lightest element on Earth with no stable isotope? AA![Sheldon]: And, of course, the answer is technetium.[Gablehauser]: Terrific. Next question. What is the force between two uncharged plates due to quantum vacuum fluctuations? PMS![Raj]: And Sheldon can suck on... the Casimir effect.[Gablehauser]: Correct. How does a quantum computer factor large numbers? PMS![Leslie]: Shor's algorithm.[Gablehauser]: Correct.[Howard]: Seven hundred and sixty degrees Celsius, the approximate temperature of the young lady in the front row. [Gablehauser]: Mr. Wolowitz, this is your second warning.[Leslie]: Y es, assuming the hypothetical planet has a mass greater than the Earth.[Gablehauser]: Correct. Ladies and gentlemen, I hold in my hand the final question. The score now stands: AA 1150, PMS 1175. So, for 100 points and the match, please turn your attention to the formula on the screens,solve the equation.[Raj]: Holy crap.[Leonard]: What the hell is that?[Howard]: Looks like something they found on the ship at Roswell.[Leonard]: Come on, think. Leslie?[Leslie]: Leonard, it's not gonna work if you rush me, you have to let me get there.[Leonard]: You're never gonna let that go, are you?[Gablehauser]: Ten seconds. PMS![Leonard]: Sorry, I panicked.[Howard]: Then guess.[Leonard]: Um... Eight point four.[Gablehauser]: I'm sorry, that's incorrect. AA, if you can answer correctly, the match is yours.[Howard]: He doesn't have it. He's got squat.[Gablehauser]: AA, I need your answer.[Man]: The answer is minus eight pi alpha.[Sheldon]: Hang on, hang on a second. That's not our answer, what are you doing?[Man]: Answering question, winning Physics Bowl.[Sheldon]: How do you know anything about physics?[Man]: Here I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist. Leningrad Politechnika. Go, Polar Bears.[Sheldon]: Well, that's a delightful little story, but our arrangement was that you sit here and not say anything, I answer the questions.[Man]: You didn't answer question.[Sheldon]: Hey, look, now, maybe you have democracy now in your beloved Russia, but on this Physics Bowl team, I rule with an iron fist.[Gablehauser]: AA, I need your official answer.[Sheldon]: Well, it's not what he said.[Gablehauser]: Then what is it?[Sheldon]: I want a different question.[Gablehauser]: Y ou can't have a different question.[Sheldon]: Formal protest.[Gablehauser]: Denied.[Sheldon]: Informal protest.[Gablehauser]: Denied. I need your official answer.[Sheldon]: No. I decline to provide one.[Gablehauser]: Well, that's too bad because the answer your teammate gave was correct.[Sheldon]: That's your opinion.[Gablehauser]: All right, the winner of the match is...[Leonard]: Hang on. Sheldon, is proving that you are single-handedly smarter than everyone else so important that you would rather lose by yourself than win as part of a team?[Sheldon]: I don't understand the question.[Leonard]: Go ahead.[Gablehauser]: The winner is PMS.[Leonard]: Sorry, somebody's sitting there.[Sheldon]: Who?[Leonard]: My Physics Bowl trophy.[Sheldon]: That trophy is meaningless. I forfeited, therefore you did not win.[Leonard]: I know someone who would disagree.[Sheldon]: Who?[Leonard]: My Physics Bowl trophy, “Leonard is so smart. Sheldon who?[Sheldon]: All right, that is very immature.[Leonard]: You're right. I'm sorry. I'm not![Penny]: Okay, new contest.[Leonard]: What are you doing?[Penny]: I am settling once and for all who is the smartest around here, okay? Are you ready?[Sheldon]: Absolutely.[Leonard]: Bring it on.[Penny]: Okay. “Marsha, Jan and Cindy were the th ree daughters in what TV family”? The Brady Bunch.Okay. “Sammy Hagar replaced David Lee Roth a s the lead singer in what group”?[Sheldon]: The Brady Bunch?[Penny]: Van Halen. All right, “Madonna was married to this Ridgemont High alum”? Oh, my God! Sean Penn! [Leonard]: How do you know these things?[Penny]: I go outside and I talk to people. Okay, here, “What actor holds the record for being named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive?"[Sheldon]: William Shatner.[Leonard]: Wait. I don't think it's Shatner.[Sheldon]: Then it's got to be Patrick Stewart.[Penny]: No.[Sheldon]: Formal protest.[Penny]: All right, “Singer who sang “Oops!...I Did It Again”? Okay, “Tweety Bird taught he taw a what”?[Sheldon]: Romulan.[Penny]: Y es. He taught he taw a Romulan.----------------- THE END ------------------。