不轻易拿孩子与别人比较

不轻易拿孩子与别人比较父母正确引导孩子，不盲目指责他。

比如：宝宝到了用餐时间，不乖乖就餐，反而喜欢一边看卡通片一边吃饭案例：小雨今年五岁了，平时是个乖巧可爱的孩子，可就是特别喜欢和别人比较。

和小朋友一块儿玩游戏，我将小卡片作为游戏奖赏分发给他们，可他看见别的小朋友卡片比他多，就变得不高兴了，还不自由主的掉眼泪，大人说上一句：“好了，大伙儿一块儿玩！”他便号啕大哭。

如果见到别人的画比他画得好，他也会立马把那个小朋友的画撕得粉碎，然后还嘟哝一句：“看你还画得比我好！”其实，孩子在3岁左右，已经出现爱比较的心态。

对于过分追求完美主义的孩子来说，他们的眼里经常会容不得一粒沙子，如果发现别人在其他方面比自己做得好时，会产生一种气恼、委屈、疑惑和愤恨的态度情绪，不肯容纳别人优点。

如果不能及时引导，对孩子的身心健康将有害无益。

作为家长，需要做到：1、引导孩子接纳自己的缺点并欣赏他人优点每个人都像一块银币，拥有了优点同时也存在了缺点。

孩子也不例外，大人也应该保持一颗包容的心去接受孩子的缺点，不要因为孩子的缺点而去过度指责他，这样只会让孩子更加不愿意正视自己的缺点。

那么要如何让孩子接纳自己的缺点呢？父母正确引导孩子，不盲目指责他。

比如：宝宝到了用餐时间，不乖乖就餐，反而喜欢一边看卡通片一边吃饭。

妈妈会特别烦恼，无论自己怎么批评他，还是不见效果。

这时，妈妈可以用聊天的方式告诉宝宝“老师与妈妈都觉得宝宝是个好孩子，和同学们相处得很好，对老师又有礼貌。

但有一点让妈妈很不满意”，通过先给孩子带“高帽子”，让孩子知道自己也有优点。

再引导孩子去思考，自己的哪些做法是错误的。

告诉孩子“只要改正了这些缺点，妈妈和老师都会觉得宝宝是个非常听话乖巧的孩子。

”认同比批评更能让孩子去接纳自己的错误。

学会欣赏他人，就如建立友谊高峰的一块踏脚石。

常常听到宝宝抱怨他的小伙伴不好。

作为一名家长，先不要一口否定孩子的观点。

而是试着去理解下孩子的说法，并且告诉他人无完人，小伙伴身上固然有缺点，但也有很多优点啊！妈妈还可以与孩子一起回忆，看看小伙伴都有哪些优点，比如帮助老师抹桌子，演讲故事很出色等。

在妈妈的帮助下，孩子更能发现他人的优点，学会欣赏别人与包容他人。

2、把孩子爱比较的心转化为进步的动力爱比较的孩子一般都爱争强好胜。

作为家长，应抓住孩子的心理特征，尽量利用这种竞争意识去调动他们不动怒不生气的积极性，把孩子原本爱比较的妒忌心转化为进去的动力。

以上述例子来讲，同桌长期受到老师的表扬，妈妈可以和琪琪一起来探讨，为什么同桌这么受老师的认可呢？原来，是因为同桌各方面表现都很好。

她会乖乖听老师的安排，认真完成作业，上课积极回答问题，而且各方面都很优秀，不仅功课做得很好，还有很多文艺才敢。

所以老师才经常表扬同桌。

妈妈接下来可以问琪琪，要怎么样才能像同桌一样备受老师肯定呢？相信孩子在妈妈的启发下，会很快明白，只要自己也能做到像同桌一样优秀，甚至做到比她更加优秀，老师也会给予肯定的。

3、不轻易拿孩子与别人比较经常会看到，很多父母大声责骂自家的孩子，“你看自己，一点都不听话”“”你看谁家的小孩，跟你一样大，人家又聪明，又听话，为什么你自己就那么不争气呢？“其实，父母的这种教育方式，看似好心，却容易让孩子产生自卑和挫败感，影响孩子的自信心。

其实，孩子的观察能力是很强的，即使没有大人把他们与别人进行比较，他们也会不由自主地把自身和其他孩子进行比较。

他们也有自己的认知和评价系统。

如果这个时候，家长再拿孩子跟别人进行比较，无疑就会雪上加霜。

作为父母，如何正确的教育孩子，是一件非常重要的事情。

拿自己的孩子和别的孩子对比，这种教育方式普遍存在。

在社会心理学家看来，和别人对比，在一个人心理成长过程中，具有两种重要的功能：第一是认识自己，每个人的成长都是在与其他人的交往过程中认识自己的，因此，每个人都是以他人作为目标。

第二是，确立目标。

人都是与别人的对比的过程里，找到自己正确的人生目标、理想与努力的方向。

但是对孩子来说，在与人对比的过程中，如果出现不好或者不合理的情况，容易对孩子的心理造成伤害。

作为父母，也要学会欣赏自己家的孩子，学会赏识他们的优点，才能让他们获得进步；即便孩子有了缺点，也不要和别人对比来促进他改正，相反，抱着公正的态度，客观的告诉孩子，反而会让他获得进步。

其实，每个人都有着自己的天赋，有着各人不同的性格，如果父母一心只想着攀比，只看到自己孩子的短处，忽视自己孩子的长处，便容易造成孩子性格上的不足，缺少自信，父母要如何正确对待呢，有以下几点建议：第一：教会孩子反问自己，正确认识自己我现在各方面怎样了？自己有什么优点？自己有什么缺点的？相比以前自己有什么进步？有什么是退步的？自己要如何的处理？是否多听父母和老师的意见？第二：用欣赏的心态对待孩子父母要以身作则，要用欣赏的眼光看待孩子，教会孩子去发现别人的长处，发现自己的短处，再加以学习，以长补短，真诚的去赞赏别人。

第三：承认孩子在家长心目中永远最好的孩子通过与别人的比较，他们会逐步建立起自己的参照系，确定自己的位置。

这种比较也是认识自我的途径，通过了解自己的优势，最后转化成为自己前进的动力。

如果孩子在比较中，经常不满足于自己的位置，但是又暂时不知道怎样超越别人，那么很就容易对那些他们认为“比自己漂亮”、“比自己聪明”的小朋友产生嫉妒的心理。

而家长的适当肯定，则是对孩子的最好鼓励。

Correctly guide the children, parents don't blindly blame him. Such as: the baby to the meal time, eating obediently, but like to watch cartoons while eatingCase: light rain this year at the age of five, at ordinary times is a cute child, but particularly like to compare with others. And children play together, I will be small card distributed to them, as a reward gameMore than him, he saw other children card becomes unhappy, is not free Lord tears, adults say: "good, we together play!" He howled. If meet someonePaintings better than his paintings, he will immediately put the children's painting to shreds, and then murmured: "see you is better than me!"In fact, in about 3 years old children, have love is state of mind. For a child too much pursuit of perfection, their eyes often can not tolerate a grain of sand, if found in other ways than othersYou do well, will produce a kind of annoyed, injustice, doubt and resentment attitude, refused to accommodate others. If not timely guidance, to the child's physical and mental health will be more harm than good. As a parent, you need to do:1, guide the children to accept your faults and appreciate othersEveryone is like a piece of silver COINS, has the advantage also exists shortcomings. Children is not exceptional also, adults also should keep a tolerant heart to accept the child's shortcomings, don't because of shortcomings in the children have been toAccused him, will only make them more reluctant to face up to your weaknesses.How to let the children accept your shortcomings?Correctly guide the children, parents don't blindly blame him. Such as: the baby to the meal time, eating obediently, but like to watch cartoons while eating. Mother will be particularly upset, no matter what their criticismHe did not effect. At this time, the mother can use the chat way to tell the baby "the teacher and mother all feel the baby is a good boy, and students get along well with each other, polite to the teacher again. But one thingLet mother very dissatisfied ", through the first to bring children a "top hat", let the child know they also have advantages. And lead children to think, what is wrong. Tell their children "as long as correctThese shortcomings, the mother and the teacher will feel baby is a very obedient clever boy. "Identity than criticism can let more children to admit his mistakes.Learn to appreciate others, like friendship peak a stepping stone. Often hear the baby complaining about his friend. As a parent, don't deny children's point of view. But try to understandThe child, and told him that no one is perfect, friend is flawed, but also has many benefits! Mom can also memories together with the child, and see what friend of advantages, such as helpHelp the teacher MaZhuoZi, speech story very well. With the help of the mother, children are more likely to find the good in people, learn to appreciate others and tolerant of others.2, and the love of the comparison the boy into the power of progressLove more children are generally competitive. Should seize the psychological characteristics of children, as parents try to take advantage of the competitive consciousness to arouse the enthusiasm of the Chinese they don't angry don't angry, the child was loveJealousy into account. In the above example, sit at the same table was praised by the teacher for a long time, mother can to discuss with kiki, why sit at the same table so approved by the teacher?Originally, because sit at the same table is very good in many ways. She will listen to the teacher's arrangement, finish the homework carefully, actively in class to answer questions, and all aspects are excellent, homework done well not only, still haveA lot of literature and art will dare to. So teachers often praise deskmate. Mom can ask kiki, next to how like a table by teacher is sure? Believe that children under the mother inspired, Ming soonWhite, as long as oneself also can do like deskmate good, even do better than her, the teacher will give affirmation.3, it is not easily compare children with othersOften see, many parents loudly scold their children, "you see yourself, don't obedient", "" you see young children, like you, she is clever, and obedient, why is your ownJust a little? "In fact, the parents of this kind of education mode, looks good, but easy to let children produce inferiority and frustration, affect a child's confidence. In fact, the child's observation ability is very strong, even if there is no adult to compare them with others, they will spontaneously to compare itself with other children. They have their own cognitive and evaluation system. If this time, parents againTake children compared with others, will be a further stinging blow.As a parent, how to correct the education of children, it is a very important thing. Compared with children of their own and other children, this way of education is widespread. In view, a social psychologist and othersThan that in the process of a personal psychological growth, has two important functions: the first is to know yourself, are in the growth of each individual know yourself in the process of interaction with others, so everyone isAs the target to others. The second is that the set goals. Are compared with others in the process of find your goal in life, right ideal and effort direction. But for children, in comparison with othersIn the process, if there is a bad or unreasonable situation, easy to cause harm to the child's psychological.As parents, also want to learn to appreciate their children, learn to appreciate their advantages, can let them get progress; Even if the child had shortcomings, also don't compare with others to promote him to correct, on the contrary,Tell the children holding the manner which fair, objective, will let him get progress.In fact, everyone has their own talent, has a different personality, if parents wanted to compare, only to see their child's shortcomings, ignore their children's strengths, is likely to cause childrenCharacter is insufficient, lack of self-confidence, parents should how to treat correctly, have the following Suggestions:The first: teach children to ask themselves, correct view of oneselfI'm all aspects of how to now? What are the advantages? What are the disadvantages of themselves? Than before you have what progress? What is back? How to deal with? Whether to listen to their parents and teachersFor advice?Second: to treat children with appreciation mentalityParents should set a good example for the appreciation view of children, teach children to discover the strengths of others, found his own shortcomings, to learn, to long for short, sincere to praise others.Third: admit children in parents considered the best foreverChildren compared with others, they will gradually establish their own frame of reference, to determine their position. This kind of comparison is also the way of knowing self, by understanding its own advantages, finally converted to sinceSelf motivation. If a child in the comparison, often not content with their own position, but don't know how to transcend others temporarily, so very easy for those who they think "more beautiful than his," "Children are smarter than their "jealous psychology. And parents must be appropriately, is the best encouragement for children.。