英语幽默短剧剧本
英语三人短剧--搞笑
顾客: 小心, 你的大拇指在我汤里了服务员: 别担心, 先生, 不是很烫！A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak? (What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again?服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:) Two teas.Which one asked for the clean glass?创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。
服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？看起来象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
英文搞笑小话剧短篇带翻译
丹尼斯：好吧，神秘解开了！我猜我们现在都可以回到自己的宁静晚上了。
(They all chuckle and head back downstairs)
第三幕：神秘的噪音案
Characters:
角色：
Emma - a curious woman who can't stand strange noises
艾玛 - 一个好奇的女子，无法忍受奇怪的噪音
Dennis - Emma's nosy neighbor who loves to investigate
（他们一起上了楼，敲响了吵闹邻居的门）
Jane: (opening the door) Oh, hi there! Sorry about the noise. We were just doing some home workout videos. Jumping jacks can be quite loud, huh?
艾玛：太荒谬了！每次我洗衣服，我的几只袜子就神秘失踪了。就好像它们长了腿一样走了。
(Just then, their cat, Whiskers, enters the room with a sock in its mouth)
（就在这时，他们的猫，威克斯，带着一只袜子进了房间）
Tom: Well, I think we've found the culprit. Looks like Whiskers has been hoarding our socks!
丹尼斯：好吧，神秘解开了！我猜我们现在都可以回到自己的宁静晚上了。
英语戏剧·有趣英语小短剧
英语短剧六（3）班刘靖怡开场前四人在幕前介绍自己：A：乞丐 A: Hello, I am a beggar.【乞丐：你好，我是一个乞丐。
】B：商人 B: Hello, I am a businessman.【商人：你好，我是一个商人。
】E：椅子 E: Hello, I am a chair.【椅子：你好，我是一把椅子。
】F：记者 F: Hello, I am a reporter.【记者：你好，我是个记者。
】剧本正文：A: Sir ,sir ！Please give me a piece of bread. I am hungry to die. 【A：先生，先生！请给我一片面包。
我快饿死了。
】B: Get away, get away, dirty man.【B：走开，走开，肮脏的人。
】A: But…sir…Please listen to me！【A：但是…先生的…请听我说！】E: Oh，Man are always very tired.【E：唉，男人总是很烦。
】E: Sir! You lost your wallet! You can be a little smarter? 【E：先生！你丢了钱包！你能聪明一点吗？】F: Good morning, everybody. I saw a very weird thing——a chair opens its mouth. Now, I will interview the two Witness.【F：早上好，各位。
我看到了一个非常奇怪的事情——一把椅子说话了。
现在，我将采访两个目击者。
】B: The chair can speak! Strange happenings！Strange happenings! (胡言乱语)【B：这椅子能说话！怪事！怪事！】F: I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad. We needn't take notice of him. Let me interview the other man. “Hello, sir. Can you tell man why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet?【F：我很抱歉的告诉你，这个男人已经疯了。
英语幽默短剧剧本
英语幽默短剧剧本篇一：两个英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket MoneyScene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu ……He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!另一个白雪公主与七个小矮人Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.篇二：搞笑英语话剧剧本搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
搞笑英文话剧剧本
搞笑英文话剧剧本演话剧咱们也可以少了剧本呢？为了方便大家表演，带来了搞笑英文话剧剧本，请看：搞笑英文话剧剧本英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket MoneyScene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!另一个白雪公主与七个小矮人Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.搞笑英文话剧剧本Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景Scene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）Wow, everything is ready!糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)Scene2（At the school gate）N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!M: Let’s ask him.A: OK!C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）MA: Why?C: I’m dirty！M: No, you look nice!C: What can I do? (面对观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）MA: How much are they?S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）MA: Money?(对视)M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）A: Me too.S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)M: What can we do now?A: Let’s ask dad for money.M: But how to ask?A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）M: Good idea!(全部下场)Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)A: And play the guitar for us!M: We know you play so well!(爸爸惊诧地看着孩子)D: Oh? What a bright day today!MA: Please, dad!(哀求)D:OKOK! Let’s.(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?MA: Of course!(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。
搞笑英语话剧剧本带翻译
《The Unlucky Day》
角色：汤姆、丽莎、布朗先生（汤姆的老板）、詹姆斯（汤姆的朋友）
场景1
（汤姆准备上班。他不小心把咖啡洒在衬衫上。）
汤姆：哎呀！今天真是倒霉！首先，我把脚趾碰在桌子上，现在又把衬衫弄脏了。
场景2
（汤姆到达办公室。布朗先生走了进来。）
布朗先生：汤姆，我需要那些报告在今天中午之前交上来。它们非常重要。
Scene 5
(Tom finally finishes the reports and hands them to Mr. Brown.)
Mr. Brown: Tom, these reports are full of mistakes. You need to redo them immediately.
Mr. Brown: Tom, I need those reports by noon today. They're very important.
Tom: Yes, Mr. Brown. I'll get them to you as soon as possible.
Scene 3
(Tom goes to the copy machine to make copies of the reports. The machine suddenly breaks down.)
汤姆：谢谢你邀请我，丽莎。这绝对改变了我的今天。
丽莎：我很高兴你玩得开心。也许你的运气正在改变呢！
结局
以上剧本是一部简短的搞笑英语话剧，通过汤姆一系列倒霉的事情和最后的转机，向观众传递了积极的情绪。学生们可以通过这样的戏剧形式，轻松愉快地学习英语，提高他们的表演能力和口语表达能力。希望这个剧本能够为英语教学和学生表演活动提供一些启发和帮助。
搞笑七分钟英语短剧剧本
搞笑七分钟英语短剧剧本陈:Hello, everyone, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director--R Z. Recently, I will direct a new movie, today, there will be an audition and I will select three actors to perform in this film. OK, let's begin. The first part, talent show, let's welcome actor number one.陈:大家好，你们看过吗？是的，我是这部电影的导演R Z。
最近我要导演一部新的电影。
今天在这里将举行一场面试，我要选出三位演员来拍摄这部电影。
好的，接下来就开始面试的第一个环节，才艺表演，让我们欢迎第一位面试者。
杨: I t’s so easy for me to get this character. (面朝观众说) Nice to meet you, my dear director. 杨:我一定能轻而易举地拿到这个角色。
(边走边朝观众说)很高兴见到你，亲爱的导演。
陈:Nice to meet you too, so, introduce yourself.陈:很高兴见到你，那么请介绍一下你自己吧。
杨:I'm CK Yang, you know. I don't have too many achievements, I just won six World Music Awards, eight American Music Awards, and…(做沉思状) oh, I forgot, two Oscar Awards, it's just a piece of cake for me, you know, I...杨:我是CK 杨，你知道的，我也没有太多的成就，我仅仅拿了6次世界音乐奖，8次全美音乐奖，对了，差点忘了这个，还有二次奥斯卡奖，这对我来说不过是小意思，你们知道的，我。
英语搞笑话剧剧本
英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：搞笑小学英语小品剧本搞笑小学英语小品剧本人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle , I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。
树站回后台] 兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走][农夫跟在兔子后面。
两个人走啊走。
兔子突然回头。
农夫假装看手表。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
农夫假装看天气。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
英语私人小品剧本六篇
英语私人小品剧本六篇Little Red Riding Hood第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?Mum：（一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!Mum：（亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.第二场：在路上(一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.Wolf：（wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地答复)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill. Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eatGrandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks.Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）Little Red Riding Hood：（停顿跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you? Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.Six Ducks：Goodbye．第三场：Grandma家Grandma：（喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。
大学生英语幽默短剧剧本_0
大学生英语幽默短剧剧本篇一：英语搞笑短剧剧本三打白骨精Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B 变化成的老头 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,Iwill ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a ,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡) S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）J: boss, brother Monkey is.......T: Don’t mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I’ll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can’t understand......What happened?S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey’s intuition(直觉)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I’m sorry(小声) S: What?T: I’m sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）（这个放伴奏） (谢幕)篇二：孔雀东南飞--英语搞笑短剧剧本焦仲卿johnny(j for short)刘兰芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)刘母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)强盗burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
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[标签:标题]篇一：搞笑英语话剧剧本搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:, Never mind baby.X:Excuse me，who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please……Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks,Y:Do you still want to kill me ?X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1! X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit（一人路过，x起身跑过去）X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见花满楼)Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC”.H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y:You are right !H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!第二幕：无间道H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y）this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?King:yes,I will.Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……Y:of course.美女出场M:hello，帅锅..K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X:Forgive you? Why ?Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “I love you ”, If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X:milk?I love you.K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)K:Fuck you. I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha……Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）Y :do you want to go to wc?X:Yes,I……I……do.Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺beyond standards.M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you —you—You are X’lover?Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X:go home ! ?M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.M I promise . I will never let go（X死）,M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !篇二：搞笑小学英语小品剧本搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。