初中英语短笑话
英语小笑话适合初一的
英语小笑话适合初一的笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。
小编精心收集了适合初一的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!适合初一的英语小笑话篇1白痴老师If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂，先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。
”适合初一的英语小笑话篇2交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
点了两份饮料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned服务生感到相当不妥，and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"就走过去告诉他们：“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”The attorneys looked each other ,这两位律师彼此。
适合初中学生的英语笑话
适合初中学生的英语笑话从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的调剂品,它使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。
本文是适合初中学生的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!适合初中学生的英语笑话篇一WomenA Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject ofWOMAN came up in their conversation.The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,Mr Singh?The Italian asked.In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & play the back.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇二Bill GatesBill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do somethingI've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.""Fine, but where should I go first?""I'll leave that up to you.""Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."So Bill went to Hell.It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased."This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!""Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision."Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons."How's everything going?" he asked Bill.Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇三CoincidenceA man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple martini. The bartender says "What a coincidence, the only other person at the bar is that beautiful woman at the other end. She is also drinking triple martinis".After a few sips of his drink, the man walks up to the woman and says, "Isn't it a coincidence that we are both having the same drink".She replies "Yes! I am here because I am celebrating. After 20 years of trying I am finally pregnant!""What a coincidence" the man replied. "I am also celebrating.After years of experimenting, I have invented a multicolored chicken. At this, the woman asked "How did you ever accomplish that!?"."I had to try a lot of different cocks" he said. The woman replied"What a coincidence"适合初中学生的英语笑话篇四son-in-lawA 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother."Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room shaking her head.The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator."What the hell are you doing he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I'm 40 years old now and I'm ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game onTV. "What on Earth are you doing?" she cried.The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the football game with my son-in-law!!"。
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
本文是关于初中的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇一How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。
“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。
”老板狐疑地看着他。
“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。
”关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇二Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."三个外科医生三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。
初中英语笑话
1.Oncetwohunterswenthuntingintheforest.Oneofthem suddenlyfelldownbyaccident.Heshowedthewhitesofhiseyesandseemedtohavec easedbreathing.Theotherhuntersoontookouthis mobilephonetocalltheemergencycenterforhelp.Theoperatorsaidcalmly:"Fir st,youshouldmakesurethatheisalreadydead."Thentheoperatorheardagunshot fromtheotherendofthephoneandnextheheardthehunterasking:"WhatshouldIdo next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”2.Letmetakeitdown Anelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethesmallestznd mostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen.""Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."Iwilltella fleawhatIknow."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。
”老鼠说。
“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3.WateringFlowerInRainTom:Whydoyouhavethatwateringcan?Dan:I'mgoingtowatertheflowers.Tom:Butit'draining.Dan:That'sOK.I'mwear-ingmyraincoat.雨天浇花汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？丹：我要去浇花。
初中英语小笑话及翻译
初中英语小笑话及翻译笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。
店铺整理了初中英语小笑话及翻译，欢迎阅读!初中英语小笑话及翻译篇一After 20 years as a pilot，I became an airport manager and soon found the stress was getting to me. I needed a release and wanted to buy a motorcycle，but my family thought it was too dangerous. My wife said，”Why don't you start flying again?"开了20多年的飞机后，我被提升为机场经理。
但不久我就感到了这项工作的压力。
为了放松一下，我想买辆摩托车骑。
可家里人说那太危险。
我妻子还说:“你为什么不继续去开飞机?”The next day，as I showed a businessman around the airport，he looked longingly at the planes. "I used to take flying lessons，but my wife made me quit," he lamented."She said it was dangerous.”第二天，我陪同一个商人参观机场，他紧紧地盯着那些飞机说:“我曾上过飞机课，但我妻子却让我放弃它。
”那商人愤愤地说:“她说那太危险。
”"Tell her you want to get a motorcycle，"I advised. My new-found friend now has his pilot's license.“那你就跟她说你想开摩托车。
[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中
![[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/348ddb3030126edb6f1aff00bed5b9f3f90f72d6.png)
[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中简短的英语笑话带翻译篇1A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:有一名男子正走在街上的时候听到一个声音：“Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."“停!站住不要动瞅口果你再走一步，就会有一个砖块掉到你的头上砸死你。
”The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.这名男子停住了，一个大砖块就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .这名男子非常惊讶。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.他继续向前走：不久后，他要穿越马路。
Once again the voice shouted;那个声音再次叫说：Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."“停!站住不要动，如果你再走一步，就会有一辆汽车辗过你，你就会死掉。
”The man did as he was instructed,这名男子因为曾被指示过，所以就照着做，just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.此时正好有一辆汽车左摇右晃地冲过转角处，差一点撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "这名男子问说：“你在哪里?你是谁?”"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.这个声音回答说：“我是你的守护天使。
初中英文小笑话及翻译
初中英文小笑话及翻译前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
小编精心收集了初中英文小笑话及翻译，供大家欣赏学习!初中英文小笑话及翻译篇1相同的投资相同的结果A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。
两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。
你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。
” 猎人说：“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，还有一些其他的动物上机!”So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashedlast year." 因为他们这样抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧!如果去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。
关于初中英语小笑话大全
关于初中英语小笑话大全近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。
我整理了关于初中英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!关于初中英语小笑话篇一At the bank where I was employed as a teller we were not allowed to eat while working. But one day，five months pregnant，I was ravenous. I opened a bag of potato chips and started to devour them. Just then I spotted one of our best customers and his wife heading my way. Quickly, I wiped my mouth and greeted them. As I processed their transaction，I noticed they were looking at me oddly.在银行我做出纳员，这里规定工作时不许吃东西。
但有一天，我因怀孕五个月有点嘴馋，打开了一包土豆片，开始偷吃起来。
这时，我看见一个熟悉的顾客和他的妻子朝我的窗口走来。
我匆忙地擦了一下嘴，向他们打了个招呼。
当我在给他们办理业务时，我注意到他们一直用一种异样的目光看着我。
On their way out, the man said,“I don't understand these youngpeople.”在他们往外走的路上，那个男的说:“我真搞不懂这些年轻人。
’，"Dear，that's a fashion statement，”his wife explained."It's a new type of brooch.”“亲爱的，那是新潮。
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初中英语短笑话
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面我为大家带来，欢迎大家阅读!
1：
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。
"
2：
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him,” Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes, Mum.” Tommy replied,” I have tried them all.”
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。
汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗?”
“是的，妈妈。
”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。
”
3：
, what was the name of the last station our train stopped at?
bother me. I don’t know. Don’t you see I’m reading?
, it’s too bad if you don’t know. Little brother got off there.
汤姆:“妈妈,我们这火车停过的上一站叫什么名字?”
母亲:“别打扰我,我不知道。
没看见我在看书吗?”
汤姆:“哇,你不知道就太糟了,弟弟在那站下了车。
4：
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。