雅思作文修改：国际经济与文化交流

雅思作文修改：国际经济与文化交流

这是基础班学生的习作。我只做了粗略的修改。有些细小语法错误，如果不是很影响理解，就没有改，这也是遵循了英语写作教学的原则。仅供大家参考。

原稿

Nowadays along with economics have increasingly developed,we can say the age of Global economic integration is coming.Some people suggest that countries strengthen business and cultural cooperation is a good thing.But others hold the opposite point of view.In my opinion, Global economic integration is the inevitable course of history.

Those who favor that the business and cultural increasingly contact between countries have a large amount of advantages give their reasons as follows.In the first place,countries can better take advantage of resourses.For example the country A products high quality electronic products because they have advanced and matured technologies.These products are lower costs than the counry B.SO what should country B do?Juts to take advangtage the country A’s technologies will save cost and time.Furthermore countries can promote undstanding and reduce prejudice.All the countries maitain friendly relationship so that world peace wll never be a dream again.

However ,the other side strongly advocate that countries will lose their national identities.For one thing, the Alien culture has increasingly impact on our nature culture .Such as the you ngster prefer the fast foods in Mcdonald’s rather than traditional foods. A growing number of people can remember the festivals from other countries and forget their own’s festivals,such as Chrismas has been acceptet by a increasing number of people in China.For

another ,there is a sharp rise in number of talents emigrate from their countries especially undeveleped countries to the developed countries.It results in a growing gap between these counries.

There is probably a little bit truth in both arguments.As far as I am concerned ,I complely agree with the former one.It is a inevitable tendency of history. The more one understands this impact, the better he does his share in

making possible the eventual meeting of cultures of nations for mutual enrichment.

改后稿

Nowadays, the economy is developing increasingly. we can say the age of global economic integration is coming.Some people suggest that it is wise for countries to strengthen business and cultural cooperation .But others hold the opposite point of view.In my opinion, global economic integration is the inevitable course of history.

Those who favor that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries has countless advantages give their reasons as follows.In the first place,countries can better take advantage of resourses.For example, country A produces high quality electronic products because they have advanced and matured technologies.These products have lower costs than counry B.SO what should country B do?Juts to take advangtage co untry A’s technologies, they will save cost and time(冠词和句子结构有些混

乱）.Furthermore，(加逗号）different （加个词更通顺）countries can promote undstanding and reduce prejudice.All the countries maitain friendly relationship so that world peace wll never be a dream （不需要again).

However ,the other side strongly advocate that countries will lose their national identities.For one thing, the (不需要大写）alien culture has increasingly （increasingly修饰动词，increasing修饰名词）impact on our nature（去掉nature) culture .Such as(For instance，such as 加名词) youngsters prefer fast food (泛指的名词不需要冠词，food不可数）in Mcdonald’s rather than traditional foods. A growing number of people can remember the festivals from other countries and forget their own’s festivals.（该断句了。加句子的例子可以这样）One example is that Chrismas has been acceptet by a increasing number of people in China.For another ,there is a sharp rise in the number of talents emigrating from their countries, especially undeveleped countries, to the developed countries.It results in a growing gap of (technological develeopment) between these counries.

There is probably a little bit truth in both arguments.As far as I am concerned ,I complely agree with the former one.It is an（注意冠词）inevitable tendency of history. The more one understands this impact, the better he/she does his/her share in

making possible the eventual meeting of cultures of nations for mutual enrichment. 结尾很不错，如果总结一下上述理由就更好了。

反馈：

整篇文章结构比较清晰，尽量使用了复杂句型和复杂的词语，主体段落也给出了理由和例子。结尾呼应了开头，如果能总结一下你的支持的理由更好。主要问题是细小的语法问题，需要提高语法准确度，特别是在写复杂句子的同时，要注意主谓结构。另外冠词的使用有些问题，还有就是increasing这个词的用法不是很清楚。有些地方我改过的没有加标记，自己对比一下自己的原文。继续努力。