英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)
三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿3篇
三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿3篇三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿1三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿2三分钟英语演讲稿1三分钟英语演讲稿10三分钟英语演讲稿3三分钟感恩英语演讲稿5大学三分钟英语演讲稿5三分钟英语演讲稿4三分钟英语演讲稿8三分钟英语演讲稿9三分钟英语演讲稿11三分钟英语演讲稿12 Everyone is attracted by beauty and beauty is powerful. But what is true beauty? Perhaps you can get the answer from the following story.This morning I went to the market to buy some vegetables with my parents. On the way we all highly praised a young man in western-style clothes and leather shoes who was riding by. But he rode so fast that he knocked an old lady down carelessly.Instead of stopping, he pretended not to see this and rode away quickly. We were all very angry with the young man. To our happiness, a girl in plain dress ran forward at once, helped the lady up and took her home. We all praised the girl.From this we know we cannot judge a person by his appearance. A person who is dressed beautifully may not have a beautiful soul. Only a personwho has a beautiful soul is really beautiful.美女人人都被美和美所吸引，是有力量的。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
大学英语笑话演讲稿
Ladies and Gentlemen,Good evening! It is my great pleasure to stand before you today and share with you a collection of English jokes that I believe will bring a smile to your faces and perhaps even a chuckle or two. As we all know, humor is a universal language that can bridge cultural gaps and bring people together. So, let's dive into the world of English jokes and have a laugh together!Joke 1: The English TeacherWhy did the student always get good grades in English?Because she knew how to "write" a check!(Explanation: In English, "write" is often used to refer to the act of writing something down, but it can also mean to check or to mark. The joke plays on the double meaning of the word "write".)Joke 2: The Dormitory RuleWhy did the dormitory rules change?Because they wanted to prevent students from "sleeping" in the library!(Explanation: This joke plays on the word "sleep", which can mean torest or to do something carelessly or inattentively, as in "sleeping through class".)Joke 3: The Language BarrierA foreign student was trying to learn English.He asked, "What does 'carry' mean?"The teacher replied, "It means to pick up and take with you."The student nodded, but later that day, he was seen walking down the street with a large, heavy package over his shoulder. The teacher walked up to him and asked, "Why are you carrying that?"The student replied, "I'm carrying it because I didn't understand what 'carry' means!"(Explanation: This joke highlights the challenges of learning a new language and the literal interpretation that can sometimes lead to confusion.)Joke 4: The Weather ForecastA weather forecaster said, "Today will be a sunny day with a chance of laughter!"The audience cheered, but later that day, it started to rain. A student asked, "Where's the laughter?"The weather forecaster replied, "I meant 'a chance of laughter', not 'a rain of laughter'!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the double meaning of the word "laugh", which can mean both to laugh out loud and to be laughing at something.)Joke 5: The English TestA student was taking an English test.The question was, "What is the difference between 'lead' and 'led'?"The student wrote, "Lead is the metal. Led is the past tense of lead."The teacher graded the paper and gave the student an F.The student asked, "Why did I get an F?"The teacher replied, "Because lead is not a verb, and led is not the past tense of lead!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the student's confusion about the use of the word "lead" as a verb and as a noun.)Joke 6: The English ProfessorAn English professor was teaching a class on poetry.He asked, "What is the difference between 'imply' and 'infer'?"A student raised her hand and said, "I know the answer, Professor! Imply is when you make a suggestion, and infer is when you make a guess!"The professor smiled and said, "That's correct! Now, can anyone tell me the difference between 'suggest' and 'guess'?"(Explanation: This joke plays on the student's attempt to use thecorrect words in the right context, but it also sets up a twist at the end.)Joke 7: The Grammar PoliceA grammar police officer was patrolling the campus.He stopped a student and said, "Excuse me, young lady, but I see that you are using 'your' instead of 'you're'."The student replied, "I know, officer, but I was just trying to keep up with the grammar trend."The officer looked at her and said, "Well, you can't just follow trends in grammar, young lady. You have to follow the rules!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the idea of following trends and the importance of adhering to grammatical rules.)ConclusionWell, there you have it, a selection of English jokes that I hope have brought some joy to your evening. Remember, humor is a great way to relieve stress and to connect with others. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation that calls for a smile, remember these jokes and share them with your friends and classmates. And if you have any funny stories or jokes of your own, feel free to share them with us as well!Thank you for listening, and I hope you all have a night filled with laughter and good cheer![Applause]。
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全3篇
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全3篇幽默英语故事演讲稿大全 (1) 老板最大There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethreeparrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the thirdone, $30,000.The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That‟s so expensive for this kindof parrot.”The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.”So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do thatmakes him so expensive?”The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusingactions,like dancing and so on. That‟s why he‟s so expensive.”Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do thatmakes him so expensive?”The owner of the shopsaid, “I don‟t know. Normally, I have never heardhim talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the othertwo call him …The Boss.‟”有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。
【最新】幽默英语演讲稿(多篇)
【最新】幽默英语演讲稿(多篇)第一篇：幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲om seem to cry for no reason?;.后来小男孩问他的父亲;妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?;;all , he asked ;god, any stances. even uch you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even thoughshe may still cry, you other alom seem to cry for no reason?;. 后来小男孩问他的父亲;妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?;;all , he asked ;god, ine a year ago.e do a plastic surgeon. i”ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。
我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。
）经典对话四：男：is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）女：yes, and this one ake you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。
）女：ake the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lomonade, cake, chocs and ices. just as the party orning?jonny: because every time i get to the corner, a guidepost says, “ school-----go sloy sister’s fingerst: eat it ale in a crobrellaa gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall. heput on the handle a card on an sat doore portion; you don’thave to share like that. ”the old man e_plained, “no,no, no, an wasn’t eating, and only the man ate, and he asked, “why aren’t you eating,?” and the wife said, “today it’s his turn to use the teeth.”。
长篇英语笑话故事_演讲与口才_
长篇英语笑话故事幽默笑话我们看不少了，可逆看过英语笑话故事吗?下面小编为大家整理了一些长篇英语笑话故事资料，快跟小编一起来看看。
经典长篇英语笑话故事1、My Husband Will Be Home SoonA married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard."Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!""Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice..."Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"我丈夫马上就要回来了一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。
英语小笑话演讲带翻译
英语小笑话演讲带翻译笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带翻译篇1也要谦虚为怀"The man I marry must be as wise as Solomon,“我要结婚的对象必须要像所罗门王一样聪明，as mighty as Hercules,像赫克力士一样强壮，as brave as Admiral Nelson,像纳尔逊上将一样英勇，and as graceful as Nureyev. "并和苏联芭蕾舞蹈家诺瑞耶夫一样优雅。
”"How fortunate we met! "“很幸运能见到你!”英语小笑话带翻译篇2老马识途A young vice president of a bank had embezzled $200,000, and squandered it at the racetrack. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal hiscrime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.一位年轻的银行副总裁挪用了二十万美金的公款，并悉数浪费在赛马上，银行的督察第二天就要来视察，而他也没办法隐瞒他的不法行为。
更糟的是，当他把此一不幸的消息告诉他老婆时，她竟收拾行李，离他而去。
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throwhimself into the river. Just as he wasabout to leap off, a hideous old hag ran up to him,shouting for him to stop.年轻人非常沮丧地走向离家最近的一座桥想投河自尽。
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文(通用6篇)
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文（通用6篇）幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿1幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿1Dear teachers and schoolmates:I’m very happy to give a lecture in English here today. The title of speech is I Love English. As everyone knows,English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. If we can speak English well,we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it,the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed. But for myself,I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.When I learn English, I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels,I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English, I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English,I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chinese… I love English,it gives me a colorful dream.I hope I can travel around the world one day. With my good English, I can make friends with many people fromdifferent contries.I can see many places of great intrests.I dream that I can go to London,because it is the birth place of English. I also want to use my good English to introduce our great places to the English spoken people,I hope that they can love our country like us.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well. If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that I will realize my dream one day! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿2幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿2Good morning/afternoon!First thing first, I gotta say,wow,its funny thing to be given a chance like that.Trurh be told,I really got a little bit nervous before I stand right here ,so called stage fright.If you look specifically on me .You may find my hands shaking,pretty assembles the guy who suffered from Pakinsons disease,and legs wobbling ,like I caught so-called ball leg. Okay,lets stop going around the bush and get back to my topic today.I really like to talk a funny story I have just heard.A lady called Lucy emigrated to United States several yearsago.Her spoken English is not that fluent .And one day,she is just sitting on the couch with his U.S friends Mandy watching Sit-Com.A noise of bump had the attention of Mandy,which led her to go out of the house trying to figure out what had happened.Can you imagine that Mandy go straight out with merely a sweater.So Lucy shouted at her,'Lucy ,turn your clothes on.' What suprised her most,beyond her wildest imagination, is that almost all the male in this country took their head out of thewindow.Admittedly,Lucy made a mistake here .The word spitted means Mandy is totally naked to the reason that male looked out of the window.The right sentence shall be,'put your clothing on.'The story inspires you to take a careful look on the vast difference between eastern and western culture.Thats full of it,thank you for your time!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:Thank you very much for choosing to come in such a cold night.Today my topic is about choice and process.A research shows that a man has to make 73 choices one day.With so manychoices one day, people easily get so confused and afraid of making wrong choice that they hesitate and finally miss the true part of life. In my opinion, the following part is of much more importance than the choice. There is no absolute right or wrong choice but wonderful or boring life, which the process makes the difference.Life is a box of chocolate,you never know what you will get. Forrest Gump made no decision by and for himself but he accomplished great success with his strong will in the process. The process is not the road itself but the attitudes and feelings ,the caution, courage and persistance we have as we encounter new experience and unexpected obstacles. Take myself as an example, I changed my major when I became a postgraduate. After the choice,days have been harsh for me.I cannot understand the new lessons at all. For they are closely related to mathmatics which I learned nothing about before. However wuth the belief that this is the great chance for me to experience new ideas and challenge myself,I persisted. I asked for help from every channel and reorgonized my life. Gradually I could understand some parts and even found maths interesting.Moreover, I learned to act instead of complaining. In retrospect,the choice left no trace in my mind but thehappiness and bitterness of the past four months becomes an unforgetable experience in my life.No matter what the choice is, enjoy the process. In the process, your potential will be inspired and new discoveries,improvement and progress will come to you. These are the most beautiful sceneries and only on the way can you see it.These make your life colorful.There is no need and I donnot want to judge whether it right or wrong for me to be here,but I congratulate to myself for I gain and enjoy this fantastic experience. So my dear friends,never worry about your choice and enjoy the process.I am sure you will get something new and intersting tonight after you chose to come here.Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿4幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿4Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.”“Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” hermother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.”“Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.”No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿5幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿5Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I68m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “youth”. I hope you will like it , and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it.First I want to ask you some questions: 1、 Do you know what is youth? 2、 How do you master your youth?YouthYouth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind it is not rosy cheeks , red lips and supple knees, it is a matter of the emotions : it is the freshness it is the freshness of the deep springs of life .Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage overtimidity of the appetite , for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20 . Nobody grows old merely by a number of years . We grow old by deserting our ideals.Years wrinkle the skin , but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul . Worry , fear , self –distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust .Whether 60 of 16 , there is in every human being 67s heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what68s next and the joy of the game of living . In the center of your heart and my heart there68s a wireless station : so long as it receives messages of beauty , hope ,cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long as you are young .When the aerials are down , and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old ,even at 20 , but as long as your aerials are up ,to catch waves of optimism , there is hope you may die young at 80.That68s all ! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿6幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿6Earn english not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.when i learnenglish, i can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.when i read english novels,i can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.when i speak english, i can feel the confident from my words.when i write english,i can see the beauty which is not the same as our chinese...I love english,it gives me a colorful dream.i hope i can travel around the world one day. with my good english, i can make friends with many people from different contries.i can see many places of great intrests.i dream that i can go to london,because it is the birth place of english.I also want to use my good english to introduce our great places to the english spoken people,i hope that they can love our country like us.I know, rome was not built in a day. i believe that after continuous hard study, one day i can speak english very well. if you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. so i believe as i love english everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that i will realize my dream one day!Thank you!。
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两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.
乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:”我的朋友死了,怎么办?.”
服务人员说:”淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了.”安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:”好了,那接下来怎么办.”
下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：
笑话二：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.” holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”(福尔摩斯和华生出去露营。他们在星空下支起帐篷然后入睡了。半夜时分，福尔摩斯叫醒华生，说：“华生，抬头看看天空，然后告诉我你看到了什么。”华生答道：“我看见了数以百万计的星星。”福尔摩斯说：“那你从这可以推断出什么结果呢?”华生又答：“哦，如果有几百万颗星星的话，即使里面只有少数的一些行星，那么就有可能存在像地球那样的行星。如果有像地球那样的行星，那上面就可能会有生命存在。”福尔摩斯：“华生你这个白痴，这意味着有人偷了俺们的帐篷。”
甲:”如此你能推断出什么结论?”
乙回答道:”嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.”
甲无语:”你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.”
第二篇：英语笑话
英语笑话
笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: “that’s the ugliest baby that i’ve ever see rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: “the driver just insulted me!” the man says: “you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i’ll hold your monkey for you.”(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。司机说：“这是我见过最丑的宝宝。噢!”该女走到车厢后部坐下来，正恼怒得七窍生烟。她对邻座的男子说：“那司机刚才辱骂我!”男子说：“你过去让他滚——去吧，我会帮你把这猴子看好的。”)
sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”
holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”
watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)
第一篇：英语笑话
two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, “my friend is dead! what can i do?”. the operator says “calm down. i can help. first, let’s make sure he’s dead.” there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says “ok, now what?”
and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去.半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:”抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?”乙:”我看见好多好多的星星.”