研究生英语读写译教程第5_marriage原文翻译与课后答案
研究生英语读写译第二版1-7课练习参考答案和参考译文

《研究生英语读写译教程》(第二版)练习参考答案及参考译文(注:第二版只有第六单元为全新单元,其余单元只是有些调整。
)各单元练习答案UNIT ONE STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH. COMPREHENSION1 He dropped out of Reed College because he did not see the value of it. (The answer to the second part of the question is open.)2 Life was tough –he slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, he returned coke bottles and he walked 7 miles to get one good free meal…3 He cited the example to demonstrate that what he had learned in his calligraphy class worked when designing the first Macintosh computer.4 Jobs’ first story tells that the dots will somehow connect in your future. (What you have learned/experienced might help in your future career.)5 He was publicly out. (The company that he and Woz established dismissed him.) The fact that he still loved what he did made him start over again.6 He has learned a good lesson from his failure.7 Do the things we love to do.8 Open.9 Open.10 Open. (We should always want more, never be content and when we want to do something that others say is foolish, do it anyway.)VOCABULARY AND STRUCTUREA1 naively2 curiosity3 combination4 let down5 vision6 baton7 creative8 mirror9 trap 10 inventionB1 drowned out2 tuition3 Commencement4 deposit5 typography6 make way for7 animation8 intuition9 destination 10 divergeC1 follow: orders, rules, advice, fads, an ideal, one’s instinct2 trust in: honesty, the Lord, power, intuition, sixth sense3 wear out, fade out, put out, make out, get out, break out4 play writer/playwright, speedwriter, blog writer, letter writer, editorial writer5 habitual, textual, accentual, sexual, spiritual, conceptual6 shocking, stunning, eye-catching, astonishing, striking, dazzlingSPEAKING: Open.TRANSLATIONA1热烈的鼓掌2波涛汹涌的海面3熟睡4烟瘾大的人5油腻而难消化的食物6烈酒7悲痛的消息8沉闷冗长的读物9〈化〉重水10他在一家法国银行拥有外国人账户。
marriage课后习题答案

marriage课后习题答案婚姻课后习题答案婚姻是人类社会中最基本的组织形式之一,它不仅关乎个人的幸福与成长,也涉及到社会的稳定与发展。
然而,婚姻问题并非简单易解,需要我们从多个角度去思考和探讨。
在本文中,我们将回答一些关于婚姻的课后习题,以期帮助读者更好地理解和应对婚姻中的挑战。
1. 婚姻的定义是什么?婚姻是指两个人在法律和社会上建立起的一种合法关系,旨在共同承担责任、分享生活,并为了个人和社会的福祉而存在。
2. 婚姻的意义和价值在哪里?婚姻的意义和价值体现在多个方面。
首先,婚姻为个人提供了情感支持和安全感,使得人们能够在困难和挑战面前共同应对。
其次,婚姻为社会提供了稳定的家庭基础,有助于培养健康的下一代。
此外,婚姻还促进了社会的互动和合作,增进了人际关系的和谐。
3. 婚姻中的沟通为什么重要?沟通是婚姻中至关重要的因素之一。
通过有效的沟通,配偶可以更好地理解对方的需求和期望,解决问题,减少误解和冲突。
沟通还有助于建立更深入的情感连接,增进亲密关系,培养共同的价值观和目标。
4. 如何处理婚姻中的冲突?处理婚姻中的冲突需要一定的技巧和智慧。
首先,双方需要保持冷静和理性,避免情绪化的争吵和指责。
其次,要学会倾听和尊重对方的观点,尝试理解对方的立场和感受。
此外,寻找共同的解决方案,而不是追求单方面的胜利,也是处理冲突的关键。
5. 如何维持婚姻中的激情和浪漫?婚姻中的激情和浪漫是需要持续投入和经营的。
首先,双方应保持积极的态度和开放的心态,培养共同的兴趣和爱好,共同创造美好的回忆。
其次,保持身体上和情感上的亲密接触,表达爱意和关怀。
此外,给予对方惊喜和关注,不断创造新的体验和挑战,也有助于维持婚姻中的激情和浪漫。
6. 婚姻中的家务分工如何合理安排?家务分工是婚姻中常见的问题之一。
合理安排家务分工需要双方的协商和妥协。
首先,双方应明确各自的责任和能力,根据实际情况合理分配家务任务。
其次,要充分尊重对方的付出和贡献,避免产生不平衡和不满。
当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文_嘉成制作

当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文_嘉成制作第一篇:当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文_嘉成制作当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文当代研究生英语读写教程(上)A课文译文当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文让顾客直接支付账单。
当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文一些私人组织和地方团体已经在不声不晌地建立各种标签服务系统,并建立了适合儿童的网站,如“儿童连接”、“儿童空间”等。
具有不同品味和抱有不同价值观念的人如同挑选书刊、杂志一样,可以从网上挑选出适合自己的服务机构。
如果愿意,他们还可以在网上无拘无束地逍遥漫游,完成自己的旅程。
总之,我们的社会需要发展,要发展就意味着我们必须明白,世上没有完美无缺的答案,没有能够解决各种问题的妙方,没有政府认可的安全避难所。
我们不能在地球上建立一个十全十美的社会,同样也不能在信息空间营造一个这样的社会。
但是至少我们可以有个人的选择——也有个人的责任。
当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文当代研究生英语读写教程上下册课文译文男孩的群体比女孩的要大,所包括的人更广泛,也更具有等级特色。
因此,男孩们势必要努力争取不在群体中处于从属地位。
这也许是为什么女人抱怨男人不听她们说话的根源之一。
当女的对男的说“你没有在听”,而男的反对说“我在听”时,常常男的是对的。
这种给人没有在听的印象是由于男女对话方式的不同而引起的。
这种不同在男女各自就位时就已表现出来了。
我对心理学家布鲁斯·多维尔录制的关于儿童与成人分别与他们的同性好友交谈时的录像带进行了研究。
研究发现,无论多大年龄的女孩和成年女性,都采取面对面的姿势,眼睛看着对方的脸。
而各种年龄的男孩和成年男子就座时,相互位置都成一定的角度,眼睛看着屋子别的地方,只有时不时瞥对方一眼。
男性这种看着别处的习惯,可能给女性一种印象,那就是他们没有在听,即使他们在听也会给人以没有在听的印象。
一个年轻的女大学生感到很失望,因为每当她告诉男朋友她想跟他谈谈时,他总是躺在地上,闭上眼睛,并用手臂挡住脸。
当代研究生英语读写教程1Units1-5课文翻译

Unit OneCyberspace: If You D on’t Love it, Leave it信息空间:出入随愿1 Something in the American psyche loves new frontiers. We hanker after wide-open spaces; we like to explore; we like to make rules but refuse to follow them. But in this age it‟s hard to find a place where you can go and be yourself without worrying about the neighbors.美国人的内心深处具有一种酷爱探索新领域的气质。
我们渴求宽敞的场地,我们喜欢探索,喜欢制定规章制度,却不愿去遵守。
在当今时代,却很难找到一块空间,可以供你任意驰骋,又不必担心影响你的邻居。
2 There is such a place: cyberspace. Formerly a playground for computer fans, cyberspace now embraces every conceivable constituency: schoolchildren, flirtatious singles, Hungarian-Americans, accountants. Can they all get along? Or will our fear of kids surfing for dirty pictures behind their bedroom doors provoke a crackdown?确实有这样一个空间,那就是信息空间。
这里原本是计算机迷的游戏天地,但如今只要想像得到的各类人群应有尽有,包括少年儿童、轻佻的单身汉、美籍匈牙利人、会计等。
研究生英语精读Unit5课后答案+课文翻译

Unit5I. Comprehension Checki l.T 2.F 3.T 4.F 5.T 6.T 7.F 8.T 9.T 10.Tii l.B 2.A 3.A 4.C 5.D 6.D 7.C 8.B 9.A 10.Biii (略)Il. Vocabulary StudyIII. Cloze1.A2. D3.B4.B5. A6. D7. D8.C9.B l0.All.C l2.C l3.A 14. D 15B l6.D 17.C 18.A l9.B 20.AlV. Translation.1. It is generally accepted that the upbringing of the child within the home is closely related to the education of the child in school.2. Jennifer is the chief of personnel for the New York Herald Tribune, where she is also responsible for special editorial work in the field of public relations.3. It was two years ago that Jeff met Rose at his sister’s birthday party. They have been communicating with each other by e-mail since then; the more Jeff knows Rose, the more he likes her.4. This new measure is effective not only in providing job opportunities for the laid-off workers, but in limiting price increases.5. Similarly/Likewise, they insufficiently treated the political and economic background of the conspiracy.6. Tremendous capital input has met the needs of rapid economic growth on the one hand and has caused the inflation on the other.V. Writing Practice1. (5) Now they scan their list of events and decide which can be used and which must be discarded.(2) They begin by listing the events they plan to relate and arranging them in time order.(6) Before they go any further with their organization, they decide what will determine the plane 2 sentences.(1) They usually jot down all of the events related to their subject.(8) After they have determined the planes of their ideas, they then revise and add any connectors that arenecessary to the reader’s understanding of the narrative.(3) Next, they look over the chronological listing and form a purpose for their paragraph(9) With the steps completed, they have a unified paragraph with the details arranged in time sequence.(4) At this point, they write the topic sentence and state the purpose as the controlling idea.(7) At the same time, they decide what material is necessary to support these plane 2 sentences.2. Comments:A paragraph that has sentences that do not relate to or discuss the controlling idea lacks unity. The topic of this paragraph is “another problem facing a number of elderly people,” and the control-ling idea is “living on a reduced income”. Therefore, all of the sentences should deal with the idea of the problem of living on a reduced income. In the paragraph, though, there are three sentences that do not discuss this particular topic’ “Of course, sometimes they can’t g o out because of their health. Maybe they have arthritis or rheumatism and it is painful for them to move around. This can also change their life--style”. These sentences should be taken out of this paragraph and perhaps developed in another paragraph.Key to Supplementary ReadingsA 1. A 2.B 3. D 4. B 5. CB l.B 2.C 3.D 4.A 5.D 6.B 7.C 8.B 9.B 10.A.课文参考译文:抚养孩子1. 人们一般认为孩子最初几年的经历对其性格以及以后个性的培养影响很大。
研究生英语读写译教程习题答案

Unit 1Keys to section A: 1. escort 2. obsessively 3. unseemly 4. baffling 5. trudged 6. simultaneously 7. punning 8. prim 9. trivial 10. ambivalenceKeys to section B:1. A. unobtrusive2. C. submissive3. D. grim4. B. misdemeanour5. C. disapprove6. D. prodigious7. C. trivial8. D. pathetic9. A. simultaneous 10. D. harryingKeys to close5. against 7. clash 10. penalty 1.torments 3. expected 9. tough 2.suspension 4. stick6. fit 8. promiseUnit 3II. V ocabulary and StructureA. 1. consensus 2. biodiversity 3. sustainable 4. transition 5. disparities.6. degradation7. stakeholders8. broker.9. ministerial 10. yieldB. 1.B in line with 2.C inception 3. A. unprecedented 4. B. pave the way for 5. B. intensification 6. D. subsistence 7. A embark on 8. B. mobilize 9.A infuse 10.A fully-fledgedIII. Cloze1. finance2. reduce3.improve4. agencies5. sustainable6. regional7. integration8. instruments9. enterprises 10. mobilizeUnit 51. obsolete2. perils3. turbulent4. stupefied5.concoction6. splinter7. nibbled8. erupt9. suffocated 10. infidelityB. Directions: Choose the word or phrase that best completes each of the following sentences.1.C2.D3.A4. B5.A6. B7.C8. C9. B 10. DIII. ClozeDirections: Fill in the blanks in the following passage by selecting suitable words in proper forms from the Word Bank. You may not use any of the words more than once.1. sphere2. realm3. sacrifices4. manifestations5. exquisite6. involved7. exchange8. accomplished9. object 10. misfortuneUnit 6II V ocabulary and StructureA. 1. consumption 2. conflicted 3. assigned 4. sprawling 5. resort6. incentive7. overlooked8. undervalued9. overall 10. identifyB. 1.C 2.D 3.B. 4.B 5.D 6.C 7.B 8.A 9.C 10.DIII Cloze1. dominate2. symbol3. contrast4. populated5. finished6. tie7. connected8. exceeded9. along 10. becauseUnit 11Keys to section A:1. reconciled2. imperative3. paradox4. existence5. inherit6. formidable7. sensitive8. confess9. Incidentally 10. converselyKeys to section B:1. B2.A3. A4.B5. A6. A7. A8.D9.B 10.CIII Cloze1. partially2. linked3. positive4. increase5. impact6. management7. tolerance8. relieve9. builds 10. reactionUnit 13V ocabulary and Structure:1. insinuate2. amplify3. exploit4. detained5. misconstrued6. inherent7. predisposition8. harbor 9, accommodate 10. around the clock 1-10 1. C 2. A 3. D 4. B 5. B 6. C 7. D 8. A9. C 10. D Cloze:1. declining2.brought on3. raise4. predecessors5. to5. although 7.determinant 8. flood 9. overtaxed 10. moreoverUnit 15II. V ocabulary and Structure:A. 1. formula 2. otherwise 3. recesses 4. cohesion 5. addiction6. nourish7. dispersed8. convert…into9. hitchhike 10. makes… sense.B. 1.C 2.C 3.D 4.B 5.A 6.A 7.C 8.C 9.A 10.DIII. Cloze1. dispute2. alternative3. searching for4. ethnic5. lifestyle6. on behalf of7. corruption8.opportunity9. vision 10.look forward toTranslationUnit 11.把下面的英语段落翻译成汉语。
研究生英语读写译第5单元-marriage课后答案

Unit 5 TextWhy Marriages Failby Anne RoipheBackground Information1. About the AuthorAnne Roiphe (born December 25, 1935) is an American writer and journalist. She is best-known as a first-generation feminist, and author of the novel Up The Sandbox (1970)《沙坑之上》, which was filmed as a starring vehicle for Barbra Streisand in 1972. In 1996, Salon called the book "a feminist classic." Anne Roiphe has published several works including this article written in Family Weekly magazine.2. Bertrand Russell’s idea about happiness in marriageBertrand Russell stated in his book "Marriage" that it is therefore possible for a civilized man and a woman to be happy in marriage, although if this is to be the case a number of conditions must be fulfilled. There must be a feeling of complete equality on both sides; there must be no interference with mutual freedom; there must be the most complete physical and mental intimacy; and there must be a certain similarity in regard to standards of values. (It is fatal, for example, if one values only money while the other values only good work.) Given all these conditions, I believe marriage to be the best and most important relation that can exist between two human beings. If it has not often been realized hitherto, that is chiefly because husband and wife have not trusted each other. If marriage is to achieve its possibilities, husbands and wives must learn to understand that whatever the law may say, in their private lives they must be free.3. What experiences or assumption do you have about failed marriage?I believe that some people get married for love, some for lust, some for status, some for money, some for security, some for convenience, some to have children, some looking for parental guidance, some for business reasons etc. And if that is true, why is it that everyone who gets married expects adherence to the same standards as far as fidelity is concerned? The expectation seems to be that everyone gets married for passionate, romantic love and fidelity is the highest value of marriage.Language Points1. Para. [1] “Sacred vows”:are the promises—religious and secular—that are made during the marriage ceremony. Among these are ―to love and honor till death do us part,‖ so presumably the couple will live happily ever after, as in a fairy tale. These are time-honored expressions, almost clichés; they may become obsolete if the divorce rate rises even more and proves that these phrases are invalid.2. Para. [1] “single-parent homes”:are homes in which the child or children live with only one parent—mother or father—because of divorce or death.3. Para. [2] “Outside pressures”: are those problems that do not derive from the relationship between husband and wife directly, but may affect them greatly.4. Para. [3] “ We all select… of our first home”: We choose based on the emotional patterns of the home in which we lived as infants and young children—our parents’ home (―first home‖). This method may cause problems because in addition to bringing the positive aspects of early childhood to a marriage, we also bring unmet needs, angers, frustrations, and so on. Marriage may then become a battlefield where we try to resolve these negative aspects of our lives.5. Para. [5] “----and work runs counter to the basic myth of marriage”: The basic myth is that getting married will solve all our past problems, that it will automatically change our lives for the better. This attitude can create a bad marriage by putting too much pressure and expectation into it.6. Para. [5] “all the cultural changes” : are changes in sexual expectations, gender roles, and responsibilities. Some couples are unable to cope with these changes.7. Para. [7] “These…at the dunes”: In other words, not just all the wonderful things, but the day-to-day realities of a partner as well. A good marriage must be able to incorporate both the blissful and the mundane.8. Para. [9] “prevents a healthy exchange of thoughts and feelings.”: Communication is essential although often difficult to achieve. Poor communication ―prevents a healthy exchange of thoughts and feelings.‖ This can be overcome by setting up new patterns of communications and intimacy—a process which in itself requires good communication, however.9. Para. [14] The fact that “people today are unwilling to exercise the self-disciplin e…”: To make sacrifice and compromise.10. Para. [16] “Divorce is not an evil act”: Roiphe views divorce as something favorable if there is no other recourse. She presents both positive and negative effects to balance her conclusion realistically. Divorce can produce initial devastation, but it can also be a healthy step toward new health and ending mutual unhappiness.Word Study1.obsolete adj. out-of-date; no longer in use(1) The army plans to phase out the equipment as it becomes obsolete.(2) The obsolete regime is about to collapse.2. perils n. dangers(1)You had better not invest so much money at your peril.vt. take the risk of doing sth.(2)Do you think I am going to peril my reputation for you?3. infertility n. the lack of ability to have children(1)What are the key causes of male infertility?4. turbulent adj. very chaotic or uneasy(1) The sea is too turbulent for sailing.5. stupefy vt. bewilder(1) I was stupefied by what I read.6. obese adj. very fat, overweight(1) Obese patients are advised to change their diet.7. entrapment n. the act of trapping, sometimes by devious methods(1) Entrapment: 片名: 偷天陷阱将计就计; 主演: 辛·康纳利Sean Connery 凯瑟琳·泽塔-琼斯Catherine Zeta-Jones8. yearning n. a strong desire(1) It showed man's yearning for happiness and love.adj. longing for(2) All that they do is cry to God with yearning hearts.9. euphoric adj. overjoyed, ecstatic(1) Laughter is euphoric much more than wine.10. infidelity n. disloyalty, adultery(1) His wife has winked at his infidelity for years.参考译文婚姻何以失败安·洛芙[1] 如今,以离婚告终的婚姻如此之多,我们最神圣的誓约听上去都不再真实了。
《研究生英语读写译教程》(第二版)练习参考答案及参考译文

《研究生英语读写译教程》(第二版)练习参考答案及参考译文《讨论生英语读写译教程》(其次版)练习参考答案及参考译文(注:其次版惟独第六单元为全新单元,其余单元只是有些调节。
)各单元练习答案UNIT ONE STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH. COMPREHENSION1 He dropped out of Reed College because he did not see the value of it. (The answer to the second part of the question is open.)2 Life was tough –he slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, he returned coke bottles and he walked 7 miles to get one good free meal…3 He cited the example to demonstrate that what he had learned in his calligraphy class worked when designing the first Macintosh computer.4 Jobs’ first story tells that the dots will somehow connect in your future. (What you have learned/experienced might help in your future career.)5 He was publicly out. (The company that he and Woz established dismissed him.) The fact that he still loved what he did made him start over again.6 He has learned a good lesson from his failure.7 Do the things we love to do.8 Open.9 Open.10 Open. (We should always want more, never be content and when we want to do something that others say is foolish, do it anyway.)VOCABULARY AND STRUCTUREA1 naively2 curiosity3 combination4 let down5 vision6 baton7 creative8 mirror9 trap 10 inventionB1 drowned out2 tuition3 Commencement4 deposit5 typography6 make way for7 animation8 intuition9 destination 10 divergeC1 follow: orders, rules, advice, fads, an ideal, one’s instinct2 trust in: honesty, the Lord, power, intuition, sixth sense3 wear out, fade out, put out, make out, get out, break out。
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婚姻何以失败安·洛芙[1] 如今,以离婚告终的婚姻如此之多,我们最神圣的誓约听上去都不再真实了。
“从此永远幸福地生活着”和“直到死神将我们分开”这类话语似乎快过时了。
夫妻长相守何以变得如此困难?哪儿出了问题?我们到底怎么了,竟然有差不多半数的婚姻注定要以离婚法庭为终点?有42%的儿童将在单亲家庭中长大,我们怎么把社会弄成这样了呢?如果统计数字能测量出孤独、懊悔、痛苦、失去自信和对未来恐惧的程度,这些数字会大得惊人。
[2]虽然破裂的婚姻各有其独特的情况,但我们还是能找到致使婚姻无法维持下去的共同因素,即常见的危险。
凡婚姻都有其危机时刻,都要考验持久力、考验既能亲密相处又善应对变化的能力。
外部压力,如失业、疾病、不育、抚育孩子、赡养年迈的父母,以及生活中其他种种烦恼,都会如飓风横扫海岸那样对婚姻带来打击。
有些婚姻经受住了这些风暴,有些则不然。
但婚姻失败并不是简单地由外部天气造成的,而是由于内部气候变得过热或过冷,变得过于狂暴或过于麻木造成的。
[3]如果我们来看一下自己如何挑选配偶,看一下在爱情最初的温柔、浪漫阶段有着怎样的期待,婚姻触礁的一些原因便显而易见了。
无意中我们都精确地选中了能和我们一起重建我们第一个家庭的情感模式的伴侣。
婚姻心理治疗专家、威斯康星大学精神病学荣誉退职教授卡尔·A·威塔科尔解释说:“从幼年起,我们每一个人心里就对婚姻、女性气质、男性气质、为人母、为人父,以及其他各种家庭角色有了自己的模式。
”我们每一个人都爱上具有自己父母气质的伴侣,能帮助我们在心理上重温以往生活中的欢乐与苦难的伴侣。
我们或许会以为自己找的男人与爸爸不同,可是到头来,就像爸爸那样,他酗酒,或者吸毒,或者一次又一次失业,或者就像爸爸那样一言不发地坐在电视机前。
男人或许会选择一个像自己母亲一样不喜欢孩子的女人,或者一个像自己母亲一样把家里的钱全都赌光的女人。
或者他会选择一个苗条的妻子,与体态臃肿的母亲看上去似乎不一样,可结果发现那女子有其他的嗜好,这就毁了双方的幸福。
[4]男女双方都把意识到的和未意识到的对父母共同生活的混杂记忆带上婚床。
人类总会不由自主地去重复并再现过去的生活模式。
西格蒙德·弗洛伊德入木三分地描述了我们许多人所陷入的自设的不幸罗网:童年时期未能满足的欲望,多年前的挫折留下的愤怒情绪,信任极限以及旧日恐惧的重现。
一个人一旦意识到自己陷入这样的困境,就可能渴望逃脱,其结果可能是婚姻破裂、分崩离析。
[5]当然,人们能够改变童年时期养成的习惯和形成的看法。
我们都有潜在的优势,都有令人惊叹的能力使自己成长以及创造性地改变自己。
然而,变化需要有所行动,如观察自己在失败模式中的作用,公开遇到的难处。
然而行动却有悖于关于婚姻的神话:“若我与此人结了婚,我所有的烦恼就会烟消云散。
到了那时我算是获得成功了,我将成为此人生活的中心,此人也将成为我生活的中心,我们将永远视对方为自己生活的全部。
”这一维系所有婚姻的神话不久就被打破。
孩子降生了,需要有人爱、需要有人花时间照料,这些拖累在相当程度上打击了那个说什么视对方为自己生活之全部,或者说什么夫妇融为一体解决生活中所有问题的神话。
[6]对金钱的关心以及由金钱造成的紧张关系使夫妻产生隔阂。
对苛求的父母或仍需赡养的父母应尽的责任进一步加剧了紧张关系。
如今,夫妻双方还必须应对近几年来妇女解放运动和性革命所带来的各种文化变革。
角色的改变、责任的变更对婚姻都是极其严峻的考验。
[7]就像沙尘暴侵蚀岩石、海浪蚕食沙丘,这一切以及生活中其他现实问题逐渐毁灭对幸福婚姻的幻想。
那些伴随着浪漫爱情而来的欣喜若狂的美妙感觉实际上都是自我欺骗、自我催眠的梦幻,而这种自欺、这种梦幻使我们得以去缔结良缘。
现实生活、工作中的失败、失望、劳累、体臭、重感冒以及艰难时世都会打破幻想,使我们与配偶间的关系陷入困境,使我们面对以这种或那种方式左右我们的儿时模式时毫无办法,使我们面对无法实现的种种期望时一筹莫展。
[8]维系婚姻的努力要求有适应能力、灵活性、真挚的爱和亲切和善,还要有足够强的想象力,去感受对方的感情。
许多婚姻破裂是因为男女双方都不能想像对方需要什么,也无法交流彼此的需要和感情。
于是怒气越积越多,最后如火山一样爆发出来,其灰烬终将婚姻埋葬。
[9]因此,不难看出,婚姻要美满,交流是多么重要。
不管是丈夫还是妻子,必须能告诉对方他/她的感受,以及他/她为什么会有这种感受。
不然的话,他们就会把导致进一步不幸的角色和行为强加给对方。
有时候,儿时的交流模式——不讲话、讲得太多、不听对方讲话、不信任、生气、与对方相处时的冷漠等——会注入婚姻关系,阻止健康的思想和感情交流。
解决的办法是建立新的交流和亲近模式。
[10]然而与此同时,我们必须把对方看作是独立的个人。
“在亲与疏之间取得平衡是所有人在人生的每一个阶段都要遇到的主要心理任务之一,”纽约大学医学中心的精神病学家斯图尔特·巴特尔博士如是说。
[11]如果我们意识到配偶要求过多的亲密,我们往往会将他/她推开,担心自己会在融为一体的婚姻中失去自身独立性。
夫妻一方孩子般地依赖对方会使对方感到透不过气来。
[12]理想的婚姻意味着不但夫妻情感与日俱增,而且各自要作为独立的个人同时发展。
这不是件容易事。
理查德放弃了对木工活的兴趣,因为妻子海伦对他撇下自己心生嫉妒。
凯伦不去歌唱队了,因为她丈夫不喜欢她在歌唱队里的那些朋友。
每对夫妻都朝朝暮暮守在一起,当他们感受到生活的封闭时,彼此就生对方的气。
当夫妻中任何一个不打算继续厮守时,这种婚姻平衡就很容易被打破,紧接着便是离婚。
[13]有时自以为找个新伴侣就能解决老问题。
婚外性关系常常破坏婚姻,因为它使好与坏人为地分裂开来——好的记在新人名下,坏的倒在旧人头上。
不诚实、隐瞒、欺骗等行为在夫妻之间筑起屏障。
不忠乃婚姻出现问题的症状。
不忠象征抗议,是复仇的武器,也是拆散亲密关系的工具。
不忠行为常常成为谚语中所说的把骆驼压垮的那最后一根稻草。
[14]确实——婚姻从来就很难处理。
那为什么偏偏如今会发生如此之多的离婚呢?没错,我们现代的社会结构相当薄弱;没错,社会的宽容放任使人们产生了不切实际的期望,使家庭陷入混乱。
但离婚如此普遍是因为今天的人们不愿意运用婚姻所需的自我约束力。
他们希望不花力气就能过上悠闲愉快的日子,就像电视台的娱乐节目,就像参加精彩的晚会那么兴奋。
[15]婚姻需要某种牺牲,不是那种可怕的灵魂上的自我牺牲,而是某种程度上的妥协。
为了婚姻,一个人不得不放弃某些幻想、某些合理的欲望。
“每对夫妻都会有时感到婚姻的束缚,但恰恰正是他们自己决定把男婚女嫁变成束缚人的羁绊或相互扶持的纽带的,”威塔科尔博士说。
婚姻需要夫妻双方在性、经济、情感等方面自律。
夫妻都不能一味凭冲动行事,不能听任自己停滞不前或不思改变。
[16]离婚并非邪恶的行动。
有时离婚能解救那些已经没有希望重归于好的夫妻,解救那些深深陷入凄楚痛苦之中的夫妻。
如同外科医生动的第一刀,离婚最初固然带有破坏性,但那可能就是走向健康走向美好生活的必要一步。
从另一方面来说,如果夫妻双方能共同度过那些爱情神话破灭的危机,进而培养真正的爱情与发展亲密关系,他们就完成了一项与世界上最宏伟的大教堂一样神奇的伟业。
没有破裂而是改善了的婚姻,不尽完美却长久维持着的婚姻,如今不仅弥足珍贵,而且构筑成一个绝妙的庇护所,在其间夫妻双方可以安全地展示共同的人性。
1. obsolete2. perils3. turbulent4. stupefied5.concoction6. splinter7. nibbled8. erupt9. suffocated 10. infidelityB. Directions: Choose the word or phrase that best completes each of the following sentences.1.C2.D3.A4. B5.A6. B7.C8. C9. B 10. DIII. ClozeDirections: Fill in the blanks in the following passage by selecting suitable words in proper forms from the Word Bank. You may not use any of the words more than once.1. sphere2. realm3. sacrifices4. manifestations5. exquisite6. involved7. exchange8. accomplished9. object 10. misfortune5.翻译下列段落。
至少今天阳光明媚。
我能看到从拉起的窗帘细小缝隙里透进的明亮的光线。
至少还没有看到那只猫的踪影,那只欺软怕硬的猫,它威胁着我的生存。
卧室的门只要开开一个缝,那只猫就想进来。
它会靠近我的笼子,用爪子抓笼子的栅条,有时,我还喜欢这讨厌的金属栅条可以保护我。
但现在,像那样的事情,我已经不在乎了,有时我甚至希望猫能把笼子的门抓开、邪恶地一把抓住我,几口吞吃了,那样至少一切就可以结束了。