生活大爆炸第四季第六集中英文剧本

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生活大爆炸第四季剧本 S04E22

Series 4 Episode 22 – The Wildebeest ImplementationScene: A public washroom. Amy and Penny are in cubicles, Bernadette is washing her hands.Amy: I must say, Penny, this is great fun.Penny: Glad you’re enjoying yourself.Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect.Bernadette: Amy, you must’ve been in the bathroom with other women before.Amy: Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit-chat. Bernadette: Some women don’t like to get chummy when their panties are down.Amy: You okay in there, bestie?Penny: I’m fine.Amy: The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness, the inability to pass urinePenny: Yeah, I said I’m fine. Stop talking to me.Amy: She always this crabby when she urinates?Bernadette: We’re really not that close.Penny: Screw it. I’ll go later.Amy: And I’ll be right by your side.Scene: A shoe shop.Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?Penny: Oh, that’s nice.Amy: No, it’s not. It’s a strategic manoeuvre. Leonard’s new girlfriend is testing Bernadette’s loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.Bernadette: You think?Amy: Of course. How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member. Bernadette: Well, what makes me the weakest member?Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn’t last a minute on the Serengeti. Penny: Okay, Amy, you’re being silly. I am not concerned about who hangs out with who. And I certainly don’t have a problem with Leonard’s new girlfriend who wears way too much makeup. Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I’ll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.Bernadette: It doesn’t matter. I’m going to tell her we can’t make it.Amy: Oh, no. You have to go.Bernadette: I don’t understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we’re going to use that to our advantage.Penny: Wait. What are you talking about?Amy: By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya’s tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as, Leonard’s no stranger to back-alley cockfights.Bernadette: I don’t know. I’m not a very good liar. They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school.Amy: Don’t worry. I’ll teach you. I did two ye ars of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.Penny: Okay, I don’t know you people. I’m just an innocent woman wondering if this shoe store will take my Texaco card.Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?Bernadette: I don’t want anything in my ample bosom.Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.Credits sequenceScene: the apartmentLeonard: Okay, see you later.Sheldon: Good news. I finally have a handle on my idea for three-person chess.Leonard: That is good news. Bye.Sheldon: Uh, do you know how I solved the balanced centre combat-area problem? Five words, transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.Leonard: That, that’s brilliant.Sheldon: It’s what I do.But wait, there’s more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent, and the old woman.Leonard: Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do?Sheldon: When the serpent slithers to an opposing player’s piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will d ie after two more moves. Ugh.Leonard: All right.Sheldon: Unless, it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress, a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent.Leonard: Elegant.Sheldon: That’s because it’s simple.Leonard: Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you.Sheldon: And…Leonard: And what?Sheldon: And a third person. It’s three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that.Leonard: Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life.Sheldon: Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn’t been such a hound dog, we’d all have time machines.Leonard: Got it. Bye.Sheldon: You know I’m right.Leonard(outside apartment): I think he’s getting worse.Amy: Oh, my metatarsal are barking.Leonard: You okay?Amy: Yeah, yeah. I’m just breaking in some new shoes.Leonard: Very pretty.Amy: Thank you. Did you know that women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts more prominent? Leonard: Hadn’t really thought about it.Amy: Look.Leonard: Uh, sure. Very… prominent.Amy: Please, Leonard, don’t leer, you have a girlfriend.Leonard: Sorry.Amy: So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?Leonard: Yeah. How did you know?Amy: I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, ’cause, you know, that’s kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.Scene: Raj’s apartment.Priya: Hey, you.Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I’d rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.Priya: Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?Raj: I have to feel sorry for myself. I’m the only one who cares. Just like I’m the only one who’ll have sex with me. Leonard: Really? In front of your sister?Priya: We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.Raj: Excuse me. I’m going to go wander the streets alone. Invisible, unwanted and unloved, a pathetic shadow in a city with no heart.(Leaves, then returns a moment later) I forgot my windbreaker. It’s chilly.Scene: Penny’s apartment.Amy: I don’t understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes?Penny: No. Once these puppies touch the ground they’re mine, and I’ll have to wear them walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off. Pretty, pretty, pretty.Amy: Good news: the wildebeest is in the curry.Penny: The what?Amy: Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard. Message received. Commence operation “Priya Wouldn’t WannaBe-ya.”Penny: Hey. Seriously? Didn’t you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?Amy: I wish. A clique r equires friends. I didn’t have any.Penny: None?Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop. Hang on. It’s the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career.Penny: Wh… What the hell did she say?Amy: She thinks it’s cool you’re following your dream, no matter what.Penny: That bitch!Amy: How do you want to handle it?Penny: Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I’m on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie. Amy: Got it. Is it going to be in 3-D?Penny: What? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.Amy: I’m gonna say 3-D. That’ll let her know the studio has faith in it.Scene: Raj’s apartment.Leonard:You’re kidding. 3-D?Bernadette: That’s what I hear.Howard: Then the studio must have real faith in it.Leonard: Wonder why she didn’t tell me.Priya: Have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend?Leonard: No.Priya: Then why are you surprised she didn’t tell you?Leonard: Well, it’s not as much surprised as, uh, uh, you know, uh. th-th-th-the other thing.Priya: What other thing?Leonard: Well, you know, if you, if, if, if you, uh, I don’t, oh, what’s the word I’m looking for?Howard: I’m not going to help you. This is hilarious.Bernadette: She’s also dating an astronaut.Priya: Wow. That’s very impressive.Bernadette: Yeah. But Leonard’s impressive, too.Leonard: Thank you. Befuddled. The word I was looking for was befuddled.Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is playing three person chess by himself.Sheldon: Knight to old woman six-and-a-third. Brilliant move. Thank you. (Knock on door) Will the two of you excuseme?Raj: I need a hug.Sheldon: Sorry, I have company.Raj: Come on, Sheldon, open the door.Sheldon: I don’t want to hug you.Raj: I don’t want to hug you, either. I was just feeling blue.Sheldon: Blue, as in depressed.Raj: Well, not so much depressed as lonely.Sheldon: I don’t know what colour lonely is.Raj: What?Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a colour to lonely.Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. It’s probably lonely.Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I don’t see that catching on at all.Raj: What are you doing?Sheldon: I’m working on my three-person chess game.Raj: Oh, cool. Can I play?Sheldon: It’s three-person chess. Did you bring a friend?Raj: No.Sheldon: Then as a mental exercise I invite you to figure out why the two of us can’t play three-person chess. Can you believe this guy? Social protocol does, however, require me to bring you a hot beverage in your time of need. Raj: No, thank you. I’m fine.Sheldon: It’s not optional. We’re out of tea. I hope you like bouillon.Raj: I, uh, I guess you’re probably wondering what’s got me down.Sheldon: Actually, I was wondering if I could add a third new chess piece. How do you think people would feel about Prince Joey, the king’s feeble-minded but well-meaning cousin?Raj: I’m going to be 30 years old, and I have no one in my life to love me. I’m such a basket case, I can’t even talk to a woman without having alcohol in my body.Sheldon: The fun thing about Prince Joey is every time he moves, there’s a one-in-five chance he’ll kill himself. Raj: Sheldon, listen to me. I have a big decision to make, and I’m scared.Sheldon: Yellow. Go ahead.Raj: A friend at the School of Pharmacology gave me these new pills they’re testing. He says it’s the next big thing for social anxiety disorder.Sheldon: Fascinating. What’s in it?Raj: I’m not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker attached to a molecule extracted from the urine of cows.Sheldon: I like cows.Raj: That’s not the point.Sheldon: It was its own point. Go on.Raj: I’m a scientist. My ability to think is my bread and butter. I’m afraid if I take this, I might lose that special, unique something that makes me so successful in my field.Sheldon: Rajesh, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My recommendation is that y ou gobble these up like Tic Tacs.Scene: Raj’s apartment.Howard: Okay, I’m still trying to work this out. How did Penny meet an astronaut?Bernadette: I don’t know. The regular way people meet astronauts.Howard: Most of those guys live in Texas.Bernadette: Obviously, this one doesn’t.Howard: Okay.Bernadette: Leonard lives here. Priya’s from India. People meet, Howard. God!Howard: Fine.Bernadette: You’ve met lots of astronauts, and I’ve never grilled you about that. I’d thank you to extend me the same courtesy.Howard: I’m not grilling you, I was just curious.Leonard: I still can’t get over the fact that she got a big movie part. Not that I care what my ex-girlfriend’s up to, ’cause I don’t.Bernadette: Maybe that’s where she met the astronaut, all right?Priya: I’m sorry. What would an astronaut be doing working on a movie?Bernadette: He’s a consultant.Leonard: I thought the movie was about 18th-century Vienna?Bernadette: He can’t have a hobby? Excuse me, I have to pee. Or is that implausible, as well?Howard: It’s nice to have another couple to hang with, isn’t it?Scene: Penny’s apartment.Penny(to the shoes): All right, guys, you have to go back. I can’t afford you. “No, don’t sendus away, we love you.” I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent. “But, Penny, you look so good in us.” Damn it, the shoes are right.Amy: Good golly, Penny, your whimsy is boundless. (Phone rings) What do you got for me, wildebeest? Bernadette(in Raj’s bathroom): I think they’re on to me. The story’s starting to fall apart.Amy: Calm down. Everything’s going to be okay. (To Penny) We may have to kill her. Bernadette, I’m putting you on speakerphone. Where are you now?Bernadette: In the bathroom.Amy: Oh, look at this, another one of our classic bathroom gabfe sts. What’s the problem?Bernadette: They’re just asking me all sorts of questions I can’t answer.Amy: Just change the subject.Bernadette: I suppose I could get them back to talking about Leonard going to India to meet Priya’s parents. Penny: What?Bernadette: They said something about going there this summer.Penny: What, are they getting engaged?Bernadette: I don’t know. I was too busy covering my heinie on Amy’s stupid astronaut story!Amy: What astronaut story?Bernadette: You texted me Penny’s dating an astronaut.Amy: I texted architect. That’s amusing. Auto-correct must’ve changed it.Bernadette: Yeah, it’s hysterical.Penny: All right, look, just forget about the astronaut.Amy: Architect. Where would you have met an astronaut?Penny: Look, j ust find out what’s up with this trip to India.Bernadette: I don’t want to do this anymore!Penny: Don’t you quit on us!Howard(knocking on bathroom door): Bernie, you okay?Bernadette(screaming): It was an architect!Scene: A coffee shop.Raj: Thank you for coming with me, Sheldon. You’re a good friend.Sheldon: I’m glad you think so. That’s what I strive to emulate.Raj: Okay, let’s see if this drug works.Womanattable: Can I help you?Raj: Forgive me for staring, but you’re very beautiful.Woman: Thank you. That’s a great accent. Where are you from?Raj: India.Woman: Oh, cool. I’ve always wanted to go there.Raj: It’s a beautiful country. You’d love it. May I join you?Woman: Uh, okay, sure. Why not?Raj: My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and this is my friend Dr. Sheldon Cooper.Woman: Hi.Sheldon: Oh, there’s no need to interact with me. I’m just here to observe.Woman: What’s he observing?Raj: We’re scientists. We observe everything. Here, go buy yourself a scone.Sheldon: All right.Raj: And what is your name?Woman: Angela.Raj: Oh, derived from the word angel. Appropriate.Angela: You’re cute.Sheldon: I’d like to buy a scone.Server: Oh, I’m sorry, we’re out. We have muffins.Sheldon: They sound delicious, but this money is earmarked for scones.Angela: What are you doing?Raj(taking his shirt off): Oh, just getting comfortable. So how long have you lived in Los Angeles?Angela: I…Sheldon: They were out of scones.Raj(removing his trousers): Sheldon, I’m talking to someone. You’re being rude. I’ll bet you’re an actress. If not, you should be. You have a very expressive face.Angela: Oh, my God.Raj: Wait, where are you going? We were doing so well. She never even got to see my penis. Ta-da!Scene: Raj’s apartment. They are playing Jenga,Priya: Who wants some more coffee?Leonard: Thanks, yeah.Howard: Sure.Bernadette: Let me help you.Howard: Nice to see that the gals are getting along.Leonard: Gals? Who are you, Fred Flintstone?Bernadette: This trip to India sounds fun.Priya: Yeah, I think it will be.Bernadette: Are you concerned your parents might not approve of Leonard?Priya: A little. They’re very old-fashioned.Bernadette: Well, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like you guys are getting engaged, right?Priya: Oh, God, no. W e’re not there yet.Bernadette: Not engaged. Very interesting. I have to tinkle.Priya: You’ve been in there a lot tonight. Are you okay?Bernadette: Yes. Are you writing a book?Priya: Why are you getting upset?Bernadette: I’m not upset. Maybe you’re ups et.Priya: What’s up with you? Bernadette?Bernadette: I can’t do this anymore! I’m a good girl! I went to Catholic school! (Storms out,)Howard: Okay, well, it’s getting late. This was terrific. You win. Bernie?Leonard: I think the word you’re looking fo r is befuddled.Scene: The apartment. Sheldon, Leonard and Howard are playing three person chess.Sheldon: My catapult flings my bishop to Howard’s Queen’s Gorilla two.Howard: Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad. And he comes out at Leonard’s Queen’s Bishopfive-and-a-third. Check on Leonard.Leonard: Hang on. When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart?Sheldon: When it’s done charging. Or you land on the time machine. Obviously.Leonard: Oh, oh, Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your Pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon. Sheldon: I knew I should have given my Pope the jet pack.Raj(still naked): Hey, I’ve got winners.。

生活大爆炸第一季集剧本中英文台词

横26是“MCM”..
14 down is... move your finger...Phylum; which makes 14 across "Port-au-Prince"
竖14是……你手挡住了……是门;所以说横14是“太子港”
see; "Papa Doc's capital idea"; that's "Port-au-Prince".
噢;好的;看来我是新邻居了..Penny..
-Leonard: Leonard. Sheldon.
Leonard Sheldon..
-Penny: hi.
嗨
-Sheldon: hi.
嗨
-Penny: hi.
嗨
-Leonard: hi.
嗨
-Leonard: Well; uh... oh; uh; welcome to the building.
你看;“Papa Doc提示了;所以是太子港..
-Woman: Can I help you
需要我帮忙嘛
-Leonard: Yes. Um... is this the high-IQ sperm bank
是的..这里是高智商精子库嘛
-Woman: If you have to ask; maybe you shouldn't be here.
-Sheldon: Are you still mad about the sperm bank
你还在为精子库的事生气吗
-Leonard: No.
没..
-Sheldon: You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs

生活大爆炸第一季剧本台词中英文对照1.06

第一季 6 集：The Middle Earth Paradigm -Rajesh: Okay, if no one else will say I will. We really suck at paintball. -Howard: That was absolutely humiliating. -Leonard: Oh, come on! Some battles you win, some battles you lose. -Rajesh: Yes, but you don't have to lose to Kyle Burnsteen Bar Mitzvah Party. -Leonard: I think we have to acknowledge, those was some fairly savage pre-adolescent Jews. [they lost to a group of kids...] -Sheldon: No, we were annihilated by our own incompetence and the inability of some people to follow the chain of command. -Leonard: Sheldon, let it go! -Sheldon: No, I want to talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back. -Howard: I shot you for good reason. You were leading us into disaster! -Sheldon: I was giving clear, concise orders. -Leonard: You hid behind a tree yelling, "Get the kid in the yarmulke! Get the kid in the yarmulke!" (a small circular cap worn by Jewish men) -Penny: Oh, hey, guys. -Men：Oh, hello.Hey. -Howard: Morning, madam. -Penny: So, how was paintball Did you have fun -Sheldon: Sure, if you consider being fragged by your own troops fun. You clear space on your calendar - there will be an inquiry. -Penny: Hey, I'm having a party on Saturday, so if you guys are around, you should come on by. -Leonard: A party -Penny: Yeah. -Howard: A... "boy-girl" party -Penny: Well, there will be boys and there will be girls and it is a party, so... It'll be a bunch of my friends. We'll have some beer, do a little dancing... -Sheldon: Dancing -Leonard: Yeah, I don't know, Penny... -Sheldon: The thing is, we're not... -Leonard: No, we're really more of a...No. But thanks. Thanks for thinking of us. -Penny: Are you sure Come on, it's Halloween. -Sheldon: A Halloween party -Howard: As in... costumes -Penny: Well, yeah. -Leonard: Is there a theme -Penny: Uh... Yeah, Halloween. -Sheldon: Yes, but are the costumes random, or genre-specific -Penny: As usual, I'm not following. -Leonard: He's asking if we can come as anyone from science fiction, fantasy... -Penny: Sure. -Sheldon: What about comic books -Penny: Fine. -Sheldon: Anime -Penny: of course. -Sheldon: TV, film, D&D, manga, Greek gods, Roman gods, Norse gods... -Penny: Anything you want! Okay Any costume you want. -Penny: Bye. -Howard: Gentlemen, to the sewing machines. -Leonard: I'll get it. Oh, no! -Sheldon: Oh, no! -Rajesh: Make way for the fastest man alive! Oh, no! -Sheldon: See, this is why I wanted to have a costume meeting. -Leonard: We all have other costumes. We can change. -Rajesh: Or we could walk right behind each other all night -Rajesh: and look like one person going really fast. -Howard: No, no, no. It's a boy-girl party, this Flash runs solo. -Leonard: Okay. How about this Nobody gets to be The Flash. We all change. Agreed -Men: Agreed. -Leonard: I call Frodo! -Men: Damn! -Rajesh: Sorry I'm late, but my hammer got stuck in the door on the bus. -Leonard: You went with Thor -Rajesh: What Just because I'm Indian I can't be a Norse god No-no-no. Raj has to be an Indian god. That's racism. I mean, look at Wolowitz. 好吧，如果没人说那就我来说。我们在彩弹比赛中的表现实在太差了！真是太丢人了。好啦！有时候你会赢，有时候你会输嘛。是的，但你没必要输给一帮凯恩斯威尔的 Bar Mitzvah 我想我们必须明白，他们是一些相当野性的青春期前期犹太人。 [他们输给了一群小孩子...] 不，我们是被自己的不在状态弄死的，有些人没能力跟上指令。 Sheldon, 让它去吧！不，我想说的事实是，Wolowitz 射了我的背！我射你有很好的理由。你把我们领向了灾难！我给出了清晰而又简明的指令你躲在一棵树后面叫“对付那个带亚莫克便帽的小子，对付那个带亚莫克便帽的小子” 哦，嘿，朋友们哦, 你好.嘿. 早，小姐. 那么, 彩弹怎么样你们玩得开心伐当然，如果你觉得被自己队伍的人杀掉很有趣的话。把你们的日程安排好，有事要找你们周六我这儿有一个聚会，如果你们到时候在这里的话，你们应该过来一个聚会是的. 一个... "男孩-女孩" 聚会对, 会有些男孩子。而且也会有女孩，并且它是一个聚会，所以...... 到时有些我的朋友来。我们会喝点啤酒，跳跳舞之类...... 跳舞是的, 我不知道, Penny... 事情是,我们不... 不,我们更多是...不. 但谢谢。谢谢你邀请我们。你确定伐来吧，是万圣节嘛。万圣节聚会是不是......需要化妆的那种嗯, 是吧. 有没有什么主题恩... 是啊, 万圣节. 是的, 但是是随意装扮，还是有什么特别的类型跟往常一样，我不太明白。他是在问我们是否能打扮成科幻或非现实中的人物...... 当然那漫画书呢？可以啊。日本动漫？当然当然。电视,电影，古希腊众神, 古罗马众神, 古挪威众神... 什么都可以! 好吗什么角色都可以。再见。先生们，找缝纫机。我来开。噢, 不! 噢, 不! 给最快的人一条路走! 噢, 不! 看到吧，所以我希望开一个关于扮演角色的会我们都有别的扮演角色——我们可以换的。或者我们可以整晚跟在每个人后面走看上去像是一个人走得非常快不, 不, 不.这是一个男孩女孩聚会, 但闪电侠独来独往。好吧，那这个怎么样没人扮演闪电侠. 我们都改，同意吗？同意我演 Frodo! 该死! 对不起我迟到了，但我的锤子被公车车门夹住了。你扮演雷神什么？就因为我是印度人我就不能是雷神不不不. Raj 才是印度的神. 那是种族主义我的意思是，看看 Wolowitz.

生活大爆炸第四季剧本 S04E21

Series 4 Episode 21 – The Agreement DissectionScene: The bathroomSheldon: Leonard, are you in the shower?Leonard: I can’t hear you, I’m in the shower.Sheldon: I asked if you were in the shower, but that’s moot now.Leonard: What?Sheldon: Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events.Leonard: I can’t hear you, I’m in the shower.Sheldon: I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency.Leonard: What kind of emergency?Sheldon: Mathematical. 32-ounce banana smoothie, 16-ounce bladder.Leonard: You might not want to do that.Sheldon: I assure you I do.Leonard: Sheldon, I’m not alone in here.Sheldon: What?Priya: Hello, Sheldon.Sheldon: What are you doing in there? She can’t be in here.Leonard: We were in here first, you can’t be in here.Sheldon: According to the roommate agreement, paragraph nine, subsection B, the right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of force majeure. And believe me, I am experiencing a very majeure force.Sheldon: Come on, you can’t wait two minutes?Priya: Oh, Leonard, let the man pee.Scene: Penny’s door.Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny?Penny: What?Sheldon: Move. Move. Move!Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon: Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, you are officially charged with two violations of the roommate agreement. Do you waive reading of the charges?Leonard: Yeah, fine.Priya: Hang on. No, my client does not waive reading of the charges.Leonard: Oh. Cool. I’ve got a lawyer. And I’ve seen her nak ed.Priya: Proceed.Sheldon: Very well. Count the first, on or about the 28th day of April, the accused did knowingly and with malice aforethought deny access to the shared bathroom in a time of emergency, to wit, my back teeth were floating. Count the second, the accused exceeded the agreed upon occupancy of the shower, to wit, one, unless we are under attack by water-soluble aliens.Priya: Can I see the roommate agreement?Sheldon: Um, it’s fairly technical.Priya: I think I can handle it.Leonard: Top of her class, Cambridge University. Licensed to practice law in three countries.And your face. Priya: All right, based on a cursory reading, it doesn’t look like you have much of a case, Sheldon.Sheldon: Do so, do so.Priya: Oh, I’m afraid not. Section seve n here, on the right to enter the bathroom in emergency situations, is notspecific as to what constitutes an emergency.Sheldon: Oh, that’s ridiculous. A bathroom emergency is self-explanatory.Priya: Is it? If Leonard forgot to trim his nose hair, could he barge in while you were showering?Sheldon: Irrelevant. Leonard doesn’t trim his nose hair. He thinks because he’s short nobody can see up there. Priya: My point is, Sheldon, the legal principle is ambiguity in a contract benefits the party that did not draft it, in this case, Leonard. So much for count one.Sheldon: But…Priya: There’s no buts, Sheldon, that’s how the law works.Leonard: Schooled!Priya: As for the shower capacity issue, I cite addendum J. When Sheldon showers second, any and all measures shall be taken to ensure an adequate supply of hot water. I believe this supercedes the occupancy issue. Leonard: Superceded!Sheldon: This isn’t over.Leonard: No offence, but shower sex with you is now the second best thing that’s happened today.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Mmm, Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we’ve done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.Priya: Seriously?Howard(in Stephen Hawking voice): I wish to discuss your theories of black holes. Meet me at the Randy’s Donut by the airport at 2:00 a.m.Sheldon: What is that you’re eating? Tonight is pizza night.Leonard: I’d like to refer that to my attorney.Priya: According to what I see here, Thursday nights are Franconi’s pizza night.Sheldon: Yes, and when Franconi’s went out of business, we switched to Graziano’s.Howard: That’s interesting. Can you just switch restaurants like that, Priya?Priya: A good question, Howard. Turns out you can’t. According to the document you drew up, Sheldon, the selection of a new takeout restaurant requires public hearings and a 60-day comment period. Were those criteria met?Sheldon: No.All: Opa!Sheldon: This is Greek food? Leonard, you hate Greek food.Leonard: Not as much as you.Sheldon: Fine. I’m nothing if not adaptable.Leonard: I got you the lamb kabob.Sheldon: Thank you. If you think about it, Greek food isn’t that far from italian food. They share a spice palette. And what a civilization is the Greeks. They gave us science, democracy, and little cubes of charred meat that taste like sweat.Scene: Penny’s door.Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny?Penny: Hey. What’s up?Sheldon: The mean Indian lady tried to make me eat lamb. Congratulations. Pizza night will now be at your apartment. Order one.Penny: Oh, I’m sorry, honey, I’m meeting Amy and Bernadette for dinner. But you’re welcome to tag along. Sheldon: A girls night? Oh, I don’t know if I’m up for a n evening talking about rainbows, unicorns and menstrual cramps.Penny: Okay, suit yourself. We’ll probably be trashing Priya a little.Sheldon: Shotgun.Scene: A bar.Penny: Okay, I’d like to propose a toast to a wonderful girls night out.Amy: Fair warning, we can get ker-razy.Bernadette: Yeah. Last week we smoked cigars and pretended to be dragons.Sheldon: Really, Amy? Tobacco and alcohol? Need I remind you not a lot of scientific discoveries were made by people having a good time?Amy: Why did you bring him? He’s harshing my buzz.Penny: I felt sorry for him. Priya’s giving him a hard time.Bernadette: Ooh, the Priya bashing’s starting early. Yay! Okay, what’s up with those pantsuits?Amy: I need some context.Penny: Pantsuits suck.Amy: And that opens her up To justifiable ridicule for wearing them. Good one, Bernadette. See? Ker-razy.Scene: The same, later.Bernadette: Whee-ee-ee!Amy: You smell like baby powder.Sheldon: It’s talc. But as that’s a primary ingredient of baby powder, I understand your confusion.Amy: Oh, I’m not confused at all. You’re like a sexy toddler.Sheldon: I don’t know how to process that.Bernadette: I do. Amy and Sheldon sitting in a tree.K-I-S-S-S-S-I-N-G.Penny: That’s too many S’s for kissing.Bernadette: Not if they’re doing it for a long time.Penny: Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?Sheldon: Other than my mother, my sister and my mee-maw, no. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus and had to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to an elderly nun who passed out from heat exhaustion. Every year I get a Christmas card from her, signed with far too many X’s and O’s.Bernadette: That doesn’t count. Aren’t you even a little curious?Penny: Yeah, you’re a scientist, where is the curiosity?Amy: I’m available for experimentation.Sheldon: Thank you. Not necessary. We know everything there is to know about kissing. It requires 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles.Amy: Oh, blah, blah, blah. Give me some sugar, bestie(kisses Penny).Sheldon: I’m certainly glad no one said they were curious about Aztec human sacrifice.Penny: Hey, I know, let’s take Sheldon dancing.Bernadette: Oh, I totally want to see Sheldon dance. I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.Sheldon: No, thank you, bu t for the record, I’m an excellent dancer. Proficient in the rumba, waltz and cha-cha. Amy: Really?Sheldon: I don’t see why that’s surprising. I excel at so many things. You’ve had my sourdough bread.Penny: Did you take dance lessons?Sheldon: Against my will. In the South, pre-adolescent children are forced through a process called cotillion, which indoctrinates them with all the social graces and dance skills needed to function in 18th century Vienna. Penny: Oh, we are so taking you dancing.Sheldon: No, you most certainly are not.Bernadette: Well, what does your cotillion training say is expected of a gentleman when three ladies ask him to escort them to a dance soiree?Sheldon: I saved a nun’s life. Why am I being punished?Scene: A taxi.Penny: Take us to a place we can waltz.Taxidriver: Where you can what?Sheldon: Waltz. It’s a social dance from Austria, choreographed to a three-four time signature. (Sings Blue Danube. The taxi driver says something into radio in Korean. The word “waltz” is includ ed. Dispatcher replies also in Korean. Taxi driver sings Blue Danube. Dispatcher says “oh, waltz!” They speak Korean some more. )TaxiDriver: Here we go.Amy(singing): I kissed a girl and I liked it, I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.Sheldon: What happened to you?Scene: A Korean ballroom dancing club. Sheldon and Amy are dancing.Penny: Shake it baby, shake it!Bernadette: Muycaliente, Sheldon!ElderlyKoreanGentleman: Care to dance?Bernadette: Oh, I’m sorry, I’m engaged.Korean: How about you?Penny: Oh, what the hell. Ooh!Scene: Outside Amy’s apartment.Amy: How come if we’re the smart people, we don’t do this every night?Sheldon: What’s 16 times 14?Amy: My burps taste like cranberry juice.Sheldon: And there’s your answer.Amy: Would you like to come in for a nightcap?Sheldon: If you’re referring to the beverage, you know I don’t drink. If you’re referring to the hat you don while wearing a nightshirt and holding a candle, I have one.Amy: I have yoo-hoo.Sheldon: It’s hard to say no to yoo-hoo. The name literally beckons.Amy: Make yourself comfortable.Sheldon: Thank you. Is someone smoking?Amy: Oh, that’s just Ricky.Sheldon: You own a smoking monkey?Amy: Don’t be silly. He’s one of the animals in my department’s nicotine addiction study.Sheldon: What’s he doing here?Amy: I’m giving him emphysema. The least I can do is let him hang out and watch cable.Sheldon: Remarkable. Aren’t you worried about secondhand smoke?Amy: A little. The real danger is him biting my face off while I’m sleeping.Sheldon: is he deliberately blowing smoke at me?Amy: Yeah. He’s kind of an ass.Sheldon: Thank you. May I share something with you that’s troubling me?Amy: Of course. What’s rattling around that big bulbous brain of yours?Sheldon: Priya has essentially nullified my roommate agreement with Leonard, making life in the apartment very uncomfortable for me.Amy: And you want me to kill her? Done.Sheldon: No, of course not.Amy: I trained Ricky how to smoke. I can train him to shoot a poison dart. No jury wou ld convict us ’cause people love monkeys.Sheldon: I understand the alcohol has stirred up whatever it is that makes girls go wild, but I really need to talk to smart Amy now.Amy: Excuse me. Have you considered that your intelligence might be the very thing causing your dilemma?Sheldon: No.Amy: What do you think Ricky over here would do if an interloper encroached on his territory?Sheldon: Well, when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance through chasing, assault and a stylized penile disp lay. That’s a little outside my comfort zone.Amy: You’re being too literal. My point is, he would not meekly surrender to the rules, and neither should you. Sheldon: Are you suggesting I play dirty?Amy: Yes, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Which brings me to our next order of business.(Kisses him)Sheldon: Fascinating.Amy: I hope you don’t take what I’m about to do as a comment on what we just did. (Runs to bathroom and vomits)Sheldon(to Ricky): Who’s to say you shouldn’t be dissecting our brains? You really are an ass.Scene: The apartment.Leonard: Morning, Sheldon.Sheldon: Oh, good, you’re up. I’ve written a new and improved roommate agreement that benefits me greatly. I’d like you to sign it.Leonard: Why would I want to do that?Sheldon: Excellent question. Do you remember what happened to the alien, played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin, in the Star Trek episode Let That Be Your Last Battlefield?Leonard: Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self-destruct sequence and threatened to blow up the Enterpriseand kill them both unless he gave in?Sheldon: Affirmative. Computer, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Activate self-destruct sequence. Code 1-1-A-2-B. Female Voice: Self-destruct sequence activated.Leonard: What are you gonna do, Sheldon, blow up the apartment?Sheldon: That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here.Priya: So what happens when it counts down?Sheldon: Unless Leonard signs the new agreement in the next 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your paren ts in India saying that you’re in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-marshmallow-fluff Leonard Hofstadter.Priya: Oh, my God.Leonard: What’s the big deal?Priya: Trust me, it’s a big deal.Leonard: They’re gonna find out about me eventually, right?Priya: Yeah, of course, just not today.Sheldon: 20 seconds.Leonard: Are you ashamed of me?Priya: Of course not.Leonard: Then why can’t we tell your parents?Priya: Please, don’t push this.Sheldon: He does that all the time, doesn’t he? 15.Priya: Okay, fine, Sheldon, you win. Turn it off.Leonard: No, he’s bluffing.Sheldon: I never bluff. Ten.Leonard: It’s blackmail!Sheldon: Nine.Priya: We give up.Sheldon: Eight.Leonard: This is ridiculous. (Pulls out plug)Sheldon: It’s a laptop with a full charge. Honestly, what do you see in him?Priya: Give him what he wants or we’re done.Sheldon: Three.Leonard: Really?Sheldon: Two.Leonard: Okay, I’ll sign it!FemaleVoice: Self-destruct sequence aborted.Sheldon: You may have gone to Cambridge, but I’m an honorary graduate of Starfleet academy.Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is at his laptop.Sheldon: Good morning, Amy.Amy: It most assuredly is not.Sheldon: Are you experiencing dehydration, headache, nausea and shame?Amy: Yes. I also found a Korean man’s business card tucked into my cleavage. What happened last night? Sheldon: Ah, memory impairment, the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.Amy: Sheldon?Sheldon: All right. Last night you gave me some excellent advice regarding my problem here at home, you kissed me and then vomited on and off for 40 minutes, following which you passed out on your bathroom floor. I then folded a towel under your head as a pillow, set your oven clock to the correct time because it was driving me crazy, and I left.Amy: Okay. Don’t really know where we go from here.Sheldon: I suggest we treat our relationship as if it were a crashed computer and restore it to the last point we both agree it worked.Amy: Terrific. Thank you. (Noise of Ricky in background) They were out of menthols! Get off my back! Not easy living with a temperamental little primate.Leonard(off): Come on, Priya, just admit I embarrass you!Sheldon: You’re preaching to the choir, sister.。

生活大爆炸第四季第十四集剧本

The Big Bang Theory第四季 14集-Sheldon: Good evening.晚上好，I'm your guest lecturer, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.guest lecturer: 客座讲授 Dr.: 博士（doctor）我是你们的客座讲师 Sheldon Cooper教授。

I was expecting applause,expect: 期待 applause: 鼓掌欢迎我期待掌声的出现，but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.suppose: 认为 stun: 震惊 silence: 沉默 equally: 同样的 appropriate: 适当的不过我认为震惊到不知所措同样合适。

I agreed to speak to you this evening,agree: 同意 speak: 演讲我今晚愿意来给你们上课，because I was told that you're the best and the brightest of this university's doctoral candidates. brightest: 最聪明的 university: 大学 doctoral: 博士的 candidate: 应试者是因为我听说你们是这所大学的博士生中最聪慧最优秀的。

Hmm. Of course, that's like saying you are the most important electron in a hydrogen atom. electron: 电子 hydrogen: [化学]氢 atom: 原子恩，当然，这就像是在说你们是氢原子中最重要的电子。

Cause, you see,你们也知道，there's only one electron in a hydrogen atom.氢原子中只有一个电子。

生活大爆炸第四季剧本 S04E24

S4E24 – The Hot Troll DeviationScene: The Cheesecake Factory.Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order?Howard: Uh, sure.Penny: Okay, Priya?Priya : Uh, I'll have the shepherd's pie. You want to split that with me?Penny: Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't.Priya : Why not?Penny: Well, you have milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, parmesan crust. Your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas-filled Macy's Day balloon.Sheldon: Not quite accurate. The Macy's balloons are filled with helium, whereas Leonard produces copiousamounts of methane.Leonard: So, no, on the shepherd's pie. Can we move on?Penny: Yeah, a little tip: he says he can eat frozen yogurt. Do not believe it.Leonard: Sea bass! I'll have the sea bass!Howard: You gotta like this, the girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty. Leonard: Kill me.Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death. Bernadette: Guys, sorry I'm late. I have amazing news.Sheldon: Bernadette, before you change the subject, does anyone have any final comments on Leonard's faulty digestive system?Leonard: So, what's your news, Bernadette?Bernadette: The thesis committee accepted my doctoral dissertation. I'm getting my PhD!All: Wow!Sheldon: Oh, congratulations.Penny: Wow, so that means you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, and Howard, you know a lot of doctors.Howard: Congratulations, honey.Bernadette: Thank you.Leonard: So, Howard, tell us, how's it feel knowing that when you two get married, you'll be referred to as Mr. and Dr. Wolowitz?Sheldon: Unless he takes Bernadette's last name. And considering her advanced status, that could open some doors for him.Howard: Please, this isn't about me. I'm proud of you.Bernadette: Well, you'll be really be proud of this. I was headhunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're gonna pay me a buttload of money!Howard: What?Leonard: Bernadette, that's great. Howard, do you make a buttload?Howard: Better than what you've got a buttload of.Leonard: Hey, if I roll down the windows in the car, everything's peachy. If you do it, you're still not a doctor.Penny: Yeah, just a heads-up on the car window deal. It helps, but everything is not "peachy."Credits sequenceScene: Raj’s apartment.Raj(singing): Oh, if there was a problem, you can't solve it, Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it Ice, Ice, baby, Ice, Ice, baby .Priya :Oh, God, I feel ridiculous in this dress.Leonard: You look beautiful, Lieutenant Uhura. Now prepare for... inspection.Priya: My brother's going to hear you.Leonard: Relax, he's got headphones on. And we're ten miles above Earth in a starship.Raj : Really, ten miles? You're orbiting inside the atmosphere? Moron.Priya: I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume.Leonard: I can't believe you think he only wears it on Halloween. Open the landing bay doors, shuttle craft approaching.Raj: Okay, gotta go.Scene: Howard’s apartment.Howard: Hey, what's up?Mrs Wolowitz(off): Is that my future daughter-in-law, the doctor?!Howard: No, Ma! It's Raj!Mrs Wolowitz(off): He's a doctor too, right?!Howard: Yes!Mrs Wolowitz(off): Like Leonard and the skinny weirdo!Howard: Sheldon, yes! Everybody's a doctor but me!Mrs Wolowitz(off): Well, whose fault is that?!Howard: What's up?Raj: Leonard's putting disgusting memories in my memory foam mattress. Can I stay here tonight? Howard: Sure, but I'm going out with Bernadette. It'll just be you and my mother.Raj: I guess that's okay.Howard: Ma, can Rajesh sleep over?!Mrs Wolowitz(off): Of course, he and I can play doctor!Raj: She's kidding, right?Howard: I don't know, she's pretty feisty since they put her on hormone-replacement therapy.Mrs Wolowitz(off): Paging Dr. Cutie Pie!Scene: The apartmentSheldon: I must say, Amy, I was very impressed to see that Bernadette got her PhD.Amy: It's indeed admirable. Although, it is... microbiology.Sheldon: Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction.Amy: I'll make it simple for you. I study the brain, the organ responsible for Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Lite. Is there something wrong with your neck?Sheldon: It's a little stiff. What a remarkably fragile structure to support such a valuable payload.Not unlike balancing a Faberge egg on a Pixie Stick.Amy: Have you considered massage?Sheldon: I'd like to respond to that sarcastically. Yes, I relish the thought of a stranger covering my body with oil and rubbing it.Amy: I was proposing you massage your muscles with your own hands.Sheldon: Still sounds like a lot of unnecessary touching.Amy: Trust me. With your right hand, locate the spot where the scapula meets the acromion process. Sheldon: All right.Amy: Now push your third finger along the ridge of the shoulder blade, making a small rotation as you do so.Sheldon: Rotating.Amy: You should feel a small node-like object rolling back and forth along the bone.Sheldon: You mean the myofascial point?Amy: Obviously. Now bear down on it like the seventh grade noogies we all know too well.Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, yes, yes, oh, yes! Amy, I've never been touched like this before! Oh! My hands are magic!Amy: Don't flatter yourself. Your hands are blunt tools guided by my knowledge of the nervous system. I could just as easily have paralyzed you.Sheldon: There's someone at my door.Amy: That doesn't interest me. Good-bye.Raj: Can I sleep here tonight?Sheldon: Why?Raj: Leonard's having astronomically inaccurate Star Trek sex with my sister.</i>Sheldon: I can see how that would be e in. I'll get the sheets and blankets for the couch. Raj: Oh, don't bother. I'll just sleep in Leonard's room.Sheldon: No, I can't authorize that.Raj: Well, he's in my bed. Why can't I be in his?Sheldon: The Hammurabic Code is "an eye for an eye," not "a bed for a bed."Raj: Come on, dude, I'm exhausted, and Tyra Banks says the most important item in your makeup bag is a good night's sleep.Sheldon: All right. This is a form indemnifying me from your use of "Leonard's bedroom." Sign here, indicating that I tried to stop you and did so using a stern facial expression.Raj: Good night, Sheldon.Sheldon:Wait. Not yet. We still have to go over safety procedures. Now, the apartment has three emergency exits located here, here, and here. In the event of a power outage, luminous paint will guide you to the nearest exit.Raj: You're kidding.Sheldon: I never kid about safety.Scene: Leonard’s bedroomLeonard: What are you doing here?Raj: I was sleeping.Leonard: In my bed?Raj: Well, I would've slept in my own bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family. And the memory of Gene Roddenberry.Leonard: Oh, you heard?Raj: "Scotty, I need more power."Leonard: Sorry. Does Sheldon know you're sleeping in here?Raj: Are you kidding? He made me sign a waiver, participate in an emergency fire drill and take a refresher course in CPR. Thank God he had a dummy.Leonard: Oh, yeah. Mouth-to-Mouth Mona. You know, she used to date Howard?Raj: Oh, my God, she's that Mona? Why can't you and my sister spend your nights here?Leonard: We tried. She doesn't get along with Sheldon.Raj: Sheldon doesn't get along with Sheldon. It's still no reason for me to have to listen to you arm your photon torpedoes every night.Leonard: Okay, well, how about this: until Priya gets her own place, you stay here and I'll stay at yourapartment.Raj: Can I bring girls here?Leonard: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.Raj: Okay, deal.Leonard:Scene: The University Cafeteria.Leonard: You really think you should be eating that cake?Howard: Why?Leonard: If you're gonna be a trophy husband for a rich wife, you might want to watch your waistline. Raj: He's right. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.Howard: Yeah, ha-ha.First of all, I'm not threatened by my fiance's success. I'm proud of her. And secondly, I have my own career.Howard: Until you have kids.Sheldon: Good news, Raj. I got the blood work back from the lab. You're okay to stay for a while.Raj: When did you take my blood?Sheldon: Not important. Your sugar was a little high. I'd follow up with your regular physician. In the meantime, I have some paperwork here for you to go over.Raj: What the hell is this?Sheldon: Boilerplate stuff. A modified roommate agreement for a temporary house guest, and a living will and durable power of attorney.Raj: This says you can make "end of life" decisions for me.Sheldon: As your friend, let's hope it doesn't come to that. Please sign.Raj: Did you sign this?Leonard: There's a reciprocity clause. You get to pull the plug on him, too.Raj: Well, that seems fair.Sheldon: Congratulations and welcome temporarily aboard. Here's your I.D. card, your key and your lapel pin. Which Leonard was too cool to wear. FYI, part of your responsibilities as roommate pro tem will be to drive me to and from work, the comic book store, the barbershop and the park for one hour every other Sunday for fresh air.Leonard: Bring a ball or a Frisbee, you know, something he can chase.Sheldon: Also, you're tasked with bringing home all takeout dinners. Tonight is Thai food. You'll find the standard order in appendix B or downloadable from my FTP server. If you have any questions, here's the FAQ sheet, or if you prefer the human touch, I do a live web chat called "Apartment Talk" on Tuesday nights.Leonard: No backsies.Scene: The apartmentRaj: Sheldon, dinner!Sheldon: What is this?Raj: This is the difference between eating and dining.Sheldon: Remarkable. I'm just realizing how much Leonard's been skating by all these years.Raj: It's not a big thing. Just think of me as a brown Martha Stewart.Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.Penny: Thanks. Wow! What's with the fancy spread?Sheldon: My new roommate is bending over backwards to ingratiate himself to me. Uh, nice touch, by the way.Penny: What do you mean "new roommate"? What happened to Leonard?Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo erectus. He was replaced by a superior species. Raj: I'm the new Homo in town. That came out wrong.Penny: All right, let me try this again. Where's Leonard?Raj: He's living at my place, so I'm living here.Sheldon: You're living here provisionally. But I must say it's looking good.Penny: Wow. Leonard and Priya are living together? That's big.Sheldon: No. Origami napkin swans... that's the headline.Raj: It's a good thing.Scene: Howard’s bedroom.Howard: So do you know what kind of research you'll be doing at this pharmaceutical company? Bernadette: Well, there are a couple of opportunities available, but I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project. I mean, it's not like either one of us has heart disease. Oh, I almost forgot. I got you a little present.Howard: Oh, Bernie, no. You didn't have to.Bernadette: I wanted to. Come on, open it.Howard: You bought me a Rolex? How much did this cost?Bernadette: Oh, you let me worry about the money. I just want my baby to have pretty things.Scene: The apartmentRaj: More wine?Penny: Oh, no, no, no. I've had way too much already.Sheldon: Here's an interesting fact about alcohol...Penny: Hit me.Sheldon: Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.Penny: Monkeys.Sheldon: When does a monkey have a trunk?Penny: When a suitcase just won't do.Sheldon: Mmm, all right. It would appear as if alcohol is playing keep-away with your intelligence. Good night. Please note, it is now past 10:00 p.m. Per our roommate agreement, kindly refrain from raucous laughter, clinking of glasses, and celebratory gunfire.Penny: Okay... explain something to me. You watch Leonard put up with that guy for years and years. What has to break inside your brain for you to think, "Oh, Krishna, I've got to get me some of that"? Raj: Well, it's a lot better than having to wear noise-cancelling headphones in my own apartment. Penny: What? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. Leonard's a noisy little dude in the sack.Raj: Every night.Penny: Really? Even during allergy season, when he has to alternate between kissing and breathing? Raj: It's my sister. Can we not talk about this anymore?Penny: Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Can I tell you a secret?Raj: Yeah.Penny: I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.Raj: Well, uh, to paraphrase Shakespeare: "It's better to have loved and lost "than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography."Penny: Ohh... you poor baby.Raj: What's wrong with me, Penny?Penny: Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends, and you hadn't brought up that creepypornography story, I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.Raj: Hey, you totally got that right! "E=mc2."Penny: I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen. To friendship.Raj: To friendship.Sheldon: Would you booze hounds please stop that infernal clinking?! And the answer was elephant!Scene: Raj’s apartment.Priya: Leonard, sweetheart, we're kissing, not eating hot soup.Leonard: Sorry.Priya: That's my parents on video chat. Go hide in the bedroom.Leonard: Oh, come on! Why don't we just tell them t hat we're dating?Priya: Oh, we've been through this. It's not the time.Leonard: When is the time?Priya: I've got five brothers and sisters. One of them is bound to screw up real big, and then I'll tell my parents about you. Now, shoo.Leonard: Fine.Priya: Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy.Dr Koothrappali(on webcam): We heard there was a tornado in Kansas City.Is that close to you?Priya: No.Mrs Koothrappali(on webcam): Where is your brother?Priya: Out with friends.Dr Koothrappali(on webcam): I don't like it, a young girl alone in an apartment.Mrs Koothrappali(on webcam): I'll sleep so much better when you move back here next month. Leonard: You're moving back to India?!Dr Koothrappali(on webcam): Who's that?Mrs Koothrappali(on webcam):Oh, my God! There's someone in your apartment. Call the police in America!Leonard: When were you going to tell me about this?</i>Priya: Oh, hello, Leonard. What a pleasant surprise! Mummy, Daddy, you remember Rajesh's friend Leonard.Dr Koothrappali(on webcam):I thought you said Rajesh was out with his friends.Priya: He has many friends.Dr Koothrappali(on webcam): Rajesh has many friends?Mrs Koothrappali(on webcam): Why are you lying to us?Leonard: She's lying because she doesn't want you to know we're dating.Priya: Leonard!Leonard: Well, what difference does it make? If you're moving back to India,we're obviously breaking up.Priya: You know what? I don't want to deal with this right now.Leonard: So...Hot in India?Dr Koothrappali(on webcam): Of course it is. It always is. It's India. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?Leonard: Uh...that is a beautiful tapestry.Scene: Leonard’s bedroomPenny: Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh. Okay, look. This never happened. Do you understand me? Really?! Still can't talk to me?Sheldon: What are you doing here?Leonard:What?Sheldon: I said, what are you doing here?Leonard:I live here.Sheldon: I have paperwork that says differently.Leonard: Priya's going back to India.Sheldon: Irrelevant. Rajesh and I have a good thing going and you're not going to ruin it. What are you doing here?Howard: I've been up all night.I had a fight with Bernadette.Sheldon: Why?Howard: She gave me a beautiful watch.Sheldon: Leonard, do you understand this?Howard: Yes.Sheldon: Talk to him.Penny: Damn.Leonard: What's going on?Penny:Oh... It's-it's not what it looks like.Sheldon: What does it look like?。

生活大爆炸--第11季第6集-美剧-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看电影学英语-打印-word版

Howie, slow down. 华仔吃慢点I can't. 不行I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, 手术之前12小时都不能吃东西and I only got two more minutes. 我只剩两分钟了What surgery are you having? 你也要动什么手术吗I'm stress eating. 我是压力型暴饮暴食My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow. 我最好的朋友明天要去结扎了And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child? 你是难过自己再也没机会怀他宝宝吗Oh, my goodness. 我的天If it's "Vasectomy gone wrong" videos, 如果是"结扎手术失误"视频集锦he's seen them all. 他已经全部看过了Including the one of the guy who's sitting 包括看起来像一个男人坐在哈密瓜上on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not. 但其实是他自己血肿蛋蛋的那个视频And I'm done. 我不吃了They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again.他们要重新开拍《质子教授科学秀》节目了I thought he passed away. 我还以为他已经过世了He did. 没错He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano. 他火化后骨灰都投进了小苏打火山里了水中加入几勺苏打粉再加一点白醋能像火山爆发儿童科学节目常有的科学小实验Don't make jokes. He meant a lot to Sheldon. 别乱开玩笑他对谢尔顿意义重大Oh, me, too. I grew up watching his show. 我也一样我是看着他节目长大的He's one of the reasons I became a scientist. 他是我成为科学家的原因之一Thought you did it just to get girls. 我还以为你是为了把妹呢Joke's on you. It worked. 哈哈我不是把到你了吗Have they found anyone to replace him? 他们找到接班人了吗No, not yet, and it won't be easy. 不还没有这可不简单Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist. 亚瑟·杰弗里斯是一个成就颇丰的科学家You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? 你知道谁可以演好质子教授吗Meryl Streep. 影后梅丽尔·斯特里普She's not a scientist. 她不是科学家Uh, then explain to me why 那你告诉我she has chemistry with literally everyone. 为什么她和每个人都能产生化学反应It would be nice if they cast a woman. 如果他们能让女演员来演也不错It would be nice if they cast a woman. 新版《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工队》的主角都是女性Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters.你们已经有了《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工队》Leave us something. 给我们男人剩点吧Who do you think it should be? 你觉得应该让谁演Well, it should be a scientist I respect. 应该选一个我敬重的科学家You know, someone with a pleasing voice 一个声线悦耳动听and symmetrical facial features. 五官均匀对称的人Is he talking about himself? 他是在说他自己吗If he's talking, he's talking about himself. 他说话时都是在说自己I just know how much Professor Proton touched me as a child,我只知道质子教授在我小时候触碰了我心and I feel that I owe it to him 我觉得我应该还他这份情to try and touch as many children as possible. 也该像他那样去"触碰"更多孩子You should put that on your audition tape. 你该把这句话放进试镜视频里You doing okay? 你还好吗No, I'm very nervous. 不人家紧张死了Where are you going? 你要去哪里Gift shop. 礼品店There is no gift shop. Sit down. 这里没有礼品店给我坐下This was your idea. 这也是你自己的主意啊So was having sex, and look where that got us. 滚床单也是我的主意你看看后果多严重This isn't a big deal. Stop whining. 这没什么大不了的别唧歪了When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me. 你生娃时我也说过同样的话结果你踹了我Howard Wolowitz? 霍沃德·沃洛维茨- Want me to go with you? - No. -要我跟你一起吗 -不用- I'll be fine. - Yeah, we got this. -我没事 -对我俩可以的Sit down! 给我坐下Wish me luck. 祝我好运吧Other way, buster. 走错方向了小子Okay, you ready? 你准备好了吗Yeah, almost. 差不多了I'm working on my facial expressions. 我正在练习我的面部表情See, uh, I've got interested. 看这是我感兴趣的表情I've got very interested. 这是非常感兴趣的表情Enraged. 暴怒的表情Why would you be enraged? 你怎么会暴怒呢Hmm. Better to have it and not need it 平日多烧香than to need it and not have it. 好过临时抱佛脚Okay. 好吧And... 准备...rolling. 开拍Hello. I am theoretical physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, 大家好我是一名理论物理学家谢尔顿·库珀博士auditioning for the role of Professor Proton. 为质子博士一角试镜Now, excuse me while I get into character. 现在请允许我进入角色之Hello. I am Professor Proton. 大家好我是质子教授And today, boys and girls, 今天孩子们we're going to have fun with science. 我们要一起进入有趣的科学世界Did you know you could calculate the mass of an electron 你知道可以用手边的家庭用品using household items? It's true. 计算出电子的质量吗这是真的哦All you'll need is a pencil, some paper, 你只需要一支铅笔一些纸dry ice, rubbing alcohol, 干冰外用酒精and a spool of 50-micron-thick cobalt-60 wire. 和一卷50微米细的钴60线轴And, remember, don't put it in your mouth, 要记得别把线轴放进嘴里or instead of becoming a scientist, 不然你没变成科学家you'll become wildly radioactive. 就先变成放射狂人了Hang on. I have a question. 等一下我有个问题Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening? 你有其他没有致命危险的实验吗Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it. 拜托人家拍得好好的全被你毁了Oh, look! Hey, I did need enraged. 你看我暴怒的表情用上了- Really hurts, huh? - No. -看来真的很痛啊 -不痛He's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low"" 他只是在说"哎哟这价格真划算呀"It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, 别担心只需休息一两天就好and you'll be fine. 你会好起来的You know nothing about Jewish people. 那你真是不懂犹太人了Um, let me go check on her. 我去看看她Okay, uh, this is a bit awkward. 好了现在有一点小尴尬了It says here that I need to check the area 手册上写我需要检查一下手术部位的for redness and swelling. 发红和肿胀情况You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead. 我已经痛到麻木了随便你吧So you see, boys and girls, 所以孩子们H, or helicity, is the natural variable to use relativistically H 也就是螺旋性是使用相对论的自然变量is defined as S dot P, divided by the magnitude of P. S·P 再除以P的量So the next time someone on the playground tells you 所以下次如果操场上有人告诉你you can only use integral values for the matrix 你只能用整数值来that determines the spin of the antiproton, 决定反质子的自旋you stop being friends with that kid, 别和那孩子做朋友'cause he's going nowhere. 因为他肯定成不了材Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 我们下周再会质子教授跟大家说That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, 是美国信息交换标准代码二进制数的"拜"or good-binary. "二"个拜拜拜So, what do you think? 你们觉得如何呢Well, I already told him that I loved it, 我已经跟他说我觉得超赞了but if you found it confusing or dangerous or-- 但如果你们有人觉得说得太绕太危险...I don't know-- three to four times too long, 或我随便举例比如超长了几倍时间now is the time to share. 现在就可以提出你们的意见I... I don't know what to say. 我不知道说什么Leonard, do you know what to say? 莱纳德你有什么想说的吗Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh... 谢尔顿我觉得呢...It-it looked like you were having so much fun. 感觉视频中的你玩得很开心That's what you used to tell me to say to Penny 你以前也教过我用这话应付佩妮after one of her terrible plays. 就在看完她难看的表演后Well, what was wrong with it? 所以问题出在哪呢You know, did you find it... 你们会觉得...borderline psychotic? 快接近神经病了吗I mean, 我个人觉得呢I liked that about it, but... 我挺喜欢这一点但...you guys discuss. 请畅所欲言Do you remember when you were a kid 你还记得你小时候and you'd watch Professor Proton? 看质子教授的节目吗Of course. 当然啊Well, did he ever make you-- I don't know-- 那他有过让你觉得... 比方说... hate science and the people who do it? 痛恨科学与搞科学的人吗What are you saying? 你什么意思I-I just think it would be... better 我觉得你要想改进if your contempt for children 那你对儿童的不屑wasn't so much in the foreground. 就不能够这么堂而皇之Well, you want me to lie? 你是要我说谎吗Well, it's not lying-- it's acting. 这不是说谎是演戏啊Sheldon Cooper may not like kids, 虽然谢尔顿·库珀不爱小孩子but Professor Proton loves them. 但质子教授很喜欢孩子啊Interesting. 有意思You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way. 我还没用这角度想过呢It-It's similar to how I'm afraid of dogs, 这就像是我本人很怕狗but my D&D character likes dogs, you know? 但我桌游里的角色很喜欢狗一样But he's allergic, so he can't be around them. 但他对狗过敏所以不能接近狗狗Why don't we have a dog? 我们为什么不养狗Hey, you can always reshoot it. 你可以重拍一个啊Mm, I suppose. 也是啦And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips 或许这次我还能去请教from someone who's acted professionally. 有过专业演员经历的人Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out. 谢尔顿我当然很乐意帮助你啦I don't know what to say. 我无言以对Hey, Sheldon. What's up? 谢尔顿怎么了I need an acting coach. 我需要一个演戏教练Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number? 你能给我帕特里克·斯图尔特的电话吗Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number? 知名杰出英国演员也曾出演过《星际旅行: 初代》No. 不能Fine. I guess you can do it. 好吧你来教也行Bernie? 妮妮Where did you get a bell? 你从哪弄来的铃App store. 应用商店Fun. Let me see. 真好玩让我看看When you catch me, you can have it back. 等你能抓到我了再还你手机You want to lie down, watch a movie? 你想躺下一起看个电影吗I can't. I got my 16-week checkup to get to, 不行我得去做第16周的产检and then I'll pick up some Chinese for dinner. 完事后我会买中餐外卖回来当晚饭I'll take Halley with me. 我会把哈雷带上You-you sure you're not overdoing it? 你确定你这样不会太累吗- No, it's fine. - Great. -没事不会的 -那太好了Then maybe, instead of Chinese, 那不如别买中餐fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks? 去把烤架热了弄几块牛排如何Kung pao chicken, please. 宫保鸡丁谢谢老婆大人- Oh, boy. - What? -惨了 -怎么了They cast the new Professor Proton. 他们选出新的质子教授演员了Is it Sheldon? 是谢尔顿吗Not exactly. 不是Wheaton! 惠顿It's Wil Wheaton. 是威尔·惠顿How was the doctor? 医生怎么说Good, but I have some news. 一切良好但我有个事情要说Don't say twins. Don't say twins. Don't say twins. 别说是双胞胎别是双胞胎Don't say twins. 别说是双胞胎啊It's not twins. 不是双胞胎Oh. I mean, because I would have loved them both. 我是说我一定会超爱他们啦The doctor said I was overdoing it, 医生说我操劳过度so she put me on bed rest just to be safe. 让我在床上歇着保胎Oh, no. 太心疼了It may not look like it, but I'm running to you! 虽然看起来不像但我正在朝你飞奔而去Hello, Arthur. 亚瑟你好啊What-what part of "Rest in peace" "安息"这两个字don't you understand? 你是有哪个字不懂I suppose you're here because you heard the news? 我猜你会来是因为你听到消息了吧Sheldon, I'm a figment of your imagination. 谢尔顿我是你的想象虚构出来的I don't hear news. 老子不会听到消息You're a grumpy figment. 真是个暴躁的虚构体Look, they're remaking your show, 是这样的他们要重启你的节目and they cast Wil Wheaton as Professor Proton. 他们选了威尔·惠顿来当质子教授And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist. 而最糟的地方就是他甚至不是科学家No, the-the worst part is, 不最糟的地方是I'm sitting on a moist log. 我坐在湿哒哒的木头上We have to stop this and protect your legacy. 我们得阻止这一切保护你名声What legacy? 有个毛名声啊My-my last two seasons, 我节目最后两季I was on Sunday morningn at 5:30. 档期是在周日早上五点半播出We-we were beat by Davey and Goliath. 收视率还被陶土儿童节目给打败I can't believe you don't care. 我真不敢相信你都不在乎Believe it. 相信吧Well, I care, a lot, 但我在乎非常在乎and Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me. 威尔·惠顿绝对会后悔认识我I think that's true of most people. 我觉得大多数人都这么觉得Hi, guys. 你们好啊Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing. 就想过来看看你们俩怎么样了We're okay. 我们挺好Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife, 对啊跟我老婆赖在床上thawing out some frozen peas in my pants-- 用裤裆内的体温给冻豆子化冻living the dream. 宛如梦中啊Oh, I'll get her. 我去哄她吧I thought Raj was helping you out. 我以为拉杰会来帮手呢No, he had to work. 没来他得上班Plus, he has a quota for the amount of 再说了关于印度仆人的玩笑Indian servant jokes he can tolerate, 他的容忍是有限的and, apparently, I filled it. 而我貌似已经把额度用完了Well, you're... I can get the baby. 你歇着吧我可以去哄她No, Howie's got it. He's fine. 不用了华仔可以的他能行Right, Howie? 对吧华仔Never better. 比什么时候都行Don't be silly. 别傻了I'll take the rest of the day off and watch Halley for you. 我可以请假帮你们照看哈雷Or we can call Stuart. 或者我们可以打给斯图尔特I'm sure he could close up the store, 我敢说他肯定会马上关店hop on a bus, and be here in no time. 跳上公交车飞奔来这里He does love the bus. 他的确很爱公交车Okay, hang on. 等下Do you guys not trust me to take care of your baby? 你俩是不相信我可以照看好你们的娃吗- No. - No! -当然不是 -不是不是- No. - No. -不是 -真不是So I-I guess... 我觉得还是...no. 不行It's not that we don't trust you-- it's just... 不是我们不信任你只是...you don't seem like much of a baby person. 你看起来不太像是喜欢小娃娃的人I can watch your stupid baby, okay? 我能照看好你们的傻逼娃娃好吗If she cries, I will pick her up. 如果她哭了我会抱她起来If she's hungry, I'll give her a bottle. 如果她饿了我会给她热奶And if she poops, I'll light some incense. 如果她拉粑粑了我会点上熏香It would be a big help. 那可真是帮了大忙了Okay. Thank you. 好吧谢谢你Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about. 相信我你们俩绝对可以放一百个心You know, back in Nebraska, 当年在我们老家I raised all our baby pigs 我们家的小猪仔right until the day they were slaughtered. 都是我一手养大到可以送去宰了So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat, 所以除非你们娃是早餐肉做的she's fine. 否则她好着呢Would you ever get a vasectomy? 你会去做结扎手术吗Uh, in case you haven't noticed, 或许你没有注意到Indians aren't too big on birth control. 印度人不是很喜欢计划生育There's probably, like, a million more of us 很可能从我们开始这话题到现在since we started this conversation. 印度又多了一百万人口You okay? 你还好吧No. 不好No, all these comments online about Wil, 网上所有关于威尔的评论they're nothing but supportive and kind. 一水儿全是支持和好话Where's the mean, snarky Internet 那个毒舌刻薄的互联网哪去了that shows up every time I get a haircut? 怎么每次我剪完头发它就出现呢You know that's us, right? 你知道毒舌刻薄的是我们对吧Well, luckily, I got the number of the company 幸运的是我搞到了那家who's trying to reboot the show, 试图重启这节目公司的电话so I need you all to call and register your displeasure. 所以我需要你们都打去表达你们的不满Sheldon, no one's gonna do that. 谢尔顿没人会这么做Not true. 有哦I know of three calls they've received already: 我知道已经有三个人打去表达不满了a-a Southern gentleman, 一位是南方绅士um, a Cockney chimney sweep, 一位是伦敦烟囱清扫工and, uh, 还有一位是Mr. T, hmm? T先生Who-- spoiler alert-- 这位先生剧透一下pities the fool who tries to reboot that show. 可怜那位试图重启这节目的傻瓜What about tiresome lunatic with a bad haircut? 那个发型糟糕的无聊疯子呢Has he called yet? 他怎么没打去Come on. 拜托How many times have we banded together 多少次我们团结起来to try to save a show that we loved? 一起去拯救我们热爱的节目L-Let's shake things up and try to kill one. 这次我们改变套路把这节目扼杀在摇篮中Isn't the important thing that there's a show 有个能让孩子喜欢科学的节目to get kids excited about science? 难道不重要吗Who cares about kids and what they like? 谁在乎小孩和他们喜欢什么啊This is about me 这事关我and something I liked when-when I was a kid. 和我还是个孩子时喜欢的节目What if the reboot is great? 万一节目重启很成功呢That's even worse. 那就更糟了If-if I like it, 如果我喜欢它I'll feel like I'm being disloyal to Arthur. 感觉就像背叛了亚瑟He was a mentor and a friend, 他是我的导师和朋友and I won't toss him aside for some Hollywood pretty boy 我不会为了好莱坞某个帅哥比如威尔·惠顿like Wil Wheaton. 而抛弃他It's hard to argue with him. 他的话很难反驳啊Because he makes no sense? Yeah. 因为他根本不讲理吗的确是This is actually kind of nice, 这感觉其实挺好的you and me getting to spend a couple days in bed together. 你我有机会一起在床上赖几天Yeah. Pretty soon, we're gonna have 是啊很快我们家two crying babies in the house. 就会有两个哇哇叫的宝宝了I'm glad my balls hurt. It's all their fault. 我很高兴我蛋疼因为全是它们的错Well, let's just enjoy this quiet time 让我们一起享受这宁静的时光while we still got it. 趁现在还有机会Yeah. 是啊Yeah, it is really quiet. 但这也太安静了吧You think Penny's doing okay? 你觉得佩妮能应付得来吗Penny, everything all right?! 佩妮一切还好吗Hey. All good. 一切都好Dipped her pacifier in a little bourbon, she conked right out. 往她奶嘴上沾了点酒她立马昏睡过去了I hope you're joking. 希望你是在开玩笑Of course I'm joking. I don't share my bourbon. 当然是开玩笑啊我才不会分享我的酒呢She's joking. 她在开玩笑Definitely. 肯定是Probably. 应该吧Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. 威尔·惠顿威尔·惠顿This is Sheldon, by the way. 对了我是谢尔顿Hi, Sheldon. 谢尔顿Here, I found this pizza flyer in your fence. 给我在你的栅栏发现这张披萨传单Thank you. 谢谢Okay, now you owe me a favor. 现在你欠我个人情Turn down the role of Professor Proton. 你去拒演质子教授I don't think so. 我不同意You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist. 你不能当质子教授你又不是科学家Well, I was never on a starship, 我也从没上过太空星舰but pretending I was bought me this house. 但假装自己上过让我买下了这栋房子And if I'd pretended a little longer, 要是我假装的时间更久it would have a swimming pool. 还能买下带泳池的房子呢Some things shouldn't be rebooted. 有些东西就不该被重启Some things were perfect the way they were. 有些东西本来就很完美了Like the walled city of York-- it was a delight. 比如有城墙的约克非常美好But New York? Blech. 但新约克[纽约] 算了吧Did you ever consider that maybe Arthur would be happy to know 你有没想过如果亚瑟得知他的节目比他还长寿that his show has outlived him? 会很高兴呢I doubt it. 我深表怀疑He was kind of a mean old crank. 他是个刻薄暴躁的臭老头Sheldon, I promise that I will work my hardest to make this show great 谢尔顿我保证我会努力把节目做好so that a whole new generation of kids 好让新一代的孩子们will grow up and they will be able to say 长大后会说that Professor Proton was the reason they got into science. 是质子教授让他们投身科学领域That was very persuasive. 这番话很有说服力Thanks. 谢谢But I won't be seduced by your acting skills 但我不会被你的演技nor your movie star charisma. 或电影明星魅力所诱惑There's only one Professor Proton, 质子教授只有一个and he had neither of those things. 而他绝没有上述两种特质I'll give you one more chance to bow out. 我再给你一次机会退出Or what? 不然怎样When we first met, we were enemies, 我们初次见面时你我是敌人but we worked through that and we became friends. 但我们解决了矛盾成为了朋友Do you really want to go back? 你真想回到当初吗Honestly, it doesn't feel very different. 老实说感觉没什么不同I'm not leaving! 我不会走的All right, I'm gonna sic my dog on you. 好吧那我就放狗出来咬你You don't have a dog. 你又没有养狗Yes, I do. 有的Ugh, I can't tell if you're lying-- 我分辨不出你是否在说谎you're such a good actor! 你演技太高超了Hey, how you doing? 你好吗What are you doing here? 你怎么来了Oh, I just came by, you know, 我就顺路过来看看to see if you need any help. 看你是否需要帮忙Howard and Bernadette asked you to check up on me. 霍华德和伯纳黛特派你来监督我That is not entirely true. 这话不全对So did Leonard and... everybody. 还有莱纳德和所有人How irresponsible do you all think I am? 你们是觉得我有多不负责任啊We don't think you're irresponsible. 我们不觉得你不负责任啊We think you're... 我们只是觉得你...fun-loving. 喜爱玩耍That is just a nice word for "Irresponsible." 这只是"不负责任"好听一点的说法You might be more on the ball than we thought. 看来你比我们想的要机智I'm getting a little hungry. 我有点饿了Want me to get it this time? 这次我来吧That'd be great. 那就太好了This is fun. 真好玩And now you also get to see an annoyed blonde walk into the room.你也能看到一个气鼓鼓的金发妞走进来What? 干嘛Can you get us a little snack? 能给我们拿点零食吗You sure you don't want your spy to do it? 你们不让你们的间谍去拿吗What are you talking about? 你在说什么呢You really don't trust me? You had to have Amy stop by? 你们真的很不信任我还让艾米过来看看- We trust you. - Yeah. -我们信任你 -是啊You were a terrible waitress, 你是个糟糕的服务员and we still asked you to get us a snack. 我们还是叫你给我们拿零食了啊Excuse me while I go take care of your baby. 失陪一下我要去照顾你们的宝宝Then I'll bring you your snack, 然后我会拿零食给你们and you can insult me some more. 到时你们就可以继续羞辱我了I don't know about you, 不知道你怎么想but I am not eating whatever she brings us. 但我绝对不会吃她送来的食物Hey, Halley. Aw, it's okay. 哈雷没事的Auntie Penny's here. Shh. Let's get you changed. 佩妮阿姨来了我帮你换尿布Your mommy and daddy say they trust me, 你爸妈说他们相信我but they're full of the same stuff your diaper is. 但他们满嘴都是你尿布里现在包着的东西Now I feel bad. 这下我内疚了Well, she never really liked me. 反正她从没喜欢过我It's kind of nice she hates you now, too. 现在她也讨厌你感觉还不赖Aw, but I'm here for you, 但你有我呢and I would never let anything happen to you, 我不会让你受到任何伤害because your Auntie Penny loves you so much. 因为佩妮阿姨真的好爱好爱你Mama. 妈妈Was that her first word? 那是她第一个词吗Mama. 妈妈Uh, no. No, baby. I'm not your mama. 不不宝宝我不是你妈妈Your mama's the nice lady we're gonna go see right now你妈妈是我们现在要去见的那位善良女士so I can rub this in her face. 这样我就能在她面前嘚瑟啦Do you hear that, suckers? 听见了吗你俩贱人She called me Mama! 她叫我妈妈Hello, Arthur. 你好亚瑟You-you know, 你知道吗we could... we could also meet in-in a deli. 我们我们也可以在熟食店见面的I'm sorry to say that I failed you. 很抱歉告诉你我辜负了你I tried to stop Wil Wheaton being Professor Proton, 我试过阻止威尔·惠顿出演质子教授but I couldn't. 但我没能做到See, now, that's-that's the kind of thing 知道吗这种话题you could tell a fella over a... 你可以边吃熏牛肉三明治pastrami sandwich. 边告诉对方的Well, don't worry. 别担心He's now on my enemies list forever. 现在他会永远在我的敌人名单里He's totally cut off. 我跟他永世绝交Interesting. 有意思Can-can anyone sign-sign up for that list? 其他人能去哪登记上那份名单呢。

生活大爆炸第四季剧本 S04E12

Series 4 Episode 12 – The Bus Pants UtilizationScene: The university cafeteria. Howard is on the phone.Howard: Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me. I know it says click with the mouse, but on a laptop, the trackpad is the mouse. Now, put your finger on it. Doesn’t matter which finger. Good choice. Now move it down to your e-mail icon. Yeah, the little envelope. What do you mean, what does it look like? It looks like an envelope! Fine, you don’t like the computer, do n’t use it! Sure, we can exchange it for a salad spinner. Good-bye!Raj: That’s a Hanukkah present you’re regretting, huh?Sheldon: I won’t say that all senior citizens who can’t master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.Leonard: I had a great idea. You know how we’re always having to stop and solve differential equations, like when you’re doing Fourier analysis, or using the Schrodinger equation?Sheldon: Howard doesn’t. He’s only an engineer.Leonard: I was thinking, we could write a little app that would use handwriting recognition, and then run it through a symbolic evaluation engine. You just use your smartphone, take a picture of the equation and bam!Raj: Yo u know what’s a great app? The one that makes fart noises.Sheldon: You know, Leonard, that’s actually a valid idea. Very good.Leonard: Can you say that and not make it sound like I’m a cat who learned how to use the toilet?Sheldon: No. The two achieveme nts are equally surprising and equally admirable, though if pressed, I’d have to give a slight edge to the cat. I’ll save you the pain and nervousness of waiting for the answer. I agree to be part of your project. Congratulations.Leonard: Oh, yay for me. What about you guys? I can’t promise anything, but people do make money off stuff like this.Howard: A few extra bucks would be nice. I could finally move out of my mother’s house.Raj: Where would you go?Howard: I always dreamed about building a little place of my own over the garage.Raj: You know, if I made more money, I could take time off from work and give pretty girls submarine rides. Howard: What’s that? Some weird sex thing?Raj: No. You take pretty girls underwater in your private submarine, and you show them fish. Why does everything have to be dirty with you?Leonard: I was thinking we could work on this at night, and then maybe in a couple of weeks, we’ll have ourselves an app to sell.Howard: Sounds like we’re in business.Raj: I think we should take a picture to capture this moment.Leonard: Yeah.Sheldon: Oh!Raj(pressing button on camera phone. Camera makes a fart noise): Was that the best 99 cents I ever spent, or what? Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Leonard: I checked the App Store. No one is doing handwriting-recognition differential equation solving. Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, shush.Leonard: What?Sheldon: You have so few good ideas, Leonard. And you’re just going to spill the beans in front of an outsider? Penny: Who, me?Howard: Sheldon, I don’t think Penny cares about handwriting-recognition based differential…Sheldon(singing): The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas.Leonard: She’s not going to steal our idea.Penny: What idea?Leonard: We’re gonna write an application…Sheldon(singing): The prairie sky is wide and high, deep in the heart…Penny: Okay, stop, stop!Sheldon: Of Texas.Penny: Whatever your secret is, I’m sure it’s boring, so I’m not interested.Leonard: It’s not boring at all. You see, in higher order mathematics, there are certain sets of equations that…Penny: Bored.Leonard: Satisfied?Sheldon: Hardly. Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario. A young woman alone in the big city. Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.Penny: Hey, wait a minute.Howard: Well, hang on. Let’s see where he’s going.Sheldon: Then it hits her. How is she going to survive? I mean, she has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard.Howard: Hey, I…Penny: Hang on. Let’s see where he’s going.Sheldon: She befriends them, and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea, which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.Leonard: That is ridiculous.Sheldon: Oh, is it? Well let’s see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.Penny: Oh, great. You know what? I’ve already mooched dinner off you guys. I don’t need to listen to this. Howard: There’s your answ er, free food.Sheldon: All right, I’ve taken the liberty of drafting these workflow charts which outline our various duties and the path we will follow as we develop our ground-breaking new app.Raj: Hey, why am I in charge of phone support? Seems a bit racist.Sheldon: A customer service representative with an Indian accent will create the impression we’re a vast enterprise that uses overseas call centres.Raj: Oh. Very clever.But still racist.Sheldon: Duly noted, Steve from Wichita.Howard: Why am I listed as your executive assistant?Sheldon: Because the word secretary has fallen into disrepute. FYI, my mother’s birthday is coming up. I’m going to need you to pick up a present.Leonard: Okay, we need to stop for a minute.Sheldon: Leonard, please, we c an talk during our break. We have one coming up at midnight. We’ll need snacks. Leonard: Sheldon, you’re not in charge. It’s my idea. I’m in charge.Sheldon: Oh, of course you are. Look at the organizational chart. You’re clearly listed as founder.Leonard: Well, yes, and you’re listed as Chief Executive Officer, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer. Sheldon: You missed Chief Science Officer, Chairman of the Board, and Head of the Secret Santa Committee. Leonard: Okay. You need to get clear on this right now. I am in charge of this project.Raj: Ooh. Leonard’s going all alpha nerd on Sheldon’s ass.Sheldon: All right. All right, I’m not going to argue with you. Sheldon Cooper is nothing if not a team player. Dr. Hofstadter, you have the conn.Leonard: Thank you. I thought we might start by talking about the user interface.Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, we’re doomed.Scene: Later.Leonard: So this button here will allow you to scan a new equation, but over here, you can press this, and just substitute new values for the coefficients.Sheldon: Good one, boss.Leonard: What?Sheldon: This diagram. I assume you were opening with a joke. It certainly buoyed up this employee’s esprit de corps.Leonard: It’s not a joke. It’s the real design.Sheldon: In that case, may I offer 27 little tweaks to make it slightly less embarrassing?Leonard: Sheldon, I think this will work. Let’s just try it my way.Sheldon: Oh, I’m, I’m sorry. I assumed that you wanted candid truth-telling from your employees, but I realize now, you want the mindless nattering of complacent yes-men.Leonard: Are you done?Sheldon: If you say so, boss.Scene: Later still.Howard: So right now, this button-press event is just triggering a dummy procedure call…Sheldon: How about this for the app name? The Surprisingly Helpful Equation-Linked Differential Optimized Numerator.Raj: So it spells Sheldon?Sheldon: Does it? A happy accident.Leonard: We’re not doing names now. Howard?Howard: Like I was saying, right now it’s just a dummy procedure, but eventually, it will drop us into…Sheldon: All right, fine. If we’re not going to give it a name, can we at least give it a secret code designation? Leonard: No.Sheldon: Well, but hear me out. The atomic bomb was The Manhattan Project. Windows 95 was originally Project Chicago. For our app, I would humbly suggest Project Nodlehs.Leonard: That’s just Sheldon backwards.Sheldon: Another happy accident.Leonard: We’re not wasting time with names right now.Sheldon: I see. Is that decision open for discussion?Leonard: No.Sheldon: Is the decision to not discuss it open for discussion?Leonard: No.Howard: Again, right now it’s just a dummy procedure, but eventually, it will drop us into…Sheldon: I call for a vote of no confidence and an immediate change in leadership.Leonard: Oh Sheldon, stop it.Sheldon: When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to dissolve the bonds that tie three competent scientists together…Leonard: That’s enough, Sheldon.Sheldon: All righ t, let’s get right to the vote. Show of hands all those opposed to Leonard and his reign of tyranny. Leonard: Okay, that’s it, you’re fired.Sheldon: Really? Why?Leonard: Because you’re impossible to work with.Sheldon: I see. And is that open for discussion?Scene: The following morning.Leonard: What are you doing?Sheldon: Oh. Good morning, shoemaker. I think you’ll be pleased with what the elves were up to last night.Leonard: But I fired you.Sheldon: Oh, I know. I’m now an independent contractor.Leonard: No, you are now nothing. You have no connection to this project whatsoever.Sheldon: But I made it better.Leonard: I don’t want it better. I want it my way.Sheldon: Well, that speaks volumes, doesn’t it? All right, I suppose I’ll go put on my bu s pants.Leonard: What the hell are bus pants?Sheldon: They are pants one wears over one’s regular pants when one sits on bus seats that other people have previously sat on. But perhaps from your lofty heights atop the corporate ladder, you’ve lost touch with the struggles of the common man.Leonard: Look, I’m still happy to drive you to work. Nothing’s changed in that regard. We’re still roommates, we’re still friends.Sheldon: Except you identified me, your best friend, as a gangrenous limb that needed to be severed from the organism and tossed away. The desperate act of a little man with a big Napoleon complex.Leonard: You know what? Go put on your bus pants.Scene: The cafeteria.Raj: Mm. Last night, I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side-by-side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means? Howard: It means after we play handball, I’m showering at home.Sheldon: Good morning, Friend Howard. Friend Raj. I see you gentlemen are enjoying beverages. Perhaps they would taste better out of these.Raj: World’s Greatest Astrophysicist?Sheldon: Don’t thank me. You earned it.Howard: Howard Wolowitz. Why not World’s Greatest Engineer?Sheldon: I’m sorry. I typed that into the label maker, but I just couldn’t press enter. Now down to business. What would it take for you to abandon Leonard and join me in a rival company? Unless, of course, the mugs are sufficient, in which case, welcome aboard.Howard: We’re not quitting on Leonard.Sheldon: I understand. And your loyalty is admirable. But what if I were to up the ante?Raj: What are you talking about?Sheldon: Monogrammed key chains with a built-in laser pointer. No? How about can cosies emblazoned with our unive rsity mascot? Go, Beavers. I’ll be back.Scene: The apartment.Howard: Okay, let’s try this one. Spherical Hankel function.Leonard: Hold on. That’s it!Howard: Eureka!Raj: Hey, we agreed when it was Eureka time, we were all gonna say it together.Howard: Fine. Let’s say it together.Raj: No. The moment has passed.Sheldon: Greetings, gentlemen. How goes your little project?Raj: You mean, Project Lenwoloppali?Sheldon: Ah, a combination of all your names. Very clever. I assume Koothranardowitz was taken?Leonard: We’re actually scanning equations and getting good results.Sheldon: Oh, well then, by all means, carry on. I wouldn’t want to impede your progress.Leonard: Howard, did you solve the install time problem yet?Howard: No. It’s a little tricky. I’m gonna try having it pick up the libraries dynam…Leonard: What are you doing?!Sheldon: Playing the theremin.Leonard: No. I mean, what are you doing with a theremin?Sheldon: Playing it. I’ve loved the theremin from the first moment I heard the original Star Trek theme. And it’s been killing me that it just sits in my closet, gathering dust.Leonard: Sheldon! We’re working here!Sheldon: That’s all right. I can barely hear you over my theremin. (Leonard pulls out plug) Well, that was a little uncalled for.Leonard: No, that was completely called for. We need quiet.Sheldon: So, your project is more important than mine?Leonard: Well, seeing as your project is to sabotage my project, yes.Sheldon: Don’t beat around the bush, Leonard. If you don’t want me here, just say the word, and I’ll leave.Scene: The hallway.Sheldon: Could have beaten around the bush a little.Scene: The lobby. Sheldon is playing his theramin.Sheldon(singing): Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow-ow-ow-ow.Penny: What you doing? Trying to contact your home planet?Sheldon: I’m practicing my theremin.Penny: Oh.Sheldon(singing): Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Glory, hallelujah.Penny: Something got you down, there, Sheldon?Sheldon: Leonard kicked me out of my own apartment. And his app team.Penny: Oh, honey, I’m sorry.Sheldon: He wouldn’t drive me to work today. I had to wear my bus pants.Penny: Is that so?Sheldon: Yes. And they’re still sticky.Penny: Aw.Sheldon: Probably going to have to throw them away.Penny: Hey, you don’t need Leonard and his app. You can make one with me.Sheldon: With you?Penny: Seriously, I have a great idea for one.Sheldon: Is it better than your idea to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actress?Penny: Okay, look, when you see someone wearing shoes you like, you just snap a picture of them, and the app goes on the Internet to find out where you can buy them.Sheldon: That’s your app idea?Penny: Well, you don’t like it?Sheldon: I didn’t say that. But no, I don’t.Penny: Why not?Sheldon: Oh, Penny, where do I begin? The simple-mindedness of your idea is exceeded only by its crass consumerism and banality.Penny: And Leonard didn’t want to work with you? Imagine that.Sheldon: I know, it’s baffling.(Singing) Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.Penny: Sheldon, I’m gonna make some cocoa. Do you want some?Sheldon: Do you make it with milk or water?Penny: Milk.Sheldon: Real cocoa?Penny: That’s what it says on the packet.Sheldon: Do you have those little marshmallows?Penny: No, sorry.Sheldon: Well, I suppose it’s appropriate.Penny: What does that mean?Sheldon: A disappointing drink for a disappointing day.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, look at this. 20 people from the university have already signed up for our private beta.Leonard: I’m telling you, the Lenwoloppali Differential Equation Scanner meets a real need. We’ve got a hit.Raj: What do you think we should sell it for?Howard: Well, based on the fact that our potential market is about 70 or 80 guys, and you want a submarine, I’d say about a million dollars a pop.Raj: Well, what if we put out a lite version for half a million? You know, get the word of mouth going.Penny: Hi. I’m sorry to bother you guys, but you’ve got to come take your Sheldon back.Leonard: What’s he doing in your apartment?Penny: Well, he was moping down in the lobby, so I invited him over, and now I regret it.Leonard: Why do you regret, uh, never mind, stupid question.Penny: Look, can’t you just let him play with you until bedtime?Leonard: We’re not playing. This is real work.Howard: We’re going to be hundred-aires.Penny: Okay. What if I got him to apologize and promise to behave?Leonard: Then I guess we would let him back on the app team, and while we’re doing that, you could take an aerial tour of L.A. on your flying pig.Penny: Okay. Wait right here.Raj: I’ll tell you one thing. If I get rich enough, that’s the kind of girl I want to take on a submarine ride. And yes, that time, I meant it to be dirty.Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon: Really? Leonard wants me back?Penny: Oh, yes. He says they are lost without you.Sheldon: Well, we sure saw that coming.Penny: That’s right.Sheldon: You know what I’m going to do? I am going to sit here and just let them stew.Penny: No, no, no. You know, they have suffered enough. Everybody’s suffered enough. The thing is, you’re going to have to offer him a face-saving way out of this.Sheldon: How?Penny: Say you’re sorry.Sheldon: Oh, no. Mrs. Mary Cooper didn’t raise her no liars.Penny: Okay. Um, how about this? You know how you’re always trying to learn about sarcasm?Sheldon: No.Penny: No?Sheldon: I was being sarcastic.Penny: Oh. Good for you. So all you have to do here is say you’re so rry to Leonard, but say it sarcastically. Sheldon: Of course. He will hear it as an attempt to mend fences, as opposed to the withering condemnation you and I will know it to be.Penny: Yeah. Yeah, that was my plan. All right. Come on. Let’s go.Sheldon: Oh, by the way, thank you for the delicious cocoa.Penny: Oh, you’re welcome.Sheldon: Boy, I’m getting good at this.Scene: The apartment.Leonard: Okay, now that you’re back on the team, let’s get you caught up.Sheldon: Before you begin, let me say again how deeply sorry I am for my earlier behaviour and how much I respect and admire your leadership.Leonard: Thank you. So as you can see, not only can you store your favourite equations, but you can forward them to your friends or post them on Facebook right from the app.Sheldon: Well, I must say, I am impressed.Leonard: Thanks.Sheldon: You all have clearly put in a lot of hard work.Howard: We have.Sheldon: As a result, you have taken the most important step on the road to success, learning what not to do. Now, let’s start fresh. Howard, we’re going to need some tea.Scene: Penny’s apartment.Penny: Okay, these are Uggs. These are Crocs. These are knockoff ManoloBlahniks.Sheldon: Bored.Penny: Look, you said it yourself, we have to create a database before you can write an alga-thingy.Sheldon: Algorithm. You see, Penny, Alan Turing defined an algorithm…Penny: Bored. Okay. These are Steve Maddens. These are Nine West. These are Target. Oh, but don’t they look like Chanel? These are Michael Kors. These are Roxy. These are Sachel’s. Oh, these are Betsy Johnson, they’re so cute…Sheldon(singing at the same time): Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow…。

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生活大爆炸第四季第六集有问题吗\Problem?这是我吃过最难吃的脆皮水果派\This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten.味道就跟出自一个初级的补鞋匠之手一样\It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker.真好笑"cobbler"一词两意都点到了\Amusing. A play on the two meanings of "cobbler." {\an8}cobbler既有水果派也有鞋匠的意思伙计们猜猜我在洛杉矶机场发现谁了\Hey, guys. Guess who I found at LAX?我的妹妹普丽娅\My baby sister Priya.抱歉我反对\Excuse me, I object.你提出的是一个猜谜游戏\You propose a guessing game可是你一点猜的时间都不给我\yet you don't give me enough time to guess.声明一下我本来就打算说\For the record, I was going to say:"你的妹妹普丽娅"\"Your sister Priya."谢尔顿你一点都没变对吧\Oh, Sheldon. You haven't changed a bit, have you?我为什么要变\Why would I change?她的本意其实是\The hope has been that你最终能变得正常一点\you'd eventually bend to public opinion.普丽娅什么风把你吹来洛杉矶\So, Priya, what brings you back to L.A.?我本来要去多伦多但我得在这滞留一天\I have a one-day layover on my way to Toronto. 企业并购\Corporate merger.你们相信吗\Can you believe it?小普丽娅是印度最大汽车公司\Little Priya's one of the lead attorneys首席律师之一\for the biggest car company in India.鉴于当时咱们见面她已经从法学院毕业了\Given that when we met her, she was finishing law school而且正打算去一家大的印度汽车公司实习\and planning an internship at a large Indian car company这个结果其实相当合理\it's actually extremely plausible.你怎么就这么惹人嫌呢\And your poll numbers just keep dropping.虽然我很想跟大家一起聊聊\I want to catch up with all of you但我得先去上个厕所\but first I really must visit the loo.我也去我给你指路吧\I'm going, too; I'll show you where it is.好的虽然这不用明讲\All right, this goes without saying但是无论如何我还是重申一下\but I'm just going to say it anyway.不许碰我妹妹\Hands off my sister.我干嘛碰她她浑身布满了飞机细菌\Why would I touch her? She's covered with airplane germs.我当然不是跟你说我是跟他说\I'm so not talking to you. I'm talking to him.-喂我都是有女朋友的人了-拜托\- Hey. I've got a girlfriend now. - Oh, please.我的妹妹比你那女友辣多了\My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend这点你心知肚明\and you know it.她们俩都很辣行了吧\Let's just agree they're both hot.但是伙计你说的可是我妹妹\But dude, that's my sister you're talking about!算了不说这个话题\Okay, forget who's hotter.普丽娅第一次来洛杉矶时我和莱纳德\The first time Priya came to L.A., Leonard and I made a pact出于对我们友情以及对你的尊敬\out of respect to our friendship and to you我们约定谁也不能泡你妹妹\that neither of us would hit on her.你们拉钩钩了吗\Did you pinky-swear?当然\Yes.那好吧\Okay, then.补鞋匠的水果派我到现在还忍不住发笑\Cobbler. I'm still laughing.真高兴再次见到你莱纳德\It's really nice to see you again, Leonard.是啊我也很高兴见到你\Yeah. It's good to see you, too.你到了\Here you go.谢谢\Thanks.哇哦哇哦哇哦\Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!继续\Okay.你跟你的妹妹有什么特别计划吗\So you got any special plans with your sister?没有就是一起出去玩\Oh, not really. Just hang out.我总是跟人说如果你只能在\I always tell people, "If you have only one day洛杉矶呆一天火车一日游是最佳选择\in Los Angeles, make it a train day."火车一日游\Train day?乐趣始于在影城的卡尼餐厅吃早午饭\The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City在改造过的铁路餐车里有一个热狗站\a hotdog stand in a converted railroad dining car.下一站Travel Town\Next stop, Travel Town一家户外的博物馆专门展出1880年至1930年的\an outdoor museum featuring 43 railroad engines铁路引擎汽车和其他轨道车辆\cars, and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s. 最后我们在浮华与魅力并存的好莱坞下车\And, finally, we're off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood对就在好莱坞的卡尼餐厅吃晚饭\for dinner at--that's right-- the Hollywood Carney's那是另外一个改造过的铁路餐车热狗站\a hotdog stand in a <i>different</i> converted railroad dining car.我们才不会玩这个\I don't think we're going to do that.显然你讨厌寻乐\Well, then apparently you hate fun.普丽娅还没回来呢\Priya's not back yet?这很正常\Well, I guess that's not unusual.女人男人一个蹲着一个站着\Women, men, the whole sitting-standing deal.咱们刚才聊到哪里了\So what are we talking about?我和普丽娅的出游计划\Uh, my plans with Priya.他拒绝火车一日游\He rejected Train Day.你有说清楚那是两辆不同的火车车厢\Did you make it clear that it's two different train cars改造成的热狗站吗\turned into hotdog stands?十分清楚\Abundantly.我想他就是讨厌寻乐\I guess he just hates fun.我也是这么说的\That's what I said!好了你们有什么新闻\Okay, so... what's new with you guys?我有女朋友了\I have a girlfriend now.不错嘛\Hey, good for you!嗯我就想让大家都知道\Yeah, I just want to put it out there以防我不经意\in case I inadvertently朝你喷射出我的性引诱外激素\squirt any pheromones in your direction.满意了吧\Happy?普丽娅你有什么安排吗\So, Priya, what are your plans while you're here?我不知道我只有一天时间\I don't know. I just have the one day.你喜欢火车吗\Do you like trains?不是特别喜欢\Not particularly.那你在机场上等着登机就好了\You might as well just wait at the airport for your flight.你在一片森林当中\"You are in a forest."在西面有一片流沙\"There is quicksand to the west有一条通向东面的路\a path leads to the east."去东面\Go east.一道铁门挡住了你的路\"An iron gate blocks your way."开门\Open gate.上锁了\"It's locked."这样啊\Hmm.那算了\Well, so much for that.很晚了你怎么还不睡\It's getting pretty late. How come you're still up?我刚在网上发现了一款游戏模拟器\I found an emulator online that lets you play classic text-based可以玩上世纪80年代的经典文字游戏\computer games from the 1980s.不错啊\That's pretty cool.当然了因为它用到了世界上最强大的图像处理器\Oh, yes. It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip:想象力\imagination.你倒是真该好好发掘一下\You've really got to get out more.向北走\Go north.你不能走这条路\"You can't go that way."向西走\Go west.巨魔挡住了你的道路\"A troll blocks your passage."好吧系好你的安全带\Okay. Fasten your seatbelts.剿灭巨魔\Kill troll.用什么\"With what?"用剑\With sword.你没有剑\"You don't have the sword."天呐这种倒霉事真降临到我头上了\Good golly, it's as if it's actually happening to me. 拉杰总算上床睡了\Raj finally went to bed.可谢尔顿还没睡\Sheldon's still up.你跟我说过他九点会睡的\You said he goes to bed at 9:00.他的确应该睡了但他刚痴迷于一款电脑游戏...\Yeah, he does, but he got caught up in acomputer game and...用斧头击杀巨魔\Hit troll with axe!用斧头击杀巨魔\Hit troll with axe!用斧头击杀巨魔\Hit troll with axe!服了这真是个顽强的巨魔\My, this is one tough troll.你没法摆脱他吗\Can't you get rid of him?根据以往经验不可能\If the past is any indication, no.莱纳德我陷进流沙里了\Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand!这斧头在拖我下去呢\The axe is dragging me down!扔掉斧头\Drop axe!扔掉斧头英明\Drop axe, brilliant!稍等一下\Give me a minute.-谢尔顿-等一下\- Sheldon. - Hold on.我正在思考如何能拿到桶\Trying to figure out how to get the bucket这样我就能扛着泥土越过那条龙了\so I can carry the mud past the dragon.-谢尔顿你还得早起工作呢-我知道\- Sheldon, you need to work in the morning. - I know! 那还不赶紧睡觉\Well, then bed, mister!再给我五分钟嘛\Five more minutes!你确定吗\Really?你打算冒着在热力波动学研讨会上打瞌睡的\You're going to risk getting sleepy in the middle of your风险继续玩下去吗\thermodynamic fluctuations seminar?你知道自己在公众面前打哈欠的后果吧\You know what happens when you yawn in public. 大家都会看着我形态奇异的小舌头\Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula.你也不想看到这个画面吧\You don't want that, do you?不想\No.但我们社会嘲笑奇异舌头的做法是可耻的\But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.刚才谁敲门了\Who was at the door?呃楼管员\Uh, building manager.他们要来修个管子\They have to fix a pipe所以明天中午到下午两点会停水\so the water'll be off tomorrow from noon to 2:00.这是让人无法接受的\That's unacceptable.我们理应提前得到书面通知的\We're supposed to be given written notice.没关系的反正我们到时候也是在工作的\Well, no, it doesn't matter-- we'll be at work.如果我不小心把番茄汤撒到衣服上怎么办\What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt我必须回家来换\and have to come home to change结果发现没有水来泡洗衣粉吗\only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak?别忘了分叉的小舌头谢尔顿\Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!那我明天吃鸡肉面吧晚安\I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night!我们一定得注意小声点\We're going to have to be very quiet.我想到如何拿到桶了\I know how to get the bucket!我可以反过来握斧头\I can turn the axe around然后用斧头把钩到水桶\and use the handle to reach it.让我试试\Let's see.向北走\Go north.你现在身处森林\"You are in a forest."继续向北走\Go north.你仍然身处森林\"You are in a forest."再往北走呢\Go north.你还是身处森林天呐我想我迷路了\"You are in a forest." Oh dear, I believe I'm lost.我还是明天从头再玩吧\Well, I'll just have to get a fresh start tomorrow.不不不你刚才只不过方向搞错了而已\No, no, no! You just took a wrong turn.你只要把图画出来就行了\You just need to map it out.来吧我来帮你\Come on, I'll help you.你停在了小溪旁然后向北走了三次对吧\So you stopped at the stream, and you turned north three times?是的\Yes.你说对了你是迷路了祝你好运\You're right. You're lost. Good luck.莱纳德醒醒\Leonard. Wake up.抱歉\Huh? Wh-- Sorry.抱歉什么啊\For what?我也不知道只要我跟女孩子同床共枕后\I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's just-- 这就是我的条件反射应答\it's my go-to response.已经六点了我得在拉杰睡醒\It's 6:00. I have to get back to Raj's发现我不见了之前赶紧回去了\before he wakes up and realizes I'm gone.哦那好吧\Oh. Right. Sure.我真希望你能在洛杉矶待久点\I wish you could stay in L.A. a while longer.我也想啊\Mmm, me, too.知道吗我刚才一直在想\You know, I was thinking印度其实也有这么多先进的实验设施了\there are some great research facilities in India.你想说什么莱纳德\Where are you going with this, Leonard?我其实想说反正我在这也没啥牵挂\Well, I'm just saying, you know, I don't have any real ties here我也可以搬去新德里[印度城市] 我们可以一起你懂得\so if I were to move to New Delhi, we could, you know--出去玩玩\go out.莱纳德我们五年前不就谈过这个了吗\Leonard, didn't we have this conversation five years ago?是这样的但是...\Well, yes, but...今非昔比了嘛\things have changed.你也长大了我也长大了\You know, you're older, I'm older--看吧再也没什么漫画英雄的床单了\Look, no more superhero bed sheets.亲爱的\Sweetheart我们在一起很愉快并不意味着\just because we have fun when I come to town doesn't mean 我想要开展一段正式的感情生活\I want to have a serious relationship.-不想吗-不想\- It doesn't? - Mm-mm.此外我永远也不可能介绍个白种男孩给我的父母\And besides, I could never bring a whiteboy home to my parents.他们宁愿要头牛\They'd have a cow.这在印度可就很大件事了\Which is a much bigger deal in India.我也没很纯的白人血统啦\I'm not that white.我的高祖母有一半彻罗基[印第安族]血统\My great-great-grandmother was half Cherokee.我知道虽然不是真正的印度血统但也算印什么了啊\I know that's not the right kind of Indian, but it is something.你真有趣\You're funny.莱纳德\Leonard?莱纳德\Leonard?莱纳德\Leonard?啥事\What?我听到了女人的笑声\I heard a woman laughing.哦我刚才想试试自己能否笑得像个女人\Oh, uh, yeah. I was trying to see if I could laugh as a woman.哦那做的不错啊很真实啊\Oh! Well, good job. Quite convincing.我闻到了香水味\I smell perfume.空气清洗剂的味道\Air freshener.你这脸颊和脖子上是口红吗\And is that lipstick on your cheek and neck?是疹子很严重的疹子\Rash. That's a bad rash.深表同情\My sympathies.我很了解这种红色祸害也就是皮炎\I'm no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis. 我在我的乳液和软膏系列里\Can I interest you in a topical steroid帮你找一种管用的类固醇好吗\from my lotion and unguent collection?好啊好啊这主意不错\Uh, yeah, yeah, that sounds great.很好我相信我可以找到\Very well. I'm sure I can find something帮你止痒的东西\that will help you ditch that itch.好了他去洗手间了我们走\Okay, he's in the bathroom. Let's go.你喜欢软膏还是霜剂\Do you prefer ointment or cream?霜剂\Cream.要不要含麻醉添加剂的\With or without a numbing agent?不要\Without.真的吗莱纳德\Really, Leonard?有皮炎的时候可不能逞英雄\There are no heroes when it comes to dermatitis.好吧那就要\Fine. With.处方药还是非处方的强效药\Prescription or non-prescription strength?发挥你的判断力吧\Use your best judgment.我有一支很不错的2009年的肛泰软膏\Well, I think I have a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC.通常是针对严重发炎的痔疮的\It's usually indicated for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids但是对非粘膜器官也管用\but it also goes nicely with non-mucosal body parts.听起来不错\Sounds great.明智的选择\Excellent choice.好了快点快点快点\Okay, hurry, hurry, hurry.快走快走快走\Come on, come on, come on.普丽娅\Priya?早上好谢尔顿\Good morning, Sheldon.羞耻呀莱纳德羞耻\For shame, Leonard, for shame.我居然还差点准备\And to think, I was ready to waste把我最后一点好用的痔疮霜浪费在你身上\the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you.挺开心的啊\Making pretty good time, huh?你真的想说这个吗莱纳德\Is that really what you want to talk about, Leonard?不是\No.那你想说什么\What do you want to talk about?拜托别跟任何人说\Please don't tell anyone我跟拉杰的妹妹过夜了\I spent the night with Raj's sister.说出来了\There it is.要是有人问起来呢\What if someone asks?没人会问我是不是跟拉杰的妹妹过夜了\No one's going to ask if I spent the night with Raj's sister.或许吧但是他们可能会问我别的\Perhaps, but they might ask me something else.-比如呢-比如说\- Like what? - Like莱纳德最近有没有做出背叛朋友的行为\"Has Leonard betrayed any of his friends recently?"普丽娅和我都是成年人了\Priya and I are both adults.我没有背叛拉杰\I didn't betray Raj.你有但是我指的是霍华德\In fact, you did, but I was referring to Howard.你在说什么\What are you talking about?2005年4月12日\April 12, 2005.在图卢卡湖的鲍勃大头娃汉堡店里\Bob's Big Boy, Toluca Lake.拉杰第一次把普丽娅介绍给我们\Raj had just introduced us to Priya for the first time.她正在享受印度教禁止的美味食物\She was enjoying the sweet taste of Hindu rebellion那就是鲍勃超级大头娃牛肉堡\in the form of a Bob's Super Big Boy hamburger.为了维护你们的友谊\In order to preserve your friendship你和霍华德发拉钩钩说\you and Howard made a pinky swear你们俩人都不许追求她\that neither of you would attempt to woo her.我点了一份奶酪牛肉片\I had a patty melt.好吧我背叛了霍华德\Okay, fine, I betrayed Howard.-还有拉杰-好的还有拉杰\- And Raj. - All right, and Raj.还有我\And me.你\You?你违反了室友协议中\Violation of the Roommate Agreement's有留宿客人要提前通知之一条款\overnight guest notification clause.好吧我是个令人讨厌的家伙\Okay, fine, I-I'm a horrible human being.我就是帕萨迪纳的达斯·维达\I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.{\an8}{\fn方正黑体简体\fs18\b1\bord1\shad1\3c&H2F2F2F&}《星球大战》中的重要角色黑武士你当达斯·维达还太矮了点\You're far too short to be Darth Vader.你最多也就是叛徒伊渥克[星球大战]\At best you might be a turncoat Ewok.我只是想说普丽娅已经走了\My point is: Priya's gone and it would be much better要是没人知道这件事就最好了\if no one else found out about us.你是说你想让我帮你保密\You mean you want me to keep a secret?是的\Yes.你知道我是保守不了秘密的\You know I can't keep a secret.你努力尝试的话就可以的\You can if you try.就这样想\Think about it this way:如果我是蝙蝠侠你是艾尔福\um, if I were Batman and you were Alfred{\an8}{\fn方正黑体简体\fs18\b1\bord1\shad1\3c&H2F2F2F&}蝙蝠侠的管家你一定可以对我的身份保密对吧\you'd keep that secret, right?凭什么你是蝙蝠侠\Why do you get to be Batman?因为蝙蝠侠才有身份的秘密呀\Because Batman has the secret.艾尔福也有秘密的\Alfred has secrets, too.-什么秘密-艾尔福知道\- Like what? - Alfred knows芭芭拉·科尔顿是蝙蝠女\that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl.而我刚刚就把这个秘密告诉了蝙蝠侠\Which I've now just told to Batman.你看我就是保守不了秘密\See, I cannot keep a secret.挞哒\Ta-dah!什么\What?挞哒\Ta-dah.这是\It's short for...哒哒哒哒的缩减版\Da-da-da-da.谢尔顿我正忙着呢\Kind of busy here, Sheldon.我知道所以我才缩减了\I know, that's why I shortened it.你想干吗\What do you want?我是来给你提供昨晚的不在场证明的\I came to go over your alibi for last night.什么不在场证明\What alibi?你让我替你撒谎而你也知道\You've asked me to lie on your behalf, and as you know我很讨厌没有提前准备的谎言\I am deeply uncomfortable with impromptu dishonesty所以我就给你准备了不在场的铁证\so I've provided you with an ironclad alibi.你昨晚不可能跟普丽娅过夜\You couldn't have spent last night with Priya因为你跟另一个女人在一起\because you were with another woman.我一定会后悔的\Oh, I'm so sure I'm gonna regret this但我还是要问我跟谁在一起\but who was I with?风趣但作风随便的麦琪·麦凯瑞小姐\The fun-loving and morally loose Miss Maggie McGarry. 天啊\Oh, God.你们是在帕萨迪纳最有名的\You met her at Pasadena's most popular爱尔兰酒吧幸运鲍德温酒吧认识的\Irish watering hole, Lucky Baldwin's麦琪是那里的吧台服务员\where Maggie spends her nights tending bar她一头卷发心怀梦想\with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams.莱纳德想要苟合的话就打给我\"Leonard, call me if you are interested in coitus.麦琪·麦凯瑞敬上\Sincerely, Maggie McGarry."如果真的有人\And if anyone were打这个号码查证的话他们会听到\to actually call that number, they will hear this.祝你有个美好的早晨\Top of the morning to you.这里是麦琪·麦凯瑞家\You've reached Maggie McGarry.在轻盈的哔声后请留言\Leave a message after the wee little beep.很真吧\It's pretty convincing, huh?那都不是真人发声\That wasn't even a real person.最后还有\And here is the clincher:一撮麦琪的红棕色头发\a lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair.你这是从哪弄来的\Where'd you get that?从灵长类实验室的红毛猩猩身上剪的\From an orangutan in the primate lab.红毛猩猩\An orangutan?又没人会去验DNA 莱纳德\Well, no one's going to run a DNA test on it, Leonard.说真的你想得太多了\Honestly, you overthink everything.谢尔顿我不需要不在场证明\Sheldon, I don't need an alibi.只要你不乱说话\Nobody's going to ask about last night没人会问昨晚的事的\as long as you just zip your lip.谢了\Thank you.别担心不会有事的\Now, don't worry, everything is going to be fine.强烈怀疑好啊\Hey.莱纳德你能不能告诉霍华德\Hey, Leonard, will you please tell Howard我妹妹从没喜欢过他\my sister has never been attracted to him?得了拉杰\Come on, Raj我怎么知道你妹妹\how am I supposed to know现在喜欢谁以前喜欢过谁\who she is attracted to or was attracted to将来又会喜欢上谁啊\or who she might be attracted to in the future?我对这个话题\And I have nothing to contribute毫无建设性意见\to this conversation.因为我也完全不知道\Because I, too, know absolutely nothing普丽娅对男性伴侣的偏好\about Priya's preferences in male companionship.所以我会再次闭上嘴\And with that, I will re-zip my lip.对了你们觉得昨晚\Hey, so what did you guys think卡布里卡的最新一集怎么样\of the new episode of Caprica last night?我没看\I didn't see it.啥没看\Didn't see it?那你在干什么\What were you doing?我出去了\Uh, I was out.啥昨天可是卡布里卡之夜\What, on Caprica night?是啊我出去喝了一杯\Yeah, I, uh, went for a drink.真的假的就你\Really, you?你去哪儿了\Where, w-where'd you go?去了...\To, uh...幸运鲍德温酒吧\Lucky Baldwin's.我听说过那地方\Oh, I've heard of that place.那不是帕萨迪纳最受欢迎的爱尔兰酒吧么\Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole? 没错\Yes.你有没有在那里\Did you meet遇到谈得来的人\anyone interesting there是不是个滥交的红发调酒师\perhaps a promiscuous, redheaded barmaid?说实话我不行了\As a matter of fact... I-I-I-I-I can't, I can't我做不到\I can't do it.你当然可以你做得很好相当令人信服\Sure you can, you're doing fine, it's very believable. 我很抱歉拉杰但事实上\I'm sorry, Raj, but the truth is昨晚我和普丽娅在一起\I was with Priya last night.别听他的\Don't listen to him.他还满脑子爱尔兰威士忌和熏蛋\He's still light-headed from all the Irish whiskey一团浆糊呢\and pickled eggs in his system.你和普丽娅在一起做什么\What were you doing with Priya?我确信他们是在性交\I believe they engaged in coitus但更重要的是\but more importantly如果莱纳德没有半途而废\if Leonard had not abandoned his story你觉得那个故事可信么\would you have found it plausible?你上了我妹妹\You slept with my sister?!对\Yeah.你怎么可以这样我们约定好的\How could you? We had a pact.不好意思我认为"你情何以堪她可是我妹妹"\Excuse me, I think "How could you? She's my sister"总比小孩子的勾勾手约定重要吧\takes precedence over a five-year-old pinky swear.请允许我指出\May I point out要是在平行世界你的朋友会说\in a parallel universe, your friends are saying"麦琪·麦凯瑞这名字听起来真可爱"\"Maggie McGarry-- she sounds lovely."听着我承认我是越线了\Look, I-I admit it, I may have crossed a line here但是拉杰得了你妹妹都成年了\but come on, Raj, your sister is a grown woman对她来说我不过是块禁忌的白巧克力罢了\and to her, I'm a forbidden piece of white chocolate.真是难以置信\I don't believe it.这是对我信任莫大的背叛\This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.要是我告诉你我向她献出真心\No, w-w-would it help if I told you却被她狠狠践踏你会好受点么\that I offered her my heart, and she kind of stomped on it?她践踏得多狠\How hard did she stomp?相当狠\Very hard.好吧好受多了\Okay, I'm good.那个拉杰\Well, Raj我只是想说我绝不会背叛你\I just want to say that I'd never betray your trust.不会像莱纳德那样我尊重你\Unlike Leonard, I respect you.真的么\Really?当然\Mm-hmm.你瞒着拉杰你把他的iPhone\Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj掉进了便池这算哪门子尊重\about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?神马我还把那玩意贴我脸上呢\Dude, I put that thing on my face!我觉得对拉杰最有趣的欺骗\I think a more amusing violation of Raj's trust是霍华德居然让他相信\is when Howard convinced him that foreigners give presents感恩节外国人要送美国人礼物\to Americans on Thanksgiving.喂我也没看到你\Hey, I didn't see you giving back把他送你的史努比刨冰机还给他啊\your Snoopy snow cone maker.那都是骗我的吗\That was all a lie?今年的礼物我都准备好了\This year's gifts are already wrapped.既然我们谈到背叛朋友的事\And as long as we're talking about betraying our friends何不说说谢尔顿曾经整个月都\how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects把虫子磨碎再混进莱纳德的食物里\and mixing them into Leonard's food?不好意思\Well, excuse me.那又不算背叛\That was not a betrayal.这只是个实验用来证明\That was an experiment to determine什么浓度会使食物尝起来有"蛀虫"感\at what concentration food starts tasting "mothy."你在我食物里放虫子\You put moths in my food?!为了科学而献身\For science.你居然用吃过虫子的嘴吻我妹妹\I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth.你还用了谢尔顿的牙刷呢\Well, I can't believe you used Sheldon's toothbrush.你用了我的牙刷\You used my toothbrush?没用刷毛的部分不过是用那橡皮垫\Not the brush part, just the little rubber thing剔了剔我的牙顺便揉了揉牙床\to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.好吧我想我可以说\Okay, I-I think it's safe to say我们都做过一些\that we've all done some things不那么光彩的事\we're not particularly proud of.但是算了我们是朋友\But come on, we're friends.朋友会互相谅解彼此的小错误\Friends overlook each other's minor lapses.所以霍华德我很抱歉背叛了我们的约定\For the record, Howard, I'm sorry that I broke our pact.多谢\Thank you.我很抱歉把你的iPhone掉进了便池\And I'm sorry about your phone还有感恩节的事\and Thanksgiving.既然说到这个\And while we're at it其实国庆节你也不用替我们洗衣服\you don't have to wash our clothes on the Fourth of July. 既然你们都道歉了\As long as we're apologizing谢尔顿很抱歉我用了你的牙刷\Sheldon, I'm, I'm sorry I used your toothbrush.我也很抱歉...\And I'm sorry...那这种行为让人忍无可忍\but that behavior is beyond the pale不可原谅\and cannot be tolerated.我们不再是朋友了\We are no longer friends.感恩节我送你个托马斯蒸汽火车头\I got you a talking Thomas the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving.会喷真的烟吗\With real puffing smoke?会\Yes.好吧\All right.但我记住你了\But I'm watching you.哎呀你把史努比拿出来了\Hey, you've got Snoopy out. 我能来一杯刨冰么\Can I have a snow cone?当然\Well, sure.味道不错\This is pretty good.这是什么味道\What flavor is this?猜猜\Guess.-木瓜吗-不是\- Papaya? - No.-石榴呢-接近了\- Guava? - You're so close.我放弃是什么\I give up.芒果毛毛虫\Mango caterpillar.你这是干什么\What are you doing?!你说你喜欢的呀\You said you liked it.。

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