Howdoyouknowthat-_英语笑话
十个简短的英语小笑话
十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。
”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. Atthis age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hisfather replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
关于学习的英语笑话
关于学习的英语笑话下面是店铺整理的关于学习的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
关于学习的英语笑话：某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足?为什么?当然是有六个孩子的那个，因为有600万美元那个还想要得更多。
关于学习的英语笑话：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏) to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。
英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)
英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)第一篇：英语笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?". the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:"我的朋友死了,怎么办?."服务人员说:"淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了." 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:"好了,那接下来怎么办."下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and s aid: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:"抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?"乙:"我看见好多好多的星星."甲:"如此你能推断出什么结论?"乙回答道:"嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物."甲无语:"你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷."第二篇：英语笑话英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: "that's the ugliest baby that i've ever seen. ugh!" the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: "the driver just insulted me!" the man says: "you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i'll hold your monkey for you."(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。
英语搞笑笑话8篇
英语搞笑笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。
来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。
吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。
英语搞笑笑话：Fried chickenIn class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。
然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。