英文小笑话集锦
它咬人吗 Does He Bite
Reggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with
him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？
罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？
里基：这正是我想要查明的。
两块蛋糕 Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！
不算太坏 Not too Bad
Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"
"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."
“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”
“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”
A Silly Father 傻爸爸
Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He
cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White
became very
angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said, You beat my son
and I dare to beat yours.
怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说：爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一
耳光。怀特先生听了非常生气，突然，他重重地扇了自己一耳光，说：你打我儿子，
我也敢打你儿子。
让座 To Give Up the Seat
Little Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me
to give up my seat to a lady.Well, you've done the right thing, says Mommy。But
Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
小约翰告诉妈妈：早上我和爸爸坐公车时，他让我给一位女士让座。
好，你做得对。妈妈说。
但是，妈妈，我那时正坐在爸爸的大腿上。
别太自私 Don't be selfish
A mother is admonishing her son.
_Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.
_But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.
一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。
"听着，约翰，别太自私，让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。" "妈妈，我是让他。我
先骑下坡，他再骑上坡。"
A Good Boy 好孩
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是个卖糖果的。”
我的狗不识字
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Marry Him 嫁给他
Jane loved Tony , but she worried about all the money he squandered when they
went out together. How can I stop Tony spending so much money on me? She asked
her mother.Marry him!
简很爱托尼，但是当他们一起出去的时候，托尼总是大手大脚地花钱，这使简感到
很不安。我怎样才能不让托尼在我身上花那么多钱呢？她问自已的母亲。
嫁给他！
Much Worse 那就更糟
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your
watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That
would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
The first time
Patient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.
Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.
病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。
外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。
Money and friend
A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?
B: Friends, of course.
A: Why?
B: I can always borrow money from friends.
甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？
乙：当然是朋友。
甲：为什么？
乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。
You are too late.你太晚了
On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."
在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”
十个简短的英语小笑话
十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。
”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。
经典英语冷笑话12篇
经典英语冷笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的经典英语冷笑话12篇，以供大家学习参考。
经典英语冷笑话：小心有狗!As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。
“这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。
“是，就是他”，店主回答。
听到这个回答，陌生人觉得很好笑。
“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。
经典英语幽默笑话集锦
经典英语幽默笑话集锦笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。
下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话集锦，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦精选(一)猪还是女巫 Pig or WitchA man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.他们继续前行。
这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。
If only men would listen.要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
(二)The World's Greatest Swordsman世界上最伟大的击剑手At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell inanticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
英语搞笑笑话8篇
英语搞笑笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。
来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。
吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。
英语搞笑笑话：Fried chickenIn class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。
然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。
笑死人英文小笑话大全
笑死人英文小笑话大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
店铺整理了笑死人的英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!笑死人的英文小笑话篇一My 15一year一old son came bounding in from school and found me in bed. "Don' t you feel well，Mom?” he asked with concern. "No, I don't,” I said.我十五岁的儿子连跑带颠地跑回家里发现我躺在床上。
“妈妈，您觉得不舒服吗?”他关心地问。
“是的，我有点不舒服:”我说。
"Well, don't you worry about dinner," he reassured me "I'll carry you down to the stoves”“那么，您别担心晚饭了:”他安慰我说:“我可以把你背到楼下的炉灶前去。
”笑死人的英文小笑话篇二Teacher: Johnny .why are you late for school every morning?老师:约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?Johnny; Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says，’School一Go Slow.’约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着“学校—缓行”。
笑死人的英文小笑话篇三Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?老师:马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.马修:先生，那里的天气很冷。
Teacher: Wrong.老师:错了。
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrivesfrozen!马修:可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
英语幽默笑话汇总
英语幽默笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话大全，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默笑话一：可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。
”酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。
”英语幽默笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
短篇精选英语爆笑笑话100篇
短篇精选英语爆笑笑话100篇1、"There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair re d.The jokes stopped and she felt so good,she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon.While on this ride,she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......"2、"There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex.So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.""My l ittle sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing,so when I say`baloney`it means push h arder,and when I say`pastrami`it means push slower.""......"3、1．What the fuck is going on?（到底他妈的怎么回事?）通常此话出于黑人之口，且口气最宜为疑惑，不解，愤怒等等。
若是白人则多数时候会说-What the hell is going on?意义相同而适用于更多场合。
说此话之人身份通常为上级，且相处较久。
不过如果你出差回家时看见老婆身边躺着个赤条条的陌生人，那它可就派上大用场了！2．You son of bitch!（你个狗娘养的！）令人意外的是，最爱说这句话的往往是女性。
英文小笑话集锦
英文小笑话集锦1、它咬人吗Does He BiteReggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?Reggie: That's what I want to find out.里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？里基：这正是我想要查明的。
2、两块蛋糕Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！3、不算太坏Not too BadDid you sell any of your paintings at the art show?""No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。
”4、A Silly Father 傻爸爸Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became veryangry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said, You beat my son and I dare to beat yours.怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说：爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一耳光。