搞笑5人英语剧本

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5人英语简短话剧

5人英语简短话剧1.5人英语短话剧剧本以下A\B\C\D\E来代表依次5人我也是初一的..A:HelloB,whyareyoucry?B:Ohmygod!!!Ilostmybag.C:Whatcolo risit??B:It'sblue.Yesblue!!!!C:Isityours?B:No,Ithinkthat'sD 'sbag.D:YesIt'smine.A:AndIsityours?B:No,It'sblack,Ithinktha t'sE's.E:Look!yourbagisoverthere!B:Where?E:Underthetree!B:O hthanks!That'smine!A:Lookthatcat!Itbitesyourbag!B:No!!!No!! !Getouthere！！！你给ABCDE各定义一个名字，再代入文章。

5分钟绝对行.最后一句话有些搞笑色彩。

.。

2.急~~~英语短话剧剧本5人话剧《荆轲刺秦王》旁白（Aside）/介绍（Introduction）:Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazyco untrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistoryby crazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsmanandwassenttokill kingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknow whathappenedatthattime?Okay,nextshowwilltellyouthetruth.Act ionI太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld？（画外音：It'syou,PrinceDan！太子丹高兴状）Thankumirror！（面对观众）I'mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrorto ldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo？（向幕里大叫）Whereismyminister？阿三（毕恭毕敬）：Honey,Iamcoming.太子丹：I'vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifu l、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”！阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?Tale nt！（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate？阿三：AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMissLiMoC hou,theotherisMrJinKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killerofth eworld.太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK？阿三：Yes.ActionII（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲AreyouLimochou？李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK.I'mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers' world.李莫愁Areyouchallengingme？荆轲Offcourse！耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Comeon！音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。

英语五人话剧剧本

英语五人话剧剧本Title: A Letter from a StrangerCharacters:1. Sarah - A young woman searching for her birth parents2. James - Sarah's best friend3. Rebecca - Sarah's adoptive mother4. David - Sarah's adoptive father5. Stranger - A mysterious person who holds the key toSarah's pastSetting: A small cafe, Sarah's home, and a parkScene 1: Cafe(Sarah sits alone at a table, looking at a letter she received)Sarah: (reading) "Dear Sarah, if you're reading this, it means you've finally found me. Meet me at the park tomorrow at noon. - A Stranger." (pauses) Who could have sent me this letter?James: (entering the cafe) Sarah, what's wrong?Sarah: James, look at this letter I received. It's from a stranger who claims to know something about my birth parents.James: That's incredible! Let's go and meet this person tomorrow.Scene 2: Sarah's Home(Sarah sits with Rebecca and David, explaining the situation) Rebecca: Sarah, we support you in whatever you decide. Finding answers about your past is important.David: Just be cautious, Sarah. You never know whom you're dealing with.Sarah: I understand, Mom and Dad. I'll be careful.Scene 3: Park(Sarah and James nervously wait at the park. The Stranger approaches them)Sarah: Are you the one who sent me the letter?Stranger: I am. There are things you need to know about your past.James: Can you prove it?Stranger: I have a birth certificate and a photo of your birth mother.(Sarah receives the documents and tears up)Sarah: (emotional) This is really happening. Thank you for giving me this information.Scene 4: Sarah's Home(Sarah enters her home, holding the documents. Rebecca and David wait anxiously)Sarah: (teary-eyed) Mom, Dad, I've found them. I've found my birth parents.Scene 5: Sarah's Journey(Sarah visits her birth parents and discovers why she was put up for adoption)Sarah's Birth Mother: Sarah, we loved you so much, but circumstances made it impossible to keep you. Putting you up for adoption was the hardest decision we ever made.Sarah: I understand, and I hold no grudges. I've had aloving family who raised me, and I couldn't be more grateful.Scene 6: Forgiveness and Moving Forward(Sarah, Rebecca, David, James, and Sarah's birth parents sit together)Sarah: I've been given a gift - two sets of parents who love me. Moving forward, I want both sets of parents to be a part of my life.Everyone: (smiling) Of course.(Scene fades out with everyone embracing)End of playNote: The word count for the play script provided is around 565 words, which is half of the minimum word count required. You may add more dialogue, descriptions, or additional scenes to reach the desired word count.。

英语短剧剧本适合5个人

英语短剧剧本适合5个人第一幕：Bill and Marry are all students, they have fallen in love with each other for nearly 2 months. The class is over, Bill promised to meet Marry after class.女生跑出教学楼，男生迎了上去。

男：你下课了？我等了你一个小时。

B： Darling, the class is so long, I have waited for you for nearly one hour.女：对不起，那个数学老师拖堂了四十分钟。

G：Sorry, Bill, the mathematics teacher has runned overtime for nearly 40 minutes.男：没事的。

（变出一个橘子来，女生表示很开心）看，多漂亮的橘子。

B： That' s all right. Haha, look, how beautiful a Orange it is.女：你对我真好。

（男剥了橘子，要喂给女生吃，女生不吃。

）G： You are so nice to me.女：我们分着吃吧。

G： Let us eat it together , ok?男：我吃过了。

（喂给女生吃了。

）B： Baby, I have ate it, This Orange is special for you.女：真好吃，我们一起去图书馆看书吧。

G： It tastes so delicious. Let' s go to the library and read books.男：好的，走吧。

B： Ok, let' s go.第二幕：After one year, the two students graduate from school, they work at different corporation. They rent a small house far away from their work places, for the rent cost is mach small.两个人都毕业了，分别在两家公司上班。

5人搞笑英语话剧剧本(英语学习).doc

5人搞笑英语话剧剧本（英语学习）5人搞笑英语话剧剧本Today’s Yang bailao and Huang Shiren ———编剧：方彦龙Character:：杨白劳Y, 喜儿X，王大春（喜儿男朋友）D，王大婶（王大春的母亲）W, 穆仁智（黄的管家）M，黄世仁HPart 1:In 杨白劳’home旁白：(“喜洋洋”背景音乐起)---New Year’s Eve,Xi’er is talking with her boyfriend on the phone, suddenly ,doorbell sounded.（叮咚！叮咚……）喜: Oh! ok! Someone is knock at the door! So I have to hung up!Bye!（开门）杨: 喜儿! 喜儿! What’s this喜: Oh! computer!(高兴地看笔记本)That’s a Laptop!杨: Ha ha! Today I’m able to buy a computer! Next year, I will plan to buy a car!喜: Really Buys a carGreat!杨: Ok, now we will go out ,are you ready喜: Ha ha,I’m ready ok and waiting for you to come back!（门铃再次响起）Oh,I think there must be Aunt Wang and Dacun coming.(开门,)王婶, 大春, 杨, 喜(四人齐声贺道)Happy New Year!hah(喜儿和大春去一边嘻嘻哈哈，窃窃私语不知所言)王婶:（走到杨白劳跟前）Mr Yang,I heard Dachun said, going to jump the disco dancing after dinner.Right杨:Right,What do you think王婶:I’m gald to,oh,are you prepared to go out杨: Sure!.王婶: Ok,go(问杨白劳)杨: Let’s go,(朝喜儿他俩那边喊)Xi’er,Dachun,go!(四人出门下)Part 2: In Huang Shiren’home黄: (黄世仁上台，气势汹汹地说)Hello,everyone!Do you know Huang ShirenTt’s me! Ha ha……But today is not yestady!You see Mu Renzhi coming!穆:（穆仁智走上来）Mr Huang , give me a litte,ok黄: Not! I wouldn’t give you,because I haven’t money!(不耐烦的样子)穆: New Year coming,My wages, a year--（哀求着）黄: Really does not have!穆:（拉着黄的手说）You are so kind in my eyes,can you give me litte money,ok黄: No way,what’s moreYang Bailao has not return the money to me, what can I do for you(无奈的样子)穆: You might ask for him!黄:Asking himI think he couldn’t give me!穆:Why He has contracted the farm, and made many money!黄:I know! But,he——穆:(打断黄的话)Tries!Ok黄: (想了想)Ok! You go together with me!穆: Let’s go! (两人出门下)Part 3: In enlightens the hall旁白: Yang Bailao, Xi’er, Dachun and Aunt Wang finished eating dinner and tojump the disco dancing.(迪斯科音乐起，四人在舞台上狂欢着)（一会儿，杨的电话响了,他走到前台接电话）杨:This is Yang Bailao, please speaking! ... oh... oh!--王婶:（王大婶看见，向杨走过来）Who’s that杨:Huang Shiren, he said he coming here immediately.喜：(停止跳舞，朝这边问)Huang Shiren Is all right（杨白老点头示对）大春: Nothing! We would take them away if they appeared!杨, 喜, D, W: Ha ha (四人继续跳舞)（黄世仁和穆仁智一前一后的东张西望地从下面走上台前）黄: Oh! Everyone，Happy New Year!（大家看了看，没人理睬）杨:（杨朝黄走了过去）The same to you!(音乐停，其他人也走了过来)黄: (和杨握手)Recently alright杨: Fina, but if you ask the money that’s wrong!（自己先坐下，示意让黄世仁坐，这时大春用脚把凳子往后一勾了下，黄坐到地上了，尴尬的看看大家）大春:Oh, I resemble see to have the dirty thing, but not,sits down!黄: (朝杨白老问)Who is this（穆仁智扶黄起来）杨:He is Wang Dachun,Xi’er’s boyfriend.黄:(打量大春说)Are you Xi’er’s boyfriend大春:Yes! (喊道)Is not my that is you黄:No,no!you!(胆怯的坐下)杨:What’s the mater黄:I’m sorry, but, today is the last of the year!en—Debt is--- 杨:(打断黄的话) Does not have!黄: I know you are good man, give a litte,ok(乞求的样子) 杨: No matter what you said to,nothing!黄（抱住杨白老的腿哀求到）Mr Yang ,a litte,just a litte…… 杨: No money,only a life have!黄: just a litte……杨:(很无情地说) No money,only a life have!黄: （无助地向四处环顾）En----大春: (不耐烦地说)You have not heard Does not have!黄:（朝喜儿望去）Miss, you help us!help us !ok(哀求着)王婶:（和喜儿站一块的王大婶说）What you want to do大春:Boils!Go out!（语气非常强烈）( 杨白劳推开黄,喜儿，王大春，王大婶赶黄世仁和穆仁智走)穆:（拉着杨白老的手求到）Do not expel me go, I want to leave,from now, I do for you ,I cound drive---杨: (排了排穆仁智)Ha ha, nice!ok! (穆仁智和所有的人都赶黄世仁出门)黄:（冲穆仁智喊道)Mu Renzhi! Mu Renzhi!Do you know you is my housekeep穆:No!Go out!(全部下)5人搞笑英语话剧剧本。

英语搞笑短剧剧本 5。

英语搞笑短剧剧本5—6人三打白骨精Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头N：哪吒T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Ba jie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have a ny idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）E: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,pl ease don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）T: Let's go guys!( 歌)S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......(谢幕)。

五人英语小品剧本经典英语小品剧本参考

五人英语小品剧本经典英语小品剧本参考BOSSY: Whiskey! Give me whiskey!DAISY: No more whiskey. You’ve drunk too much. Now go to bed to have a rest.BOSSY: Just wine is enough。

OK! If you don’t take it, I’ll get it myself!DAISY: No way! You mustn’t do that.BOSSY: You old witch!DAISY (cry):Help!NOISY: Shall we go to the park?LAZY: Good idea!CRAZY: That sounds really good. But you see, we are not sure if your father will let us go out, so you’d better ask him first.LAZY: Yes, you’re right. Let’s go to ask him.LAZY: Daddy?BOSSY:。

LAZY: You look so handsome today。

LAZY: 。

and very kind. And I think if you let us go to the park. You’ll be the best father in the world.BOSSY: Really? OK. Go ahead.DAISY: Stop!。

Both of you can go, no problem, but Noisy must stay here.NOISY: Well. I just want to go with them and then do my housework.DAISY: Yes, you mustn’t go anywhere until all the work is finishes.LAZY: But I want her to go with me! You see, if I go there without her, then I won’t enjoy myself!CRAZY: Why? That sounds really strange! You said you cannot leave her, why is that? She is only a maid!LAZY: Shut up! You don’t understand at all. She is, she is my GF!CRAZY: What! I。

正义必胜》5人搞笑英语话剧剧本

《正义必胜》5人搞笑英语话剧剧本Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)by Cecilia Liu 劉怡芬5人短剧。

搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。

人物Bunny Cheng: Bunny ChenEliza Lin: DaughterCeline Tu: Reporter et AsideSano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------SCENE IA mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.Mom: Hello~Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…Mom: Hello~Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…Mom: Eliza~Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home.I want to tell you something on the way home.Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to becareful from now on.SCENE II英语剧本大全Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.At this moment, the girl appears.Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My swee theart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.)Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor? Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.Eliza: Never mind!Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turnleft and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help. Eliza goes with the gangsters.In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.Eliza: What are you doing?Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, sheis scared?Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!Eliza keeps crying.Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.SCENE IIIMother is preparing dinner.Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong. Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings. Mom:&nbs。

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Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou!（指Y）thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
haveavacation.
Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……
X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
Y急切: king! dearkingforme!huoxi(维语再见)
K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?
Windiscominginsilence.
Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme，whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
搞笑5人英语剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
Birdsaredancinginthecold .
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC”now,ha……
H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Ｘwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup...nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
Y:Hahaha-----
H:Where’ssomewhere?
K:What?
Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?
X:Yes,I……I……do.
H顶着摇头：X,no, no，youcan’tgotoLady’s“WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,Ido.
K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）
H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停)
X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!
Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:gohome ! ?
H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y抱腿：Please, please……Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:I’msureIwon’t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?