幽默英语短句二十句
精选经典英文搞笑句子
1、姐从来不抄袭，但没说不复制。
sister never copied, but did not say not copy.2、种草不让人去躺，不如改种仙人掌！it's better to plant cactus instead of letting people lie down.3、哪里跌倒，哪里爬起。
老是在那里跌倒，我疑心那里有个坑！where to fall, where to climb. i always fall there. i suspect there's a pit there!4、我心眼儿有些小，但是不缺；我脾气很好，但不是没有！i have a small mind, but i don't lack it; i have a good temper, but not none!5、瞧你这长相，不用化装就能去演恐怖片了。
look at your appearance. you can make horror movies without makeup.6、你还是让我跪搓板吧，跪电暖气是在受不了啊。
you'd better let me kneel on the rubbing board. the kneeling heating can't stand it.7、老子不打你，你就不知道我文武双全。
if lao zi does not hit you, you will not know that i am both civil and military.8、天上不会掉馅饼，因为我们不相信。
there will be no pie in the sky, because we don't believeit.9、人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人！the difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but sometimes people are not human beings.10、傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。
幽默的英语句子短语
幽默的英语句子短语1. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.4. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!5. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.6. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.7. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.8. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.9. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a placebo.10. I'm not a weatherman, but I can tell you that you're hot.11. I'm not a chef, but I can make your heart melt.12. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.13. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about you give me yours?14. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.15. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a placebo.16. I'm not a weatherman, but I can tell you that you're hot.17. I'm not a chef, but I can make your heart melt.18. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.19. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about you give me yours?20. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.21. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a placebo.22. I'm not a weatherman, but I can tell you that you're hot.23. I'm not a chef, but I can make your heart melt.24. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.25. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about you give me yours?26. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.。
英语搞笑句子大全
英语搞笑句子大全英语搞笑句子大全很多人觉得英语无趣，其实不然。
不信你看看这些搞笑的英语句子大全。
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
4. The wise never marry，and when they marry they bee otherwise..聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
5. Suess is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
6. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you canput off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
7. "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep.现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。
8. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.应该有更好的方式开始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。
9. Hard work never killed any body.But why take the risk?努力工作不会导致死亡。
经典英文搞笑句子
经典英文搞笑句子导读：1、我只为人民币服务，谢谢。
I just for the service, thank you.2、我喜欢的人，都在硬盘里。
I like of the person, all in the hard disk.3、人又不聪明，还学人家秃顶！People don't clever, also learn bald!4、走自己的路，让别人打车去吧！Walk yourself's road, let others take a taxi.5、姐从来不抄袭，但没说不复制。
Elder sister never copied, but didn't say don't copy.6、傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。
Stupid and not dumb, should see you will be.7、从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。
From heaven to hell, elder brother just passing by.8、将薪比薪想一下，算了，不想活了。
Think about it than will pay salary, calculate, don't want to live.9、路漫漫其修远兮，不如我们去打的。
I see road, why don't we go to take a taxi.10、众里寻他千百度，没病你就走两步。
He found thousands of baidu, you take two steps have no disease.11、种草不让人去躺，不如改种仙人掌！Grass don't let a person to lie, it is better to switch to a cactus!12、泼出去的水，老子连盆子都不要了。
Pour out the water, Lao tze even basin all don't.13、如果这都不算爱，那我宁愿卖白菜。
精选幽默文案句子简短英文
精选幽默文案句子简短英文1. Better late than ugly.2. I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged.3. My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.4. I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome.5. My life goal is to become so rich that I can hire someone to Instagram my food for me.6. I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.7. If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.8. My brain has too many tabs open.9. Tripped over my dog in the living room. Told him he's fired from his job as a trip hazard.10. I don't need Google, my wife knows everything.11. Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.12. Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.13. Swipe left if you don't like corny jokes. I feel we have good chemist-tree.14. My fingers are long so I can reach the last Pringle in the can.15. The snack that smiles back: ME.16. Sorry, I can't talk right now. It's cuddle time.17. I don't trip. I do random gravity checks.18. I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me.19. Fun fact: I'm hilarious.20. Keep calm and avoid weirdos.。
经典幽默英语段子精选
经典幽默英语段子精选经典幽默英语段子精选1：1、Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.任何值得做的，就把它做好。
2、Happiness is a way station between too much and too little.幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。
3、In love folly is always sweet.恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。
4、The hard part isn’t making the decision. It’s living with it.做出决定并不困难，困难的是接受决定。
5、Your happy passer-by all knows, my distressed there is no place hides.你的幸福路人皆知，我的狼狈无处遁形。
6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.你也许已走出我的视线，但从未走出我的思念。
7、Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone.爱不是什么可能、大概、也许，一旦爱上了，自己是十分清楚的。
8、In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.到头来，你活了多少岁不算什么，重要的是，你是如何度过这些岁月的。
9、When the whole world is about to rain, let’s make it clear in our heart together.当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。
10、It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you’re not happy to be with.宁愿一个人呆着，也不要跟不合拍的人呆一块。
幽默英语套路句子简短
幽默英语套路句子简短1. I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged. 我不是懒惰,我只是在动力上有些挑战。
2. My emails are like a sink full of dishes; I should really wash them soon. 我的邮箱就像个满是脏碗的水槽,我真应该抽时间把它们清理干净。
3. My brain decided to take a walk...and still hasn't returned. 我的大脑决定去散步了......至今没回来。
4. Don't annoy me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. 别惹我。
我都快没地方藏尸体了。
5. I don't trip. I do random gravity checks. 我没有跌倒,我只是在进行随机地心引力检查。
6. Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. 野营:你花重金过无家可归者的生活。
7. I'm not a mess; I'm creatively organized. 我并不凌乱,我只是创造性地组织着东西。
8. My life goal is to become so rich that I can hire someone to look me in the eye and tell me "no." 我的人生目标是变得非常有钱,能雇人直视我的眼睛告诉我“不”。
9. I don't need Google, my wife knows everything. 我不需要Google,我老婆什么都知道。
幽默英语短句二十句
幽默英语短句二十句1，Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。
2，Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。
3，Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on thevery edge of the pool and throw them fish?海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
4，Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 yearstelling them to sit down and shut-up.孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。
5，It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。
6，Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son,I’m still paying.”一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。
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幽默英语短句二十句1，Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。
2，Evening news is where they begin with …Good evening‟, and then proceed to tell you why it isn‟t.晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。
3，Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on thevery edge of the pool and throw them fish?海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
4，Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 yearstelling them to sit down and shut-up.孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。
5，It‟s not the fall that kills you; it‟s the sudden stop at the end.跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。
6，Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don‟t know son,I‟m still paying.”一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。
8, If at first you don‟t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.如果一次不成功，别放弃，再试一次、、、、、除非你在跳伞。
9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快两倍。
10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why dowe worry, and what is there to worry about?据说我们所担心的事90%都不会发生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解决。
所以，我们为什么要担心呢？又有什么值得担心的呢？11， I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or feartry to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soonthey‟ll forget my number.我的“心灵电话”是为祥和、健康和博爱而设。
每当怀疑、焦虑和恐惧试图和我联系时，电话总是在占线，所以很快它们就忘了我的号码12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.如果你看到麻烦从路上向你走来，有一点可以确定，在触到你以前，它们十有八九会滚进路边的沟。
13， Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable .真正的困难是可以克服的，想象出来的困难时难以征服的14， If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stressand tension. And if you didn‟t ask me, I‟d still have to sayit.如果你要问我长寿最关键的秘诀是什么，我会说一定要避免忧虑、焦虑和紧张。
如果你不问我，我也会这么说。
15， It is the trouble that never comes that causes the ioss of sleep.让我们失眠的总是那些从不会发生的麻烦。
16， Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it. But don‟tworry. Worry never fixes anything.每天担心一点点，一生便会失去很多年。
如果有问题，尽快去解决。
但不要担心，担心不能解决问题。
17， Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!不要担心路不平，去为精彩旅途而欢庆。
Definition of Love 诠释爱情1)Love is a beautiful dream. 爱是一场美梦。
2)Love is sweet torment. 爱是一种甜蜜的痛苦。
3)Love is a great teacher. 爱是以为伟大的导师。
4)Love is the touchstone of virtue. 爱情是美德的试金石。
5)Love is the sweetest joy and the wildest woe. 爱情是最甜蜜的幸福，最剧烈的悲痛。
6)Love is a fool who knows not what he is saying. 爱情是一个自己不知所言的傻瓜。
7)Love is an appetite of generation by the mediation of beauty. 爱情是一种以美做媒介的繁衍欲望。
8)Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world intoreality. 爱情是一种吧幻想世界变成现实的尝试。
9)Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered byimagination. 爱情是一幅大自然提供画布，想象力作笔的风景画。
10)Love is not two people gazing into each other‟s eyes, butrather two people looking outward in the same direction.爱不是你看我，我看你，而是两个人朝同一个方向往外看。
婚前“三思而后行”1)Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of oins. 婚姻中三分是爱，七分是宽恕。
2)Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shutafterwards.婚前睁大眼睛，婚后睁一只眼闭一只眼。
3） It‟s not beauty, but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.姑娘不是靠美貌，而是靠美德才能守住丈夫。
4） Love is an ideal things, but marriages a real thing ; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.爱情是理想的，而婚姻是现实的；如果将理想和现实混淆，则会受到惩罚。
5） We should measure affection, not like youngsters by the ardor of its passion, but by its strength and constancy.我们应该以力量和持久来衡量爱情，不应像年轻人那样只注重狂热的激情。
6) There are six requisites in every happy marriage. The first is faith and the remaining five are confidence.幸福的婚姻有六个条件，第一个是“忠贞”，其余五个是“信任”。
7）Tell me , dear, why can I pierce any target I well, but not my love‟s heart?告诉我，亲爱的，为什么我可以穿透任何我想要穿透的目标，却不能穿透我爱人的心。
8） You gave me the key to your heart, my love ;Then why do you make me knock?你给了我开启心扉的钥匙，我的至爱；那为什么还要我敲门呢？9) I thank God for giving you to me as my wife. You are truly are truly a precious gift. From across the miles I think of you and long to hold you in my arms. You are my love and my life.感谢上帝吧你许给我为妻。