从天净沙-秋思看汉译英中静态动词的动态化

Autumn Thoughts in Tune of Tianjingsha by Ma Zhiyuan 从《天净沙-秋思》汉译英看静态动词的动态化
How to make static verbs dynamic? Today we’re gonna to talk about how to make stamic verbes
dynamic.Now let’s us appreciate Ma Zhiyuan’s poet to explain it.
Key Points
静态动词的动态化：

Examples：In the first sentence the verbe “fall”impresses us with its dynamic
天净沙-秋思（找同学讲解词义）
又一个深秋里的黄昏，凄凉满目，一只乌鸦落在千年老树上，枯萎的藤蔓失去生命，流水潺潺，小
桥的那头，炊烟袅袅在屋顶升起。斜阳余晖中，黄沙弥漫的咸阳古道上，一匹瘦骨嶙峋的马在西风中萧
瑟前行，马背上的游子孤寂无依，思乡之情蔓延。
这首词的最大特点是名词化为动词的静态形式，eg：仅有的两个动词西下、在（都有静态意蕴）在英译
汉中我们怎样把这种深秋时孤寂无依的悲凉处境和深秋愁苦的思乡之情翻译出来呢？The most
characteristic of this poem is using the noum and stamic verbs to express the dynamic meaning.How to
properly translated into English and deliver the loneliness and homesick? Now let’s appreciate the different
translations.
三种版本：
Wayne Schlepp’s translation (also called S译)
Tune to “Sand and Sky”
Autumn Thoughts
Dry vine,old tree,crows at dusk,
Low bridge,stream running,cottages,
Ancient road,west wind,lean nag,
The sun westering，
And one with breaking heart at the sky’s edge.
评析：通篇没有一个动词，12个由前置或后置形容词修饰的名词铺就，构成一幅静态的组画，类似美
国意象派诗歌（Imagism 以代表人物庞德Pound 创立意象派初期借鉴和效仿中国古典诗歌）“意象叠加”
和“意象并置”的写作手法，汉语诗歌意合的“西化”，未必能使西方读者领会，如“西风”译成west wind
（温暖而湿润，无中文中原意，如ode to the west wind 西风颂），难以被接受。从词语角度，他忠实还
原原曲中名词的静态化，但是由于文化背景不同，西方读者不一定能领悟到曲中的意境与隐藏在其中的
思乡之情。
There isn’t any verbe in this translation but the nouns which are modified by preposition or postposition
adjectives.It like stamic picture.And the style is similar to the Imagism,which is created by Pound.The typical
written skills are imagism superposition and imagism apposition.However the shortage of the poem is that the
western readers couldn’t understand the meaning of this from different culture.Like the “west wind”It doesn’t
like Chinese west wind.It means warm ,moist and the symbol of harvest in west culture.For example,the poem
Ode to the West Wind.In ancient China it stands for loneliness,homesick,farewell,sorrow and so on.
DR译 丁祖馨和Burton Rafel 的合译
Tune：Tian Jing Sha
Withering vines hanging on old branches,
Returning crows croaking at dusk
A few houses hidden past a narrow bridge,
And below the bridge quiet creek running.
Down a worn path,in the west,
And the lovesick traveler is still at the end of the world.
评析：使用大量的动词、连词和介词来构成完整的英语语篇。尤其将原曲中的静态动词将其动态化，从
文字上，完整表达整首诗的情思与意境，易于被理解和接受。诗体风格上，更接近英语诗歌风格，以英
语诗歌方式，重新勾画出一幅动态图画，各种景物相依相存，情寓景中。It consist of many
verbes,conjunction and preposition properly,Espcially the danamic verbes using makes it easy to be accepted
and understund.It’s close to English poetic style.All images in the picturesque poem are vivid and
不足之处：lovesick（爱情上单相思游人）曲解原意“浪迹天涯伤心游子“
翁显良译（W译）
Auturn
Crows hovering over old trees wreathed with rotten vine-the day is about done.
Yonder is a tiny bridge over a sparkling stream,and on the far bank,a pretty little village.
But the traveler has to go on down this ancient road,the west wind moaning,his bony horse groaning,trudging
towards the sinking sun,farther and farther away from home.
英语形合的完美体现，经历从意合到形合的蜕变。对原曲的paraphrase，原作的外在形式美与韵律美荡
然无存，属于“表意派 ”或“神似派”译体。译文题材属于散文而非诗歌。没有诗行，没有韵律，有
的只是语篇表达出来的意境。语篇连贯通顺，表意相对直白。
同首曲，三种翻译风格迥异，各取所长，对该曲风格、意义和意境各取所长。
整体来说：汉语文化涵义传达效果：W>DR>S
意合转形合程度为：W>DR>S
Some excises
汉语喜欢用动态（dynamic state）角度反映某些静态（static state）现实，而在英语中，则喜欢用静态角
度反映某些动态现实。