英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
V ery Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。
她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。
他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。
”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。
她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。
”“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。
”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。
”“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。
”Two SoldiersTwo soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped."What do you want now?" Bill said to him.George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。
乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”比尔说：“有。
”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。
”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。
乔治开始写信。
写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。
乔治问：“你要出去吗?”比尔说：“是的。
”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."大五个月第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。
所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。
这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。
所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。
”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。
”West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。
开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。
几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。
“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。
”一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
幽默的英文小故事
幽默的英文小故事幽默的英文小故事（通用9篇）是不是总觉得学英语看阅读很烦躁?那是没有找到打开英语阅读的正确方式，下面，这些幽默的英文小故事，估计会让你爱上英文阅读。
幽默的英文小故事篇1As the years turn生日来临之际For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。
(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。
)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。
”幽默的英文小故事篇2Peer pressure同辈的压力My teen-age son，Chad，and nine of his friends came home one night with newly pierced ears. When his grandmother heard about it，she asked him why he did it.”Peerpressure," Chad told her.一天晚上，我十几岁的儿子查理，带着九个朋友回到家，他们都扎了耳朵眼儿。
趣味幽默英语小故事
趣味幽默英语小故事趣味幽默英语小故事篇一A new firm arranged to employ a secretary. The manager decided to hold a psychological test for choosing a good one.Three girls had applied for the post. They should be examined by a psychologist.The psychologist said to the first girl, "Now listen carefully. What do three and three make?" the girl quickly replied "Six", then the examiner told her to wait in the next room.The second girl was asked the same question. She hesitated for a while, suspecting something was planned, then she said jokingly: "Well, it might be thirty-three." Then she was also told to wait in the next room.The third girl was still asked the same question. She took her time and answered: "Might be thirty-three or six." The psychologist was well pleased and said to the manager: "The first girl gave the obvious answer. The second one suspected me of tricking her. The third one had it going both way. Now, which one would you have?"一家新公司打算招聘一个秘书，经理决定做一次心理测试以便选用一个合适的人选。
英语幽默小故事7篇
英语幽默小故事7篇若是你在学习英语的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。
英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。
这次小编给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
英语幽默小故事1My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。
一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。
麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。
While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”英语幽默小故事2Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after allthese years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。
英语趣味幽默小故事有趣的笑话和幽默故事
英语趣味幽默小故事有趣的笑话和幽默故事英语趣味幽默小故事英语趣味幽默小故事英语趣味幽默小故事：诚实A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died. “Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis when he was thirty-five.“ "I am very sorry," said the manager, "We cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy." As the man was leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk who had overheard the conversation. "You must not be so frank and tell the truth," said the clerk, "no office will insure yoy if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little." The man went to another office and was shown into the manager"s room. "Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died " "Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football." 一位男子去一家保险公司给自己投人寿保险。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
英语幽默小故事带翻译故事对人们来说,有着天然的吸引力。
人们创作故事时,就期待着读者能够与之产生共鸣,得到愉悦的体验、得到情绪的释放。
店铺整理了英语幽默小故事带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默小故事带翻译篇一做好事On a street near my workplace，I noticed a meter maid happily writing tickets for a whole line of cars parked at expired meters. As she deposited $10 tickets on one windshield after another，I felt called to do a good deed. I deposited a quarter in the last meter in the row，thus saving a fellow driver the price of a ticket.一次，在我工作地点附近的一条街上，我看到一个检查路旁计时器的小姐高兴地给一排汽车逐辆地开着超时罚款单。
当她一张接一张地往汽车雨刷下的玻璃上塞罚单时，我觉得这时该我做点好事了。
于是，我往这一排最后一台自动计时器里扔了25美分。
这样，这辆汽车的司机就可以省下罚款钱了。
Feeling rather pleased with myself，I headed for my office.I couldn't resist turning back in hopes of seeing the meter maid's reaction when she saw that the red flag was no longer showing on that meter. When she reached the last car in the line，she reached into her purse，pulled out her keys，got into the car I had "rescued"and drove away.我为自己的行为感到特别高兴，开始往工作的地点走，一边走一边禁不住地想回头看。
一分钟英文幽默小故事(共8篇)
一分钟英文幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：一分钟英文幽默小故事 A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return.Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all.But when he tried to get out again he foundhimself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune.一分钟英文幽默小故事2:The Beauty of a ShabbyLittle DandelionSpring has e for the flowers and trees, in the forest and fields. Spring has also e on the wild flowers under the fence and on a small apple tree. There were red bursting flower buds hanging on the fresh apple tree branches.The apple Tree Branch held up his head and looked at many kinds of people who came in and out. They allshowed different reactions to the Apple Tree Branch.All the people reacted differently when they saw the Apple Tree branch. Some were expressionless without a word, some overpraised the beauty of the Apple Tree Branch, and others gazed at him with a satisfied look.Seeing these various reactions from people, the Apple Tree Branch realized that people have as diverse personalities as plants and flowers do and that they are all different. The Apple Tree branch looked at the fields and a garden through the open window. There were shabby flowers and plants as well as beautiful ones in the garden.'Those grasses are so pathetic. It's not theirfault they have such ugly and squalid names. However, everything is different in this world.' The apple Tree Branch sympathized and looked at the little flowers blooming next to the fields and streams.At that time, the Sun kissed the Apple Tree Branch, a dandelion in the field, the abundant beautiful flowers, and the shabby fl owers and said, “Yes, there is difference among everything, but throw away yourprejudice and look ahead with a broad point of view. What do you think the poorest plant is?” “A Dandelion. People do not use it even for a bouquet, and it is so mon that people trle it down carelessly. It is not different from a weed at all.”At that time, children ran across the field,rolled about on the lawn, and picked and kissed the dandelions. They made necklaces and garlands of them. They looked wonderful with the golden flowers and green stems.The seeds stuck to the stalks of the dandelions, and they were as beautiful as white feathers. When the children blew out with a puff, the seeds of the dandelions fluttered away as if they had wings.“Look at that! Now, do you und erstand how beautiful those flowers are, and how much pleasure they can give us?” The Sun said to the Apple Tree Branch. “They are only for children.” The Apple Tree Branch answered.At that time, an old lady dug in the ground of the field and picked the roots of the dandelions. She willmake tea, take it to the doctor who makes medicine,and earn money with the roots of the dandelions.“But, beauty is more valuable than those things. Only elected ones can join the Kingdom of Beauty. Not every plant can be the same, just as people can't be the same.” The Apple Tree Branch said.Later some people came into the room. The Countess who brought the Apple Tree Branch to the castle wasone of them. She brought a stalk of dandelion seeds much more carefully than when she brought the Apple Tree Branch.“Look at this. Isn't this beautiful? I will drawa picture of this dandelion with the apple tree branch. Everyone says that the apple tree branch is more beautiful, but this humble dandelion has a different kind of beauty. Even though the apple tree branch and the dandelion look different from each other, they are all beautiful.” The Countess said filled with admiration.The Sun smiled and kissed the shabby dandelion and the Apple Tree Branch. The Apple Tree Branch blushed his own petals with shame.篇2：一分钟英文幽默小故事 A long time ago, there lived a terrible king. The terrible king's wish was that all the people would shake in fear at the sound of his name. The terrible king made the lives of the people in the neighbor land ho rrible. “Here! Take everything!”The terrible king viciously took away all the belongings of the neighbor land. He even scared the poor women and children. The king was not even sorry to the children and women. The terrible king bothered the people of the neighbor land worse and worse everyday. The palace became more and more magnificent.“Put up a statue in the church!” Now theterrible king was ordering the church to place a statue of himself there. However, the ministers could not do that.“ Your majesty may be great, but God is even greater.”The terrible king was being angry. It was because he thought that he was the greatest in the whole world. Then the king was angry. “What! He is greater? Then I will defeat God.”In a loud voice, the terrible king said that he would win against God. That's why he ordered that a magnificent ship be built in order to go to the heaven. He said he would ride the ship to go and defeat God. The terrible king rode the ship up to heaven.From the sky, an angel was sent. However, the terrible king shot over a thousand bullets at the angel. “Ahhhhhh” Being shot, the angel was bleeding. The blood dropped unto the terrible king's ship. The angel's blood was so heavy that the king's ship sank.The terrible king became angry, again. “Build a more stronger ship.” The terrible king wanted abetter ship, so he ordered all the workers in his kingdom to build it. “I will defeat God for sure!”The terrible king went up to heaven, once more. God sent mosquitoes to the terrible king. The terribleking just laughed at the mosquitoes. “Go and bring me the best carpet.”The king made another mand. He thought that if he wrapped the carpet around his body the mosquitoes would not be able to bite him. But one mosquito went inside of the carpet. Because of that one mosquito, the terrible king was rolling around screaming. The terrible king that couldn't even catch one mosquito was a laughingstock for his troops.The Terrible King篇3：一分钟英语幽默小故事 Many ages had now passed away since the Phoenix had been seen in the world. At last he again appeared. Immediately al the different kinds of animals, both birds and beasts, flocked around him.篇4：一分钟英语幽默小故事 Christmas was ing .Mr Smith had no money to buy any presents for hischildren .His wife was ill and he spent a lot of money on her medicine .And the harvest was bad and all his family were going go be hungry the next spring .He was quite worried about it .“We had only a cock ,”said Mrs Smith oneday .“You’d better take it to the town .Sell it there and buy some cakes and sweets for ourchildren .”“It’s a good idea !”the man said and caught the cock the next morning and put it into a box .It was difficult to walk on the road covered with thicksnow .Two hours later he was very tied and wanted to have a rest .He put the box to the ground and sat down .“The air in the box must be close ,”the man said to himself .“I’d better let the cock walk outside for a while ,or it’ll die .”So he put the cock to the ground .When he started again ,he couldn’t catch it any lo nger .“How foolish you are !”Mr Smith called out angrily .“You can herald the break of day at night but you cann’t find the way to the town in the daytime !”篇6：英文短篇幽默小故事精选 Once there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on thedresser, and it was a small piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. “Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautifu l night.” A baby doll with a red velvet ribbon said. “Okay. Let's play a game.” “After that, let's have a tea party.” “Wow, it will beexciting!” All the toys shouted for joy.“Hey, piggy bank! e on and join us. Let's enjoy the party.” “e on.” Everyone inv ited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn'tstand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.He smelled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuckhis head towards the toys gathered.“Clink!” The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. “Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself.”“It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party.”All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.篇7：英文幽默哲理小故事英文幽默哲理小故事1、如今我要表现得像一位女士One day womens dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。
英语搞笑小故事带翻译
英语搞笑小故事带翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
小编精心收集了英语搞笑小故事带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语搞笑小故事带翻译篇1Smaller Fish小鱼Two men were in a restaurant and order fish,有两名男子在餐厅点鱼。
The waiter brought a dish with two fish,服务生端来装着两条鱼的盘子，one larger than the other.其中一条鱼比另外一条来得大。
One of the men said to the other,"Please help yourself."当中一位男子跟另外一位说：The other one said"Ok,"“别客气，请自行取用呀。
”and helped himself to the larger fish.另外一位男子说：“好”，After a tense silence,于是就帮自己挑了比较大条的鱼。
the first one said,"really,if you had offered me the first choice,i would have taken the smallerfish!"就在一阵气氛紧张的沉默之后，第一位男子就说：“真是的。
如果你要我先选，我就会拿比较小条的鱼。
”The other one replied,"What are you complaining for?you have it,don't you?"另一位男子回答说：“那你在抱怨个什么劲呀?你现在已经拿了呀，不是吗?”英语搞笑小故事带翻译篇2Exchange Sandwiches交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
英语幽默小故事带翻译英语幽默小故事带翻译笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默小故事带翻译1：A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"一个商人走进纽约一家银行询问信贷员。
15则经典英语幽默故事
15则经典英语幽默故事下面是店铺整理的15则经典英语幽默故事，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默故事1.A: Madam, do you have something in common with your husband?B: Oh, we have only one point in common—we got married on the same day, in the same month and in the same year.英语幽默故事2.After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. “ Get up, dear,” she said, “ It’s 20 to seven.”He awoke wi th a start. “ In whose favor?”英语幽默故事3.The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”英语幽默故事4.On the way home from my university, I was going to drop off a friend at her home, when I realized I was lost. I asked her for directions. She said she was not sure of the route. Hoping to jog her memory, I asked, “ what route does your father take when drives you to school?” She didn’t know. I thought it might simplify things if I rephrased the question.” When you go home,which way does he go?”“ Oh, that’s easy,” she replied. “ He goes back the same way he came.”英语幽默故事5.During my second year at university I was having trouble deciding on my major. In a agonizing discussion with my adviser, I decided to double major in astrophysics and theater. Getting up to leave, I said, “ Thanks for your help. But what am I going to do once I graduate?”My adviser shrugged,“ You could be a star,” he said.英语幽默故事6.The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate.The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said, “ You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?”“ In the rat trap, sir,” replied the boy.英语幽默故事7.One professor solemnly addressed the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”英语幽默故事8.Just before graduation from university, my son and several friends were discussing the role their families had played in their career plans. My son, who had been accepted by a college ofoptometry, had been quiet during most of the talk.“ How about you, Dale?” one of his buddies asked. “ Was you pushy?“ No, he replied. “ I had complete freedom of choice. I could be any kind of doctor I wanted to be.”英语幽默故事9.During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone else” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”英语幽默故事10.Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.英语幽默故事11.About two weeks before our fifth anniversary of marriage, my husband asked what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.On our anniversary night, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet. “ A little four-letter word made me get this for you,” he said softly.“Oh, how sweet,” I whispered. “L-O-V-E?’“No,’ he replied. “S-A-l-E.”英语幽默故事12.A: Oh, how nice your bookshelf is! But it’s a pity that it is empty without any books in it.B: I had no bookshelf in the past. In order to buy the bookshelf, I have sold all my books. D on’t you know?英语幽默故事13.M: Do you love your bride?Bridegroom: Yes, of course. I love her very much.M: Are you willing to accompany with your husband forever?Bride (with head shaking repeatedly): Of course not. He is a postman, how can I accompany with him all the whole day?英语幽默故事14.“Joe is the man for me,” said a starry-eyed young lady to her mother, “ He’s nice. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He’s hardworking. He’s strong. He’s kind…..”“He’s married” interrupted her mother.“ So nobody is perfect.”英语幽默故事15.A tobacco-company executive traveled the country looking for long-time smoker in good health. He found one man who admitted to smoking for 70 years. “ If you do a commercial for us,” the executive explained. “ We’ll pay you $10,000.”“It’s a deal,” said the smoker. “When do I start?”“How about 10 A.M. Tomorrow?”“Can’t do it then, son—I never quit coughing till noon.”。