经典幽默英语故事(30个) (1)
经典幽默英语故事（50个）要求：1、每天阅读两篇小故事，写出故事大意，尽量理解故事里的幽默点。
23、开学后，请把这14页的阅读素材，装订成册，上交给各班的英语老师。
老师会根据你的完成情况，给你的阅读作业打出分数。
姓名：_________ 班级：_________ 学号：_________ 成绩：_________第一篇My First and My LastWhen George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned tofly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds oftricks.George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to takeMark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big planeseveral times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did allkinds of tricks in the air.When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, andhe said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank youvery much for those two trips in your plane."Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?""Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第二篇First FlightMr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents,so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson wasvery worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第三篇A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第四篇I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage."Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第五篇Chaude and ColdA patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.""But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.""Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C.""Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第六篇A Soldier's Brilliant IdeaMr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第七篇New DiscoveryA hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________第八篇A Bad ImpressionSix people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!"故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第九篇Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescrib ed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第十篇CreativeApplying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第11篇ReminderIn the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual rabies shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten d ays. "Oh yes, in fact that's why we're here," she replied. Surprised, I told her we assume d they'd come in because of our reminder."We did," she explained. "Bruno bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第12篇Imitate BirdsA man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer."Imitate birds," the man said."Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen.""Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第13篇How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第14篇Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第15篇One Side of the CaseA judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand."I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge."Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head."You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."故事大意：______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第16篇A SmugglarThe suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams."What's in here?" he asked."Dirt," the driver replied."Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck."What's in the bags this time?" he asked."Dirt, more dirt." said the man.Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第17篇Early ShopperIt was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked."Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant."That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.故事大意：______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第18篇WingsThe fried-chicken restaurant where I was working had a big rush just before closing one day, leaving us with nothing to sell but wings. As I was about to lock the doors, aa quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner. When I asked if wings would be all right, he leaned over the counter and replied, "Lady, I came in here to eat, not fly."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第19篇Keep the ChangeSelling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第20篇Three WhistlesI promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" Iasked, pointing to another tray."You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第21篇Too PoliteA woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything, but always foun d fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the woman' s grumpy complaints in stride, but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?" demanded the woman.A smile on her face, the clerk calmly replied, "Perhaps it's because we're too polite."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第22篇Good Points and Bad Points"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north.""What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer."The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第23篇CameraOn our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap, disposable model. Sal asked the owner, "Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?""Look, fella," replied the owner, "I don't care what you do with it after you buy it."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第24篇Quick ReactionMy battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?""Yes, sir." he replied."Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could. "Well, then," the commander went on, "Can you see that bird sitting on the antenna?"The sergeant leaned forward and squinted. "No, sir," he said, "but I can hear it is singing."He got the job.故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第25篇Visual TrainingThe squad were having "visual training". One smart recruit was asked by the officer to c ount how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so far a way that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied: "Sexteen men and a sergeant, sir.""Right; but how do you know there's a sergeant there?""He's not doing any digging, sir."故事大意：______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第26篇Speed LimitThe British RAF base where I was stationed as part of a contingent of USAF personnel had one narrow road winding through the crowded residential area. After a rash of minor vehicle pedestrian accidents, the USAF commander decided to reduce the speed limit to three m.p.h. Shortly after the new limit was posted, an MP sergeant issued a speeding citation to a jeep driver for going five m.p.h. I was curious to know how the MP had determined the jeep's speed so exactly. "I was jogging to get to the PX before it closed," he explained, "and as I passed the jeep, I noticed that the speedometer read five m.p.h."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第27篇West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Bo ston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed unifor ms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第29篇I Didn't Know That I Was So Far Back Already!A big battle was going on during the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the soldier decided th at the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming tow ards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?""I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir." the soldier answered."Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angerly. "I'm your commanding officer. "The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already!"故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________None Other Than a SoldierAs a newly commissinaed infantry lieutenant, I was eager to set an example for my platoon by cleaning my own M-16 rifle. While we were working on the weapons, one soldier complained about the unusual notched shape of the M-16's bolt and chamber, which makes it difficult to clean."Lieutenant, they need to make something to clean this with," the soldier said."They do," piped up a sergeant."Really," I said with surprise, wondering why we had not ordered such a tool."Yes, sir," replied the sergeant. "It's called a soldier."故事大意：_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
英语幽默故事带翻译
英语幽默故事带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语幽默故事带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默故事带翻译：疯人院 The Looney BinLate one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”英语幽默故事带翻译：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
英语短篇幽默小故事
英语短篇幽默小故事篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇.英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语幽默小故事7篇
英语幽默小故事7篇若是你在学习英语的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。
英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。
这次小编给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
英语幽默小故事1My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。
一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。
麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。
While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”英语幽默小故事2Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after allthese years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事共10篇，希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译：中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visitCaptain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译：在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语幽默故事精粹3篇
英语幽默故事精粹3篇篇一：英语幽默小故事6篇1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
英语搞笑小故事带翻译
英语搞笑小故事带翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
小编精心收集了英语搞笑小故事带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语搞笑小故事带翻译篇1Smaller Fish小鱼Two men were in a restaurant and order fish,有两名男子在餐厅点鱼。
The waiter brought a dish with two fish,服务生端来装着两条鱼的盘子，one larger than the other.其中一条鱼比另外一条来得大。
One of the men said to the other,"Please help yourself."当中一位男子跟另外一位说：The other one said"Ok,"“别客气，请自行取用呀。
”and helped himself to the larger fish.另外一位男子说：“好”，After a tense silence,于是就帮自己挑了比较大条的鱼。
the first one said,"really,if you had offered me the first choice,i would have taken the smallerfish!"就在一阵气氛紧张的沉默之后，第一位男子就说：“真是的。
如果你要我先选，我就会拿比较小条的鱼。
”The other one replied,"What are you complaining for?you have it,don't you?"另一位男子回答说：“那你在抱怨个什么劲呀?你现在已经拿了呀，不是吗?”英语搞笑小故事带翻译篇2Exchange Sandwiches交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
英语幽默小故事带翻译英语幽默小故事带翻译笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默小故事带翻译1：A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"一个商人走进纽约一家银行询问信贷员。
15则经典英语幽默故事
15则经典英语幽默故事下面是店铺整理的15则经典英语幽默故事，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默故事1.A: Madam, do you have something in common with your husband?B: Oh, we have only one point in common—we got married on the same day, in the same month and in the same year.英语幽默故事2.After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. “ Get up, dear,” she said, “ It’s 20 to seven.”He awoke wi th a start. “ In whose favor?”英语幽默故事3.The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”英语幽默故事4.On the way home from my university, I was going to drop off a friend at her home, when I realized I was lost. I asked her for directions. She said she was not sure of the route. Hoping to jog her memory, I asked, “ what route does your father take when drives you to school?” She didn’t know. I thought it might simplify things if I rephrased the question.” When you go home,which way does he go?”“ Oh, that’s easy,” she replied. “ He goes back the same way he came.”英语幽默故事5.During my second year at university I was having trouble deciding on my major. In a agonizing discussion with my adviser, I decided to double major in astrophysics and theater. Getting up to leave, I said, “ Thanks for your help. But what am I going to do once I graduate?”My adviser shrugged,“ You could be a star,” he said.英语幽默故事6.The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate.The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said, “ You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?”“ In the rat trap, sir,” replied the boy.英语幽默故事7.One professor solemnly addressed the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”英语幽默故事8.Just before graduation from university, my son and several friends were discussing the role their families had played in their career plans. My son, who had been accepted by a college ofoptometry, had been quiet during most of the talk.“ How about you, Dale?” one of his buddies asked. “ Was you pushy?“ No, he replied. “ I had complete freedom of choice. I could be any kind of doctor I wanted to be.”英语幽默故事9.During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone else” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”英语幽默故事10.Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.英语幽默故事11.About two weeks before our fifth anniversary of marriage, my husband asked what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.On our anniversary night, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet. “ A little four-letter word made me get this for you,” he said softly.“Oh, how sweet,” I whispered. “L-O-V-E?’“No,’ he replied. “S-A-l-E.”英语幽默故事12.A: Oh, how nice your bookshelf is! But it’s a pity that it is empty without any books in it.B: I had no bookshelf in the past. In order to buy the bookshelf, I have sold all my books. D on’t you know?英语幽默故事13.M: Do you love your bride?Bridegroom: Yes, of course. I love her very much.M: Are you willing to accompany with your husband forever?Bride (with head shaking repeatedly): Of course not. He is a postman, how can I accompany with him all the whole day?英语幽默故事14.“Joe is the man for me,” said a starry-eyed young lady to her mother, “ He’s nice. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He’s hardworking. He’s strong. He’s kind…..”“He’s married” interrupted her mother.“ So nobody is perfect.”英语幽默故事15.A tobacco-company executive traveled the country looking for long-time smoker in good health. He found one man who admitted to smoking for 70 years. “ If you do a commercial for us,” the executive explained. “ We’ll pay you $10,000.”“It’s a deal,” said the smoker. “When do I start?”“How about 10 A.M. Tomorrow?”“Can’t do it then, son—I never quit coughing till noon.”。
英语幽默的小故事
英语幽默的小故事（实用版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的实用范文，如学习资料、英语资料、学生作文、教学资源、求职资料、创业资料、工作范文、条据文书、合同协议、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!In addition, this shop provides various types of practical sample essays, such as learning materials, English materials, student essays, teaching resources, job search materials, entrepreneurial materials, work examples, documents, contracts, agreements, other essays, etc. Please pay attention to the different formats and writing methods of the model essay!英语幽默的小故事英语幽默的小故事5篇其实对于某一些重点的学校，又或者是与国外建立起了友好交流关系的学校，只有那些具有优势英语的学生才有可能会被录取并参加国外友好学校的交流活动下面是本店铺为大家整理的英语幽默的小故事，如果大家喜欢可以分享给身边的朋友。